Is it too late at night for a crisp sandwich? Stand by for exciting insights at 2 am.

Welp, he did have a certain reputation

Is it my imagination or have a lot of TfL bus stops had their countdown timers removed? Seems a bit of a backwards move when you could build your own from Amazon bits for a few quid.

This is certainly something

Today I bent over and tied my shoelaces without screaming for the first time in the seven weeks since I broke a vertebra 🙌🏻

Vet receptionist on the phone: "What's your pet's name and your surname? Martin Lewis? Really? Can he give me financial advice? Oh, he's a golden retriever. I'll take that as a no."

We've all been there

Wut

Both Charles Dance and David Bradley have been cast as elderly people for so long, I'm occasionally surprised they're still at it

Here to tell you that watching the surgery scenes in del Toro's Frankenstein with a subtext of "Is it cake?" adds an unexpected comedic element

Do I have plans? I have plans. Gonna get tipsy on spiced rum and Coke, watch Frankenstein and cuddle my cat.

"Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful."

"Hey Google, can you train cats to fetch socks that have fallen behind the airing cupboard water tank?"

I see Prime has some quality content lined up. "After losing his parents, a priest travels to China, where he inherits a mysterious ability that allows him to turn into a dinosaur. At first horrified by this new power, a sex worker convinces him to use it to fight crime. And ninjas."

You could say he... spiralled

Any advice for a self-employed woman who wants to ruin a workplace?

It's no Charlie Big Potatoes

Welp, that's a whole non-weekend of nothing ahead of me. At least I'll get the house clean. Maybe *sigh*

This is a really hard day and I want to just add as WIRED's politics editor -- WIRED's politics reporting isn't going anywhere. We are very much here and won't stop. Please continue to read and support us - canceling your subscription to WIRED is not standing in solidarity with our journalists.

About to cast Fireball 1

Playing our own version of #Taskmaster

Lovely throwback to my days writing for Custom PC, a feature about the Hitchhiker’s text adventure.

A woman who is very senior in emerging technology at a big corporation called me today. She'd seen on Linkedin that Im looking for a job and wanted to see how I was doing and if she could help. I met her briefly two years ago when I moderated a panel she was on. Blown away by her kindness 🥹

I don't care how many puppies you've got, I'm not getting in

Me: *judging neighbours for having Christmas decorations up already* Also me: 🥳

I'm being advertised seasonal jobs. Wonder if there's a vacancy for Santa's postmenopausal elf?

De-goblinned myself for nobbut a Zoom call and a Tescos run

Collins Dictionary's "word" of the year is "vibe coding", using AI to convert natural language into code. My former systems analyst and software tester self is quietly screaming.

My Thanksgiving cactus is a bit previous this year

The what bungalows now? Presumably when you want a room in the right wing

Having some Kombucha, because nothing says self care like drinking gone-off milk

How do you stop yourself going full goblin mode when you're freelancing from home? Asking for my comfy yet stylish wardrobe, which this morning witnessed me putting on sweats for the fifth day running

I have two - TWO - of these gorgeous original A4 meadow hare linoprints by my mum, Jo, to give away to a couple of lucky people here on Bluesky today. Rules are simple: to be in with a chance to win, you just have to repost this piece I wrote about Jo and her art: www.tom-cox.com/the-magic-ro...

Do those velcro strips that are supposed to stop your sofa cushions slipping work? Or do they still slip but with an added comedy farting sound?

Teen Vogue has been folded into its parent title, laying off many staff members including its politics editor. Meanwhile, Vogue is desperately grasping for fashion stories in political news.

"IT: Welcome To Derry Girls" A malevolent entity in the form of a circus clown doesn't stand a chance against a bunch of feisty Catholic schoolgirls

This is beautiful 🥹

BBC Four repeating the #Arena about the Chelsea Hotel is as good an excuse as any to roll out the amazing fact that the last guest to leave the Chelsea Hotel was Reg Hollis from The Bill archive.nytimes.com/cityroom.blo...

I regret to inform you that due to a lack of impulse control I am now 90% potato crisp

There’s no screening for ovarian cancer and it’s really difficult to spot: you can’t squidge your ovaries in the shower to check for lumps. Also it’s very good at masquerading at other things, like IBS and diverticulitis. Please take a look at this list of symptoms - and share if you can.

It doesn't count as "having the heating on" if you just put it on for an hour here or there instead of relying on the timer.

I may not have done six impossible things before breakfast today, but I have achieved four quite difficult things by lunchtime.

One of these days it won't take me eight to ten working days to settle down to sleep from the time I decide to head to bed. TODAY IS NOT THAT DAY

*throwing my mouldy old conker collection away* I should call him.

What's it like in your head?

Wonder what it's like to be one of those people who tidies up as they go rather than finding themselves amid a maelstrom of utter domestic entropy every few weeks? *sigh*

Stew II. Beef and Guinness. I may have peaked too early.

Coco. Every time 😭😭😭💀💀💀