is anyone else panicking about how i haven’t finished moving

new car called the strudelbacher comes with built in strudel oven and runs on packets of icing

people are saying i will never pack a box. they are saying that i will stare into the empty cardboard shells forever. they are wrong.

putting my disgusting artifacts and keepsakes into various containers

this calls for a cherry cola

famous dog Snoopy has 4 different tv shows now. sure why not

i got pregnant by a dandelion seed

17 seconds to start microsoft teams, "the ultimate messaging app for my organization"

looking for an upstairs neighbor, must be light of foot

blinkers in the target yodie gang

Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back (PS1) (1997) 5/5

had a dream that i dropped a big piece of chocolate birthday cake on the ground and got really sad because i wanted that cake

#cdfriday this like a boomer posting the beach boys. "you guys ever heard of this one?" classic...

“these puppies are chowing!” i take off my shoes to reveal gnashing teeth at the ends of all my toes

denial of service attack? let me guess, it’s distributed? of course.

I cant come into work today I'm feeling good as fuck!

i just learned how to teleport btw

today is the 15th which means everyone i interact with at work will be asking me about a KPI dashboard that i would like to destroy

would you care to join me on a lunching expedition

updating my away status message to: got zapped by the beam that makes you really sleepy

that’s right

has anyone ever noticed that its called the Lance of Longinus spelled like “Long in us” and does that have any lore implications #evangelion

what do they hide in the sewers and pipes. why so secretive.

company that hired me to be fully remote offering to put me in a hotel for a full week near the office so that i am forced to work in person “for productivity.” what???

javascript. what a beautiful word

hey siri show me top 1000 songs featuring the lead vocalist screaming in fear and desperation

hate to do this again but our accountants hit us with a bunch of fees that we can't absorb right now, so i'm forced to do this again 🙃 ko-fi.com/sharkhugseni...

AYeooo bwumah lily why why beep beep bop buhboodle-oh woahhhh yah. (screaming) AAAAAAH!!! AAAAAAAAH!! AAAAAAH! AAAAAAH!

the vibe coded allegedly decentralized social media site is down

what an astonishing app experience the team at bluesky has created. this is worth $100 million easily

bluesky is a powerful application

they call him big ed because of his giant horse cock

hey guys i'm the billion dollar company that stole the collective creative work of the world. PLEASE PLEASE DON'T STEAL MY STUFF THOUGH THAT'S ILLEGAL

claude code leaked guys nobody download the source code okay haha promise

nah man just use graze.social or blueskyfeedcreator.com or skyfeed.app

check out my barren wasteland website it was so easy and fun to make on scrambled.page owtmelk.com

another great day to listen to Snail Mail’s Lush on cd

“thank god the mind-reading killer isn’t here” they thought. then a voice said “that’s just what i wanted you to think” and the mind reading killer started killing them. #twosentencehorror

like this tweet if money is sacred repost if its demonic

i just spilled pineapple juice all over my shirt

writing 5 minutes of material about why do pillows get so hot when you’re trying to sleep for an open mic

i heard a clatter in my kitchen. i dont have a kitchen #twosentencehorror

i should clarify that i just destroyed reddit. the whole website is gone

i just deleted reddit

i’m hearing woke is back

The blockade of Cuba, like the occupation of Palestine, is one of the defining acts of evil in the modern era. Truly a world historic crime, as vile and squalid as any excess of 20th century totalitarianism. When the time comes, our hands will be guided by necessity on behalf of every Cuban.

what kind of things should i buy at the grocery