Just watched the final episode of Small Prophets and I've never been more engaged and enthralled. Signs say there'll be more, too 🤞🏻

Just sayin'

Accidentally put my pull-on bra on backwards

I'm so tired Nadhim Zahawi walks in the road to avoid me

It's Friday the 13th and a black cat has crossed my path

This illustration is *chef kiss*

I need someone to talk me out of buying this emotional support Velociraptor

The biggest tell that I was brought up during the Cold War is that for years I chronically undercooked boiled eggs because of that four-minute warning joke

🎶I'll be eating you, when the bombs starts to fall. I'll be eating you, since I've turned cannibal. I'll be eating you, so there's nowt you can do.🎶

I dreamt I was staying in New York and woke to the sound of helicopters. I looked out the hotel window and saw a fleet of battleships going down the Hudson followed by all the Disney cruise ships. You could tell because they had Disney castles on deck 🤷🏼‍♀️

Wonder what caused this sudden vacancy?

Always ensure you take the proper precautions around folk music

Happy birthday to one of my favourite haters, Charles Darwin

There aren't many benefits to being my age, but no longer getting breakouts should be one. My skin has other ideas, however, and is currently throwing a teenager-style tantrum.

The Compare The Meekat ad where Sergei strips off as he strolls through a stately home would be a lot creepier if the song played was Murder On The Dancefloor and would make me rethink his relationship relationship with Aleksandr...

It's trying bloody hard, though

Me: I should wear a skirt and tights more often My cat: Splendid, somewhere new to hide and a means of climbing

Anyone else's cat just sit on their crossed foot? Just mine?

"Never talk to me or my terrestrialism again"

Yes! The Spider-Verse one again delivering to the people what they want

Le kilt est arrivée!

Me hearing a woodpecker from my window

I swear that every time I remove the washing machine detergent drawer to clean it, I take 27 attempts to get it back in, throw it across the room in frustration, watch an instructional video, scream "BUT I WAS DOING THAT!" do exactly the same again and... it just slides in. FFS

I know this isn’t LinkedIn, but I’d be remiss if I missed a trick. I am open to work, as they say. I can write or edit the shit out of pretty much anything, particularly science and technology stuff. If you hear of any jobs, freelance bits, or one-off writing gigs, please do bear me in mind.

Found all the raisins in my muesli clumped together like a raisin rat king

They don’t often post on here so I thought I’d bring this to your attention, from Young Fathers. Proud of them 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿

Dinosaurs And Non-Dinosaurs xkcd.com/3204/

Robert Reich here explaining far more eloquently what I've been muttering about for the past few years. AI isn't making money for anyone except a handful of billionaires who don't need it

Every bloody thing I'd normally do to avoid Valentine's Day - cinema, art galleries, museums, ramen restaurants - has a Valentine's special this year. Where's safe to hide away from it all?

RIP Auntie Joyce 💔 Please hug a loved one and tell them how much they mean to you.

Someone posted about "curling under the covers" and I've been watching too much Winter Olympics to parse that

Quote post with a photo of yours that would make a good album cover

There has been at least one shark in a Super Bowl commercial for the past 12 years. Tonight we’re going for 13! Keep an eye out.

Went to see my aunt today, the last remaining member of my parents' generation of my family. Chances are I won't see her again, but very glad I got to talk to her today. My parents, their siblings and spouses once numbered 20.

I totally get why drinks bottles have attached screw lids, but they're so fiddly to fully close, I manage to have them leak over my bag, pocket or clothes every time.

A very chatty Franglais family with three small children sat next to me on the train with two members standing. I offered to move so they could sit together but they declined. Meaning I had to pretend to be disembarking to move as what I was actually asking for was permission to politely escape them

There was a glowing yellow orb hovering ominously above the horizon when I opened the curtains this morning, but it had gone before I had a chance to alert the authorities.

The new National Rail "On the train, you can" ad is at least realistic about your chances of getting a seat.

Wordle 1,694 3/6 🟩🟩⬛⬛🟩 🟩🟩🟨⬛🟩 🟩🟩🟩🟩🟩 Crikey 😳

It's been a blah day, but at least I've had three different types of crisps 👍🏻

Without naming your job, tell me something you say over and over again at work. "Tackling complex problems classical computers struggle with"

If you haven't seen The Woman King, it's on Channel 4 now. Viola Davis is phenomenal.

I regret to inform you that the party house is at it again. Presumably the parents this time as it's mostly 80s stuff. I thought they'd give it a rest between New Year and summer, but oh no. Just keep your sound system indoors, lads. I'd be mortified if anyone in the next street could hear my music.

Tentative whoop ☔️ BBC News - When will it stop raining in the UK? - BBC Weather www.bbc.co.uk/weather/arti...

I don't watch much sport, but it seems like monumentally bad design to put subtitles at the top over the score when they're at the bottom for dramas. It's impossible to see just how much Wales is losing to England by... #sixnations

I tried that app that flashes your phone camera flash into your closed eyes until you hallucinate and I can confirm it's every bit as bad an idea as it sounds.

I've been searching for a black maxi kilt ever since the latest season of The Traitors started. Just at I'd given up all hope, this affordable one from Tu Clothing came back in stock in my size. Please congratulate me.

What a load of pollards

Childfree people already subsidise families by paying taxes that pay for schools and children's medical care and are happy to do so. No need to penalise us further when we put less demand on public services and have a lower carbon footprint.