Can’t believe he said this, seems somewhat disrespectful

According to "Pacific Rim" we all should have just won the great kaiju war. This sucks, comparatively.

Today at work on the big whiteboard calendar I confidently wrote SPRING 2016 and just filled it in with event dates and walked off. Two hours later when I was making copies I saw it and was like, wait, no, it isn't. Sorry. I tried.

Me (listening to Fernando Mendoza): Why does he sound like he works at a bank? Did he just say synergy? (Googles Fernando Mendoza's academic background.) Me: Oh. Yeah, OK.

Do we even think either of these bands know "Neck"? Or would just find it way too impolite?

Feel like he’s breaking the 4th wall bc he realized this is kinda f’d up

I'm getting suspicious there are too many Jadens in college football right now.

Miami have fun at your film session I guess

Hello Big 10 viewers. The sound you're hearing is a train horn that Atlantans keep in our stadium for celebrating fun. Atlanta used to be the end of the railroad, called Terminus, and I love when they keep a stadium tradition alive even though maybe 1% of people at this game are aware of why. ❤️🍑

I saw this video of a Vietnam vet in the fur coat yelling at ICE and thought to myself, "this is missing something," before I realized, "Ah, of course, the Ether instrumental. It's so obvious."

Hotty Toddy y'all. That was a great game. Nobody made any of that easy.

I have lived in apartments since I was 17. I live in a standalone house right now, and so I can scream all I want for this really great football game.

🚨🚨🚨 ONE OF THE BANDS IS PLAYING NECK. 🚨🚨🚨 WE HAVE NECK. 🚨🚨🚨

I will no longer be watching any news I will only be watching this video on repeat for the rest of 2026.

🤔

Hundreds of thousands of people are going to go to bed heartbroken and sad tonight, but we need to wake up angry af tomorrow.

ICE responsible for 100% of homicides in Minneapolis YTD

2026: Not even one full week and it's already the greatest hits of absolute shit.

Chuck Schumer: Someone needs to do something! Everyone: Baby, that's literally your job.

Hi um can I sign myself of for hospice? Can I work from there?

I am very old but also can't ever decide if a song or movie or show is bad or if I just didn't get it, or didn't like it, or I just have bad taste. Like I'm never going on the internet to be like "This is bad," because I honestly can't stop second-guessing myself.

2025 is back there somewhere laughing like, yeah bitch, you thought.

Hey Google, how much does angioplasty cost?

Book I'd swear an oath on:

TRIN-I-DAD CHAM-BLISS. 👏—👏—👏👏👏.

I am now a fan of the (checks notes) Indiana (checks notes) Hoosiers? Oh wow. Like the movie? Wild.

This is absolutely the only thing I would willingly go to Charlotte for.

🥲

Public service announcement: SHAKIRA IS 47.

Anderson Cooper lookin more like Sam Eagle every day.

I actually believe Anderson Cooper and Andy Cohen are friends because I also have friends I can tell are internally cringing every time I speak.

I have worked with the phone company to get the phone and internet fixed at my mom's house. It has been broken since April. (Takes a bow.)

I have been out of bed for half an hour and my mom has called me a bitch three times. What day of Christmas is bitches?

My mom has only orthopedic fancy beds in her South Carolina house so right now I'm watching Masterpiece Mystery on my computer with noise-canceling headphones so I can enjoy having the top of my body jiggled to relax.

if tumblr dies I need this video to make it's seasonal rotation here instead just in case, Happy holidays 🎄

Christ, what an asshole. Not everything is about you, dude.

this is not behavior becoming of a FIFA Peace Prize recipient.

Why yes, I am wearing a camping blanket like a wrap dress under my desk. It's the latest from my "This office is freezing" collection.

there were like 4 distinct massive tragedies this weekend why was this weekend evil

This entire weekend

they pay us $19k a year

Dad: Big game at 3:30. Me: We don’t care about pro football. Dad: Women’s basketball, honey.

Thinkpiece pitch: Yes I was of the age where I had OG Four Loko and now I’m having espresso martinis and the only difference is about $9 each.

Not claiming to be an expert here but I have only gone to and worked at urban universities (since 1999). First: most of the main building doors are unlocked in the daytime. Some offices and labs have key/card access, but mostly you can just walk in.

RADICAL, DUDE.

A year later and I still think Timothée Chalamet should replace P** M*A*** on GameDay.

I think the first time I saw "Dirty Dancing" I was too young to understand sexiness. I knew about sex, because I had younger cousins, but that was just mechanical to me. Chemistry. But ONE Solomon Burke song later and I was like, I suspect this might be more than what they told me about the eggs.