Put your volume on to hear the pressurized pop. The left bottle is a cream soda. The right one is a ginger beer with cayenne.

You guys got anything ah, you know, foreign and a little bit "artistic"? Them French broads, they don't shave nothin, you know.

I'm here to tell you, I would not let anybody know about when to expect the rapture unless I was lying and I wanted them to look like a complete boob. Like my rapture would be me jumping up from behind a tree and going "SURPRISE, CUNTS!" and then there's nothing left but your shoes.

ME: So I'm here to pitch a sequel to Glover 64. I want to call it Glover 65. EXECUTIVES CRAWLING OVER THE DESK, TEARING MY LIMBS FROM MY BODY AND BEATING EACH OTHER WITH THEM

Pet photos. That's it, I'm too tired to make boner jokes right now.

Strong "No bitches" energy on Bluesky today. People responding to obvious jokes with full Vox-style explainers. Morale and stocks are down, fragile self-importance and the national average glycemic index are up.

WERNER HERZOG: The denial of pain is the denial of life. Numbing pills prescribed through the numbing agent of the television. A relentless entropy factory, eternally churning out increasingly regressive garbage. The house has become a cocoon.

Extrapolation; as more Super Mario Brothers games are released, world tensions rise and we accelerate faster and faster into World War 3. Coincidence?

Born to ride Donald J Trump

Prince Charming: I must find the one who fits this magic jockstrap! Bring it to every confirmed bachelor in the land and I shall marry the one it fits! Butler: You don’t remember what his face looked like? Prince Charming: it wasn’t that kind of party

I know antifa isn't a real organization because I don't get 40 texts a week from them asking for donations.

Like it doesn't bother me to be searching for something innocuous and the first response is a bear jerking off (for some reason this happens often enough,) it's not for me but I have no trouble scrolling past. But it does create a bar for inviting new people onto the platform.

I have no opinion on the review itself, but IGN's scoring system of 7-10 gets awfully confusing for "at a glance" reads.

Dead-ass shocked that a Kennedy has a bad relationship with women.

Laaaaadies

My sleep paralysis demon just wrapped herself around my arm.

Don't know about perfect but Sexy Beast is a master class in promising violence but holding off on it until just the perfect moment. Plus it has Ian McShane.

last one but holy shit

Say hi to my dog Goemon, you wastoids.

We gotta get some nerd sports back on the radar here and this is the golden opportunity. I ran cross country and rowed, I'm willing to be the overly excitable color commentary for those.

The three genders

A loud, hollow click echoes around the dark room. The Disney Adult places the revolver on the center of the table, their eyes a living dare to the Harry Potter Adult sitting opposite.

Meanwhile Kenny Omega #aew

This should come with a time stamp because before a certain point it meant joyous trash awaited. After a certain point in history, Pyun movies only equalled pain.

On one hand it's annoying that Bluesky lets you disable quote posts, but on the other it's an easy way to spot tender little fuckers who have definitely stuck their foot in their mouths.

58? Excellent. Now let's look at how the overall numbers. 38 Dems voted present, and 95 were in favor. I see, I see.

Reading about the excruciating lives and deaths of lobsters and thinking we should bring Ecco the Dolphin back as a Souls game.

Okay I've figured out what I'm gonna make Alex stream next.

Okay I want to call bullshit on how much AI is allowed to hallucinate at work compared to me. The machines are getting more slack than the people.

Really miss when games had a ton of these little contextual bits.

Wait till it makes you scream "McDonald's!" before giving you access to your Häagen-Dazs.

Feel like we're shooting right past the fact that there's a Blu-ray of Creating Rem Lazar. Also that I don't have this movie on my bad movie night party rotation.

Honestly this comes as something of a relief at this point.

Shooting Kirk was technically correct, but we were supposed to dismantle his media support network first. Old school games who played Desert Strike know what I'm talking about.

She's gonna freak the fuck out when she finds out the new furniture is for pushing her and the arthritic dog around the hood.

It's an involved though not overly complex project to drill a hole in the statue and run a hose down to a bladder on the ground, allowing passerby to stomp on a bag that ejects cherry Kool-Aid from the neck.

Almost the same exact feeling as catching Jac-Mac and Radboy on Night Flight as a kid.

We're be on Mars by like *sniff* two minutes.

I blew a coworker's mind this morning, making him think about how accepting Kirk would be if he knew the bullet was coming for him that day. It's not a question worth hearing the answer to, but making his supporters answer it to themselves might make them realize their hero is a paper tiger.

DOG: They're great! They feed me, pet me, and when one of them puts his penis away it means I might get a walk! CAT: Yeah, it's weird. I live with two giants who barely know how to walk. They leave me regular offerings in a bowl and occasionally check in to make sure I'm happy.

A video on the 80s Zelda cartoon popped in my recommend and I remembered that Bob Forward (the main writer for The Legend Of Zelda, He-Man, and Beast Wars) has a patent for underwear that shocks your balls to regain testosterone

RealSound was computer voodoo if you understand the context. PC games of the time made music from deafening beeps that were intended more as system alerts. Access figured out how to play waveforms through that speaker, resulting in music clips and speech before sound cards existed.

He's never gonna give you that reacharound, bro