ever since i was a child i always wanted to be a generic mech pilot, come across the protagonist, yell "I won't lose!" and say "tch ... !" and "This girl ... !!" until she impales me, there is a close up of my yelling, i explode into pink flames and i am forgotten after 3 episodes

Teiothee Chalamet

just learned akb48 can ball sakurazaka46 you have 24 hours to respond

WOW they named a street in Lexington after the University of Kentucky's own Riley Gaines and her achievements!

these Class 6 team trial uma trainers are absolute demons - what do you mean my usual 570k team only got 370k points in a round?

here's an artist rendition of what my innovation will look like

after months of research, i've come up with an innovation that will revolutionize track and field and usher in a brand new era: have the option to run races clockwise

i miss when anime songs were unapologetically otaku-centered. like sure Yoasobi or Higedan openings are great but sometimes I just want to rock out to some real Dork Shit

reading Faust and i've already had to look up 4 words and i'm only on page 2 of the introduction fml i'm such a philistine

The Eddie Murphy one from Trading Places is an all-timer

trying to figure out if my vintage-loving friends sent me one of her latest thrift store jewelry finds --- or if she is telling me that her bf proposed

Instagram Reels is great if you want to see the same 4 semi-racist joke comments over and over and over

oh yeah got another good instagram ad

to this day I don't know if the slang my dorm mate used was actual real Chicago slang or if it was shit he made up because he was perpetually stoned out of his gourd

60 years ago today, mild-mannered jim bowl was bitten by a radioactive spider

so far tonight bad bunny has sung more reggaeton songs than the patriots and seahawks combined

Kid Rock lip synced his entire performance at the Turning Point USA Half Time show

De-aged Robert Deniro: are you talkin to me? De-aged Sylvester Stallone: yo it wasn’t me, maybe it was Adrian De-aged Urkel: did iiiiiiii do that? Voiceover, done by an AI Gilbert Gottfried: Plasmax Services! buying blood and sperm for over 60 years!

lmao Kid Rock was lip syncing for the entire klan halftime show and not even well 😭

oh is there a sportsball on? (a 1997 Mitsubishi Eclipse crashes through my living room and kills me instantly)

oh my god

now watching

when did everyone in NYC learn how to play mahjong? was i busy that weekend or out of town or something?

It’s really weird for some corners of the media to do a whole “the Epstein files are a moral panic that has gone too far” thing when no one has faced any sort of punishment and doesn’t sound like they’re going to.

woke agnes digital be like

it's unbelievable to me that someone could actually be a trillionaire. i think most of us have trouble internalizing how much money that truly is. let me put it in simple terms for you: a trillion dollars is three million dollars

thinking about Beijing Bicycle again

still cracking up at the sovereign citizen I met at the dive on tuesday 😭😭 he was complaining to me that nobody in NYC dances anymore (true) and telling me his plan for rebuilding the country "one dance floor at a time?" "fuck yeah sister - one dance floor at a goddamn time"

there's people skiing down the williamsburg bridge

Huge scandal that Minneapolis has been crawling with terrorists this whole time. They've been living among us undercover as poets and nurses. And would've continued to, had it not been for the work of our bravest child kidnappers

general strike is not enough the warsaw ghettos need an uprising

The guy that runs the Reddit where people post about patting their cat on the butt like bongos has put his foot down

first pull in a month and i get the 3* 🥰

Stephen Miller and JD Vance are inseparable from President Donald Trump at Davos this year. Constantly tightly flanked by his two closest advisors, he’s sporting a fashionable new pair of sunglasses and looking healthier than ever

hearing that on his deathbed donald trump tried to receive the light of islam but couldn't recite the shahada. so hes in hell now

day 81 of the baseball offseason

thanks to XHS i've learned that china has an entire city of goofballs - Tianjin netizens keep saying "tianjin is the florida of china" - but their shenanigans are cheeky and fun, while florida's shenanigans are cruel and tragic

Mamdani: I am in support of abolishing ICE… I'm tired of waking up every day and seeing a new image of someone being dragged out of a car, dragged out of their home, dragged out of their life.

if you block enough advertisers Zuck starts showing you the secret *good* ads

Nike: removes tech bro from leadership, immediately rebounds everyone else should do this

guess i'm an anime girl now - what is this ahoge

watching football