Happy flying ant day! No thanks, flants. Card via @spellingmistakescostlives.com

Oof! Wordle 1,843 2/6 🟩⬛⬛🟩⬛ 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩

Finding it hard to reconcile the extreme mugginess with the fact that my recycling bin just blew over

Just woke up. Crikey.

How much of John Barnes' World In Motion rap could you recite by heart? I'm very much in the: You've got to hold and give But do it at the right time *mutter mutter* GET 'ROUND THE BACK camp

Welp, I'm turning in and hope not to be rudely awakened in the wee small hours. Would it be unpatriotic to say: "May the best team win"?

Seasoned some chicken with that Moroccan spice, Ra's al Ghul (editor, please check)

Not saying I watch too many medical dramas and documentaries, but as I removed the outer skin of some spring onions for dinner, I mentally called it "degloving" 💀

Related, I've recently realised my struggles with gardening were down to attempting a Barbara approach when I'm patently Margot-coded

"Effing and Jeffing": Dialogue summary of The Bear

Liven up gardening by saying "secateurs" like "Chaka Khan"

The rig I'm on has put up first aid guides that were made with AI. Wouldn't bother with CPR there, would be more concerned by the fact is head isn't connected to his body

I'm halfway through a novel that I now realise is a sequel. It's written in a historical style and I thought the narrator referring to previous writings was a clever literary device! Do I abandon it midway and read the first, or should I complete it and then treat the other as a prequel?

Pain au chocolat for breakfast because everything in life is pain or chocolate

I don't often long for a catapult, but some fucker has been wheeling a wheelie bin around and noisily dumping stuff in it since 6 am

Signs say it's bedtime. G'night!

The Persistence of Huxley AKA it's too hot for this shit

There's no stage of Helena Bonham-Carter's career when she hasn't been an absolute bonkers style icon? This from Enola Holmes 3

Benjamin Wankin' was right there

Happy Independence Day, from the god Jack Handey.

For everyone who stripped their bed this morning, it's time...

🎶 I get up when I want Except on Wednesdays When I produce a hygroscopic mucus coating my entire body to protect me from predators through what is known as

"Not ALL the single ladies" - Nuancé

Nothing more succinctly illustrates the law of diminishing returns than putting empty pistachio shells back in with the unopened ones

Better get my laundry in before it gets infused with the smell of a thousand barbecues...

Pear shaped

I've just broken my one and only pint glass, in case you see me entering a pub with a suspiciously capacious handbag any time soon.

Phew, not just me, then

Fifth anniversary 🥳

I'll just watch some TV for a little escapism... oh.

Good name, Berenice.

Ran out of ingredients for a sane dinner, so made omelette au brie et spring oignons avec pommes frîtes avec leur peaux et sauce au tomates

Maximum Pleasure Guaranteed is the original thriller that all that Harlan Coben churn wishes it was, while having flawed protagonists who behave believably and being deeply, darkly funny.

Signs say the parakeets are back in town.

I'd rather go to this "state fair" than the one in Washington.

This is a cracking listen. Dirk produces the most "visual" audio dramas you'll ever hear.

Them there English Garden at the Sebright Arms. Stonking band, give 'em a listen. Thanks to @stevemorgan68.bsky.social for the rec!

I don’t know who needs to read a 77 year-old, super-adorable tiny book from 1949 about an anthropomorphic pig family celebrating Halloween, but if you do, here you go…

Joined, and was ultimately expelled from, the Bayeux queue just to feel something. Play this instead; it's far more gratifying

How does the King keep his indigestion pills dry? With a Charles Rennie Mackintosh.

That’s Maggie Smith isn’t it?

Started my self assessment, lads. HMRC shouldn't make giving them money such hard work.

I've been invited onto a podcast. I expect Andy Warhol would have had something to say about that.

Dramatic skies before and after the 3.4 minutes of rain we were granted

Inspired by the ubiquitous "James McAvoy sweating" GIF to rewatch Wanted (2008). It led me to to recall a contemporary review: "In which Angelina Jolie steers a car using only her vagina."

In a Close Encounters situation, I'd be the one who made it all the way to Devil's Tower but got gassed before I could make it to the landing pad, missing the aliens altogether

I'm going. If you like dinosaurs, you should too.

Just checking in on your wet bulb temperature, fam 🌡

Not now, broken freezer full of rapidly defrosting food! The fridge isn't looking too healthy either...