It’s almost 5pm right?

Anyone want to buy a shop? Because if you do you’d better act fast, this handwritten sheet of unlamented A4 on the outside of a vape shop won’t hang around for ever.

Like Chernobyl 🤦

The whole of the UK right now

Another astounding epic photo from the dark side of the Moon - just released by NASA.

NEWS! People go back to believing everything they read on the Internet newsthump.com/2026/04/01/p...

Just discovered some very important information

Well this took a turn www.theguardian.com/uk-news/ng-i...

It may take a few minutes to arrive. It will expire after five minutes. Sounds like you’ve designed a top notch system here chaps. 😞

I have clicked through on the Amazon advert in Grindr too many times 😞

Happy Wales Day. Cawl not Coffee.

Take off your damn hat

When the f**k is it going to stop raining? This is getting ridiculous now.

I’m glad that in 2026 we’ve accepted the point that he lied to everyone and that might of included his Mother (regardless of who she was). Shock. Honestly. Shock. 😶 The Queen was blind on Andrew — now the royals play catch-up www.thetimes.com/article/0b84...

Interesting move for a political party.

No, YOU just ate your lunch by twenty to twelve.

Hilariously Princess Anne is visiting Leeds Prison today. 💀

I bet he’s sweating now

Chopped a chilli earlier. Just touched my 🔔🔚 🤦‍♂️🍆🚨

Currently gearing myself up for my first five day week of 2026.

🙏

This image of an Amazon van abandoned in the Thames Estuary faintly evokes an impressionist painting. I am so moved.

All news is local news nation.cymru/news/plans-a...

Laters 👋 👋 👋

This evenings dram…

Sarah Ferguson is said to be very upset. Jeffrey Epstein sent £10,000 to Mandelson’s husband, emails show

May have ordered the gayest cocktail on the menu an “Old Barbara” Still one way to get one of my five a day #IloveGdansk #Gdansk #Poland

Ça c est un bon chien ! 🐶😜

I think @go4know.com is desperate for a follow. Third batch of likes in as many months

Two loads done, now for some lunch

Almost three years after leaving a comms role, I have finally had my access to a corporate Telegraph account ended.

Something about largest surviving mechanical signal box in the world

“Welshface” is a ridiculous word and concept and frankly borderline offensive. Secondly this reminds me that many many Welsh nationalists are just as pathetic as flag waving Reform voters. They will find something and complain about it. No matter how minor or trivial it is.

I don’t even know what to say anymore. It’s going to take decades and successive presidents to get this shit show back on course

In bed and have my first Teams call of the year in 14 mins. (WFH day)

100 Trophies 1 Platinum #TombRaider is 29 years old this year and it’s still an amazing game. #gaming #Playstation #PSTrophies #Paltinum

It’s a lot isn’t it? A lot.

As a gay man. I have yet another enemy I will hate for the rest of my life. His name is Nathen. He’s not an ex, not a shag, he’s just someone who’s crossed me. And he’ll never cross back. It’s just the way it is.

Amazon coming through to help us gays fund Christmas x

Good news for the govt. I’ve paid my tax bill. They’re now free to spend spend spend. I’m expecting tangible increases in public spending in the new year.

I need to be in a pub in three hours

Just handed my notice in. 🧘 Boss was very understanding and happy for me (I’ve basically got a promotion) but equally a bit pissed off about starting a recruitment process. Merry Christmas to one and all 😛

BBC News going on about 9% inflation in the price of sprouts. Just don't buy those devil vegetables: then you won't have to worry about the price or the fact they're horrible.

A reminder that Nigel Farage has pocketed more than £400,000 this year from GB News. No wonder Farage is cheering Trump on in his attacks on the BBC.

😉

Wait what? I thought the thing was rigged to constantly pay out 8.