I never get enough tea on vacation

I'm probably be sick later, but for right now it was worth it

I have to use references otherwise every hand I draw will turn out looking like a bag of worms

Please, for the love of all things holy, if you ever learn that something you posted is fake, delete it. Do not counter with "but it feels true" or "it's an exaggeration but people will know that" or any other garbage. Delete fake images and articles. We need to be able to trust reality.

Like. The. Whaaaale!!

You've probably been wondering: "How many eels is a cottage worth in 14th C. England?" This is a reasonable question. I get it. And happily, I'm here to help! I included a chart showing this kind of equivalence in an article I wrote for HistoryExtra , but here's an excerpt! 🗃️🧪

Does grenouille love her job? No.

When a snail takes a journey across the sidewalk, does it have a plan?

I had a dream last night that under my apartment building there was a secret treasure trove of abandoned stuff collected when tenants left. Home decor, electronics, music equipment, stationery, and more. But what I scampered away with was a garden statue of a snail with a gnome head! Glorious.

R.I.P.

Daily bunny no.3292 knows some froggy music

I want a French work schedule

These tracks run right along the yard of my childhood house! I've walked them many miles

I was not allowed to dress up for Halloween and absolutely no trick-or-treating I could not call boys on the phone because that was "too forward;" they had to call me Couldn't listen to current secular music because it was "poison" so I grew up on Oldies (definitely no sex or drugs there 😂)

Do not enjoy being in the branch group text begging for someone to work tomorrow. I'm a teller, this is not an on-call position. Also, IT'S FRIDAY NIGHT. Get outta here with that.

Friends...I realized this week that the contact form on my website had stopped sending inquiries to me. Curses all around. So if you reached out about a map or a piece of artwork recently & I didn't get back to you...that's why. Apologies. It's fixed now, so if you need maps and such, let me know!

Someone asked why I am doing this. I teach in a state that didn't pass a budget for education. My classroom library is full of outdated & damaged books. I am trying to create a library that kids will want to read the books from, that represent them.

Happy Easter!

If you liked the eel life cycle map I posted the other day, and you want to know more about how/why I drew it, I've written about it over on my patreon. It's free & public, so give it (and my other posts!) a read if you're curious about what goes into making maps. www.patreon.com/posts/slip-s...

The world is stupid, but I just watched a squirrel break into a car in the parking lot below me, steal a package of crackers, and escape to a nearby tree. So at least somebody is winning.

A client told me yesterday that I "smelled better than peanut butter and jelly." 🤔

It's a dangerous business, Frodo, driving with seasonal allergies

This week marks 4 years since I left my abusive husband (now ex) and filed for divorce! I was so emotionally beaten down that it was showing up physically; I was scared and unsure of myself, yet somehow I found enough strength to save myself.

It's Saturday, which is a great excuse to remind you that I've got subway-style maps for The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings, and Narnia for sale! You can get them as prints or as digital versions, and the Hobbit map looks great on a coffee mug! #LoTR #Narnia #Maps www.etsy.com/shop/Surpris...

Last night my 16yr old went to a local punk concert. When he got home, he sat for an hour with his head on my shoulder, telling me all about the show and his friends and showed me random pictures from his camera roll. I think he might like me. 💕😊

4/4: Some of my drawings are available as prints, or on shirts & mugs, at my Etsy store, here: www.etsy.com/shop/Surpris... Like this set of animals, or my very favorite grumpy raven! NB: If you like one of my drawings, and would like it on a mug, shirt, etc., let me know. We can make it happen!

It's Map Commission Thread time! Do you need a map? Or want one? I can help! I make my living drawing custom maps on commission. And I am taking commissions *right now*! There's more info at my website: surprisedeelmaps.com Most of my maps are for history books. Here are some examples! (1/5)

The thing is, they won't be satisfied doing this once. My oldest didn't even want to trap the leprechaun, so we built a fairy AirBnB, then her siblings started kindergarten, and long story short, I built multiple houses for YEARS.

I sure am glad I double-checked the text message I almost sent my manager this morning so that I could tell her that I'm sick and feel terrible as opposed to, "I feel freaky testicles."

Search your camera roll for hell

Once upon a time, I did a thing

As a bank teller, I get to decide when bills are too defaced/ damaged to remain in circulation. Somebody local has been stamping the backs of $20 bills with "Donald Trump lives here" and don't you know I send every one of those to be destroyed. Anyways...

Imagining scenarios in which my manager asks me why I'm late and I casually tell her it's because I hate it here

I can show you which janitor's closet in the Paris Opera House has a secret door that will take you to the many, many basements

Today's a great day to support some creators. Writers and artists and creatives of all sorts: reply with a link to one of your works, if you'd like. And feel free to tell us about it. Everyone: let's check through the replies and buy some creations and support some human beings.

It's 1200, and you're the Abbot of Ramsey (congrats!). At Lent your tenants come calling with their annual rents of preserved eels. - 60,000 from Welles - 4,000 from Chatteris - 125 from Little Bedford - 5260 from Wisbeck etc. So what do you do with all of these eels? 1/4 🗃️🧪

The 12yr old has discovered 1) the library app, and 2) that he can take the city bus there, and you have not met a happier camper

Do you know how tempted I am to spike my tea every day I work at this branch?

Man... even bologna is expensive

So my ex proposed to his girlfriend of 3 months today (maybe it's 4 now, we can be generous). He took her to the waterfront and enlisted the kids to tie the ring to the dog's collar and send him towards them in a glorious confluence of cringe and cliche. I think it's hilarious 😂

Hey Bluesky, could you help spread the word about my Patreon? My goal for the day is one new patron. Patrons help support my art and my existence. You'll receive positive affirmations from Felmer, etiquette advice from Mothman, and other fun posts. www.patreon.com/jeremycreature

Frogs for freedom!

yeah I’m into LOTR Loving Others and Treating them with Respect 🥰

*Announcement* I have been invited to speak at an online meeting of Cartoonists Northwest (USA) on the 21st February 2026 at 8pm GMT! You are welcome to join and hear me speak about my art and how I flog dead horses Sign up here! www.eventbrite.com/e/cartoonist...

I recently learned that the "anti-fatigue" mats at the teller stations in the main branch I'm assigned to are actually... horse stall mats.

Post a banger not in English

Pondering the meaning and motivations of the grocery store cart attendant doing his job in a tricorn hat

Look how cool this is! Art doesn't require fancy tools

Well, hello there