There is only one way I can see NATO remaining relevant and that is to rename it ZATO, Zack's Amazing Treaty Organisation. That would ensure everyone knows the most important aspect of global peace: it's all about meeeeee!

Modesty is a virtue. To be humble is golden. But... It's all about meeeeee!

He's got a big mouth, that's all. No substance, or gravitas.

Thank you, Rich! I accept any and all well deserved praise! It's great to see you realise how essential my hypnotic social media posting is for world peace! After all, it's all about meeeeee!

Insincere?! Allow me to persuade you otherwise... Look into my eyes, don't look around the eyes, you're under! Now, listen carefully, it's all about meeeeee!

Yeah, why hasn't the elected leader of one of the world's biggest economies prioritised insulting a madman on social media? It's not like he's got to balance grown up diplomacy or hoping not to upset the maddest leader of the free world in history for fear of needless economic sanctions! Wtf?!

Never mind the policies - it's all about meeeeee!

Great that Corbynite loons send you FOUR posts calling you a tw@ if you say sonething hurty about Zack #notacult

Today is a bank holiday, which is great and I think there should be more of them. So, when I'm Prime Minister, I'll tax the banks so much that they'll basically have no money left whatsoever, meaning they might as well not even open for business, so we'll have bank holidays all the time!

Oh, yes, I definitely can. "Look into my eyes. Don't look around the eyes. You're under!"

We definitely didn't stop trusting politicians because they were full of empty promises, such as being able to increase the size of a woman's breasts through the power of hypnosis! 😉

Has anyone actually tried persuading Vladi, as I call him, to get rid of his nukes? That's just one of my brilliant ideas! Other include unilaterally leaving NATO and melting down all of the armed forces' weapons to make statues of meeeeee!

Only £20?! Got to be worth five times that, surely! greenparty-shop.co.uk/product/zack...

My three hopes for the future are, that people will: 1) Love me 2) adore me 3) worship me. My three concerns are that people might not: 1) Love me 2) adore me 3) worship me.

My loyal fans are often deluded and frequently unpleasant? Frankly, that's putting it mildly!

Absolute rubbish! If anyone is going to take the Green Party back to sectarian irrelevance it's going to be meeeeee!

"Populism before principal?" I think I may have just found the perfect three word slogan for the Green Party's next general election campaign!

Remember when Corbyn fans got lots of stick for being obnoxious arseholes online? Well, they're MY obnoxious arseholes now, which is fine, cos it's all about meeeeee!

Even if the graphics on the tee shirt look like AI generated slop that goes for a fiver on Temu, the main thing is that it's all about meeeeee!

Any suggestions that I'll be making Green Party policy on the hoof, coming up with whatever is in my head at that moment and spouting absolute nonsense are, of course, completely accurate! It's all about meeeeee!

She's still not the best and most loved populist crank, though, amirite?!

Any comparisons between me and a man whose desperate attention seeking knows no bounds, who is prepared to say absolutely anything to please his power base, who displays vanity beyond all measure are... completely valid! It's all about meeeeee!

Breaking news: I have had enough of being in the spotlight, so I shall be resigning all of my political roles and retiring from public life with immediate effect... April fool! I'll never let my adoring fans down, because it's all about meeeeee!

I enjoy myself every single second of the day, because, every single second of the day, I know that my adoring fans are all talking about meeeeee!

Any suggestion I joined the Greens because the Lib Dems wouldn't give me a safe parliamentary seat, as I demanded, is outrageous, disgraceful and absolutely true!

Ak-che-wal-ee, I think you'll find I've never progressed past 5th form politics, so the joke's on you!

Make Polanski Famous Again!

It's all about little old meeeeee!!!

Yay! I think it's time we all agreed that I'm absolutely wonderful!

Any comparisons between me and Corbyn are clearly false. I can categorically state that Jeremy, a friend and a man of principle, has never, ever earned a living claiming to be able to make women's breasts larger through the power of hypnosis!

Anyone who says I'm not the kind of serious politician this country needs to sort out its biggest and hardest problems is clearly mistaken!

Yep, I'd say that just about the long and short of it!

You will ignore my endlessly disingenuous mouth parping

I'll say absolutely anything if it reminds people that it's all about meeeeee!

Are you really suggesting that someone who changes their name from David Paulden to something that makes him sound a bit more interesting and then offers to help a woman increase the size of her breasts through the power of hypnosis is unserious?! 😜

"A plan without hope sounds bureaucratic to me". Does that sound like complete bollocks to you, too? It does to me, too! Who cares?! I'm famous now and that's all that matters!!!

Even though the book title "Hope is here, it's all of us" it should really be called "Read my book, it's all about meeeeee!"

If I was in the cabinet, nothing would ever go wrong, because I'm perfect! However, if there was a problem with my colleagues I am 100% confident of solving it with just a few magic words - "Look into my eyes, don't look around the eyes... You're under!"

Looks like Ed Davey and I are the most loved politicians in the UK. So, how will I ensure it's me getting the keys to Number 10? Look into my eyes...!

There was no more room on the leaflets for the environment, because they were already full of lovely photos of meeeeee!

Now the Green Party is stuffed full with my loony left entryist fans, I'll be reshaping party policy to reflect our priorities: 1) All failed actors with fake names to receive a basic income of £5000 per month. 2) Free NHS hypnosis therapy for breast enlargement. 3) It's all about meeeeee!

Here's a winning policy to put me into Number 10: as Prime Minister, I will provide a free portrait of everyone's favourite politician for every living room in the UK. Who is that politician? It's meeeeee!

Look into my eyes!

Zack Polanski is going to give the economy huge jugs

Zack Polanski used to be a brilliant hypnotist. For enough money he could, after hypnotising her, make a woman’s breasts bigger. To grift vulnerable women like that you’ve got to be a cunt at the very core of your being.

£5 £10 £20 £50

The Green Party membership hasn't changed. It always has and always will love meeeeee!

I'm fine with ridicule, as long as you're all still talking about meeeeee!

You lot have quite a dim view of me, don't you?! It's fine. I don't mind, as long as you're still talking about meeeeee!

Evidence is also growing that I love it when everyone talks about meeeeee!