I'm in a "new cat orientation" call and this one woman has her camera on asking if we can hear her and we're all just staying on mute not saying shit

Gen Z detective arriving at the scene of the crime: What are the vibes

With the advent of AI, silicon has joined carbon on the list of elements that eventually find out about themselves if you give them enough time

It’s common to say: “nickleback is the Bud Light of beer”

Picking up a cat I adopted tomorrow

[teaching my boyfriend cards] ME: the blue ones represent logic, the yellow are morality & order, the green use instinct & interdependence, and the red value chaos & impulse HIM: *frantically flipping through UNO instruction booklet*

I hate to say it but this is true. They aren't even talking about "Holding space for the lyrics of Gravity and finding power in that" on here.

Very interesting to me that apparently the left-er position here is that Sarah McBride is obligated to fight this specific wedge issue, presumably because she's a part of the effected group of the wider culture war, even though she made it very clear she's more interested in working on other things

Last week was on a vacation with a group of strangers and some guy got really drunk and started clowning on another guy I had become friends for being too much of a nerd. It made no sense because the guy was cool and I was a much better target sitting right next to him

the "cromulent fuckcrustable" guy would have been considered a god tier poster on here

This year I finally finished my mtg vintage cube that I started back in 2017. It has 2 proxies in it, Mox Emerald which I'm sure I'll own some day, and Timetwister which I probably never will. Here's the list: cubecobra.com/cube/list/c9...

1. "Hey, we should make a platform where the out-group isn't allowed" 2. Out-group gets over generalized, removing all disagreement instead of just trolls 3. In-group gets no pushback and some start acting very weird 4. In-group is forced to govern itself and group lines are re-drawn 5. "Hey, we sho

How do you use this website without getting served up the reddit jokes

Wow I memory holed the adderall shortage, totally forgot this happened

Coming on this site again and looking at a couple of my old posts and I still like this one

I think it’s more like “a social media platform with no one to dunk on will obviously die”

Last night I got a migraine, which only happens to me once every 5-10 years or so. When Lara saw she gave me some migraine meds and I was like "why do you have these??" and she said "a few years ago you told me you occasionally get migraines so I picked them up" ❤️ ❤️

I live relatively high up in an apartment in NYC. When I moved in 3 years ago I put a $10 motion sensor outside my door so Alexa will say "Visitor at door" when someone is around, like a bootleg Ring doorbell. This week after 3 years someone (a delivery person I guess?) decided to steal it lol

don't talk to me or my son ever again

Asked my wife what she was doing on her phone this morning and she said "playing my favorite video game <3" and she was just venmo requesting money from me

Had to call 26 pharmacies this morning to find one with adderall. Got fully yelled at by one of them because apparently they are a "cancer pharmacy". My bad man maybe you should have named your store "cancer pharmacy"

Homestar Runner joke spotted in the Node.js Buffer API documentation

Try typing the word "reset" 5 times fast, you can't

I see people arguing about whether this dude broke some esoteric football rule they had to make to prevent injuries, no one in these arguments is ever like "wait does this game just suck ass"

Saw this massive pigeon on the way to the function tonight

My favorite genre of post is when people are like "Well well well, looks like people on here need their daily reminder: <insanely esoteric political sentiment that is probably responding to exactly one post>"

I've been watching some slay the spire streamers and they all radiate grad student / TA energy

At least half of all magic cards should look like this

craziest change up of living in NYC in the 2020s so far is they got rid of the adderall delivery guy and replaced him with a weed delivery guy

standing in line at the duane reade shouting "UHHH TIP YOUR PHARMACIST???" at everyone who gets serviced

MIDDLE CLICK WORKS ON THIS APP NOW

You know how everyone in college has a secret toilet on campus no one knows about that they use all the time, I'm looking for that except it's a pharmacy that has adderall for more than 1 month in a row

5 days in Florida stats recap: - Number of sea turtles seen munching on jellyfish: 1 - Number of alligators spotted: 1 - Number of dads that full on punched their teenage sons in the middle of a restaurant: 2

Bro I just wanted some ice cream

“No, you are not watching a legitimate ‘sunset’. You are watching the *sun* go *down*” - increasingly heated discussion going down at a bar in key largo right now

If you go on a group scuba dive and you aren’t one of the ones who “saw the nurse shark” you’re basically the biggest bitch in the ocean in that moment

My wife just told me I’m an “inland boi”

All diaries from the 1800s homesteaders are like Jan 3, 1825: I have never been this cold in my life. Every year I pray for death's grasp to take me Jan 5, 1825: Guess who's preggers again it's MEEEEEEEE

"my cat has the zoomies and acts crazy at night" your cat is an obligate carnivore is experiencing ketosis

Is the thing where youtubers have like 3 separate accounts they upload to actually a metrics optimization or something closer to compulsive fiddling?

replace jimmy fallon with space ghost challenge

Will never, ever call the years between 2000-2010 "the noughties". It was very clearly "the thousies"

Nah bro you're not insufferable I suffer you all the time bro

The coveted grill brush + karambit multi tool

I don't care what anyone says this humans name was Smash Mouth

watching the tracking on the seamless car approaching my apartment at the same time that truly ludicrously loud reggaeton starts playing outside