The Sebring CitiCar. Muscle cars are fun to drive and all, but I think a CitiCar would love me and be my best friend.

New #risograph #dragon print

The Polycule Reads A Book Together #ascntd

Surprise #painting of my spouse's #bunny

one thing I like about birdsong is they didn’t have to do that. Plenty of other animals get by without the singing. they just found a way to communicate that works for them and also happens to be nice and pleasant for me to experience from a middle distance on a sunny Thursday morning

reading #ascntd gave me an incurable disease

you guys really liked the last #nsfw I posted, so here is some vintage #garrus fan art that I made in 2016.

"Dreams of Sunbeams" (Bronze-Winged Pionus) 18”x18” oil on stretched canvas I will miss you, always A memorial painting of my girl, four years in the making.

#nsfw #ascntd spoilers, sorry not sorry. how am I even supposed to tag this.

gave this pony from eBay a perm

i hope they brought back a space alien virus that will make Everyone Kind

Apparently, Sir Cameron

And one from the rim

A king on his throne

Squirrel thunderdome happening on my roof right now

Small child outside has been screaming bloody murder for five minutes straight because his tricycle is too difficult to pedal across the grass. I get that he's gotta learn emotional regulation but ... maybe one of the adults chaperoning could try giving him a push??? sounds like he is being tortured

My big #toad #painting for this weekend's art show

He's been letting me get my face really really close to him lately. I think someday he'll let me pet him.

Why Does My Tummy Hurt: A Super Solvers Mystery

Made a new coloring page for work #printable

i would simply not encourage my children or anyone to enact interpersonal violence on vengeful supernatural beings?!?!?

MyChart should have leaderboards

Putting a "tarantula on board" sign on my car so people know why I'm driving so slowly

Insulindian phasmid real

He has parked himself in the kitchen and refuses to leave

doodling me and my housemates as ponies

I know we’ve been through this before and I don’t want to get my hopes up again but you gotta admit The Ides of March would be a really funny time for it to happen

yesterday it was like 80 degrees

We need to be making cars smaller and slower. And in fun colors.

licks the hummus off your cucumber and throws it on the floor #parrotsky

Adults of the world: please stop making vague and empty threats at your toddlers. You need to make immediately actionable demands. They will not remember next week that you told them last week "if you keep screaming we won't come back next week." Sincerely, a Story Time reader.

Today's Cheese #parrots

"No onions," I say, letting a single tear roll down my cheek so the server knows I'm pro-onion but have food intolerances

Ruminating on how sad I am that the Reddit Guy With Two Penises was a hoax. Not for horny reasons, just because it made me feel like anything was possible in this world.

Every time my isopod tank gets crowded and I cull them (by putting a dozen of them back outside where I found them) my spouse makes me feel guilty by saying I've cast them out of paradise

I've always wanted one of these fancy tabletop perches but all my other cockatiels through the years have been too rascally to stay put on one. Not so for Cheese, who has not a single rascally feather on his body.

Cheese cake ...

Brought this toad to my weekly class of first graders. They immediately asked why he didn't have a penis. My automatic response was "he doesn't need one."

Nobody warned me that adulthood involves so much inventory management. Usually of other people's inventories.

I hate that my teeth chatter when I'm upset. I'm feeling internal despair but on the outside I look like I'm in the Scooby Doo haunted house.

My spouse just asked me "這些是我們的橄欖嗎?" (are these our olives?) And I answered "我們? Si." I don't speak Spanish.

I think it's really funny when children's stories want there to be a monarchy for the aesthetic, but they don't want any awkwardness around monarchy as a form of government, so they have a democratically elected king

my evil cereals

Ripley: u wanna noodle? Spouse: That's not what this is. Ripley: what is it? Spouse: It's oatmeal. Ripley: a berry? Spouse: Nice try.

Having a sick in bed day and my spouse brought me Cheese

Wish me luck eating food tomorrow

they should make a kind of sleep that is restful

"time heals all wounds" wrong. sepsis

Fellas is it being a poor little meow meow to *checks notes* be hospitalized for PTSD

How does an animal the size of a tangerine have so much swagger