Lol Mitch knows what’s up 😂😂😂

Merry Christmas to the last place of sanity in the social media landscape.

I feel like Jake Paul became a boxer to retroactively blame his early YouTube antics on head injuries

A crucial step toward building a more educated society is to cease voting for individuals who shouldn’t be allowed within 500 feet of a school.

Maybe because the boyfriend is cooler?

YOUR GASLIGHTING BILL IS $340 Me: Don’t you mean my gas bill? 😅 NO, WE’VE ALWAYS CALLED IT A GASLIGHTING BILL. YOU OBVIOUSLY FORGOT.

Good morning to everyone except Benedict Arnold and his cult of Loyal Tories.

I will be there!! 🙌🏽 laist.com/news/arts-an...

This front door: Smash or Pass?

Not sure if getting this makes me trendy or nerdy. 😜

Best wood shop class ever

And just like that, i followed a woodworking channel. www.facebook.com/reel/1177025...

Finally won an argument with my girlfriend. Now I'm hiding in the witness protection program, under an alias, with a fake mustache. Send help... or pizza.

Who's your favorite Jedi? (Wrong answers only)

Start your day with laughter. 😄

Please stop saying “I don’t know who needs to hear this.” No one does. This is the internet

All Californians are required to learn how to make delicious authentic tacos, or we don’t graduate from high school. 🌮 #LittleKnownFact

Explaining to my dad that personality tests are subjective because they are solely influenced by our own perceptions & perspectives which constantly change.

One joy of middle aged life is having a senior parent join a dating site who calls every time they have a response to their fucking profile. Cuz I don’t have a life of my own so not a problem to drop everything I’m doing to hear about Barbra from Knoxville who likes bike rides & nature walks.

GIVE ME SOMETHING TO BREAK

I won tickets to a Head and the Heart concert, including VIP Meet and Greet and acoustic pre-show, from @alt947.bsky.social !! 🤩🎟️🎵

If I could nominate anyone for a Nobel Peace Prize it would be any of the over 150 visiting world leaders who remained completely stoic instead of laughing out loud AT & openly ridiculing the embarrassing idiotic ramblings of the dumbest individual to ever speak at a UN assembly.

This song meant a lot to me during some very dark days growing up. The hope would get better. And they did. In a much broader sense today, I still have hope. youtube.com/watch?v=pLfH...

If this were a normal funeral in North America there would be an emergency family meeting after deciding in which home grandpa would be placed.

Took my daughter to a matinee this afternoon. Packed house!

This is, in fact, my first rodeo 🤠🐴 #SacTownRodeo

And so it begins

I refuse! 😂😂😅

See I was raised to believe these were conservative values. I mind my business, you mind your business, we can still be friends.

Lezzzzz Goooooooo!!!!!!!

One of the most fascinating developments of my lifetime has been watching the pro-life crowd support ending vaccine mandates for school aged children. My brain is incapable of reconciling the inconsistency.

Join me in wishing a very Happy Birthday to the wonderful @tiare75.bsky.social !!!!!

Buy a St Louis Cardinals themed apartment in ballpark village & the most expensive season tickets available, then explain to @tiare75.bsky.social why I need to stay there 80+ nights a year from April until November.

She better take me somewhere

You really haven’t lived until you’ve scrubbed grass stains out of white football game pants.

Just a man watering a chestnut tree in Kyiv today. You might think: And what? I might answer: Life.

Idk how much one has to drink to forget people like this exist but I’m willing to participate in a study.

Heard all the good ones are taken but….

We should all sleep better tonight knowing the patrons of Cracker Barrel in standing up for their civil liberties preserved their way of life and for countless future generations to come. Is it smokey in here or just me?