checking my son's ongoing nap in the daycare app and pumping my fist in the air

lol spotify is now forcing music video versions of songs, which in the case of cameron winter's "love takes miles," is lucas hedges screaming the wrong lyrics out of tune. cool!

Something I think about a lot is the death of Horny but not Porny media for dudes. I wonder if Maxim magazine and E's Wild On were secretly keeping people from plummeting into radicalized incel echo chambers.

To me there’s no more embarrassing behavior than driving like you’re in a hurry. Get your shit together, loser bitch.

You’re laughing. Our obese stupid senile pedophile president is trying to barricade himself in his winter palace after sinking the nation into an empire shattering conflict he cannot win and you’re laughing.

While I’m deeply grateful for the availability and precision of THC consumables, I remain nostalgic for the days where an acquaintance could give me a brownie that would absolutely obliterate my entire day.

First messaging misstep of his administration tbh

lol. lmao, even.

Anyways here’s

Excited for the World Cup to universally confirm something that many people already know: the United States is now a third world country.

today’s flea market find: picked up MIRACLEMAN #2 out of a cardboard box, found out on the drive home that MIRACLEMAN #1 was tucked in the poly bag behind it!

Living next to a dachshund has radicalized me against dogs entirely

This is a lot especially given what Trump et al are up

I may as well reshare it myself 😇

Not me doing the leg day wobble three days later

It's important to remember that, yes, sometimes good things still happen. www.dailymail.com/news/article...

I do not have the strength to look at my play time for Pokopia.

The song is literally about how he stutters.

Want to make some money? Open a decent gym (a Steam Room Gym, not a Rolling Tires in a Warehouse Gym) on the east side of Atlanta.

howard stern: you show up in L.A., you're 5 inches tall, nobody wants to talk to you, you can't get past an initial audition. then you go out for stuart little and they say, yeah, you're about the right size, but we want a mouse. that had to absolutely crush you. geico gecko: it was tough, howard

who are these mustaches for

hell yes www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-43...

Yesterday I saw a wrapped UGA Cybertruck, which is an expensive way to disclose that you’re a sex offender.

Breezy, positive little newsletter from Austin, who came to my baby’s birthday party and is kind to animals.

This season of Top Chef is like Since 1977, Chuck E. Cheese has been serving pizzeria classics in a lively, musical atmosphere that brings out the inner child in all of us. For today’s quickfire challenge, you’ll be cooking a personal pizza… on an air hockey table.

TREND ALERT: cunty little bandannas

can i point something obvious out? following the pope unquestioningly is kind of the whole point of catholicism?

instagram should tag users on peptides

It was really rude for the IRS to process my tax payment on 4/20.

every time i feel like we've found some kind of parenting rhythm, our baby launches a perfectly timed tantrum campaign that returns me to desperation and panic, it is extremely funny

As both a major stoner + a major gardener, I am deeply sick of seeing "gardening" as a algorithm-dodging euphemism for weed online. Terms like that + "unalived" + "seggs" are already ceding power to Big Brother y'all!!!

There’s no saving this country. You need to be cheering for its complete destruction.

rip tim apple

Good morning, please enjoy my @mcsweeneys.net debut: www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/new...

This is a strip club in College Park.

The Soviets sent a bicycle

Seltzer people: we just want plain.

I liked THE CHRISTOPHERS. Breezy, focused, and intimate in scale. It’s like Himbo Tàr. Late Soderbergh is real AMC A-List shit: always worth seeing in a theatre but not always worth revisiting later. Keep them coming.

This is a 30 Rock joke

there's a group of million dollar houses in ormewood park that are blocking public access to the beltline and i'm pretty sure they're going to get funny gamesed

There used to be an appropriate penalty for corrupting the youth of Athens.

For one tiny example, listen to this 30-second fragment where each man pops in on a different beat, whirring together intricately like the pistons of an engine or the gears of a music box — then, miraculously, slowing down and gently coming to rest, still in time: music.youtube.com/watch?v=ptbd...

Is Dungeon Crawler Carl for people who eat paint chips? It's giving Ready Player One vibes.

clavicular man's laughter

my tax situation can only be described as ruinous

There's an episode of Fresh Air called "Have we been reading Toni Morrison wrong" in which a Harvard professor gives the most standard readings of Toni Morrison I've ever heard?

kinda funny how Republican voters are inarguably happier when a Dem is president. they don’t actually want to be in charge of shit, they want to roll coal and whip themselves into a frenzy over wholly imaginary liberal tyranny. now they’ve caught the car and it fuckin sucks