It's not Christmas any more, it's not new year yet, but I'm fucked if I'm not ending the day with a small cheeseboard

Last year I was helping out with a complex, high-impact project that my colleagues had decided to name "App To App" and in every single meeting I just had this guy looping round in my head

This Playmobil figure just gave me a bootleg of Fall B-sides

Look at yourselves, Brussels sprout enjoyers. Gaze upon your failure.

This travel agency has sent me a paper brochure every month since I booked my honeymoon, like, a decade ago, despite moving house in the interim. I've stopped being annoyed and now I'm really more impressed with their tenacity than anything.

ANNIHILATION (2018)

another robot highlight for 2025: man wearing humanoid mocap suit kicks himself in the balls

I see all you arseholes complaining about the state of Christmas tv as if there wasn't a new No More Jockeys Christmas special out youtu.be/3MwjcQ2s1Bo?...

Look at you, I bet you think you're the

The CCH is short for Christmas Cheer (Holidays)

Fair play to Elton John, "Welcome to my Christmas song" is an absolute all-timer line to start a Christmas song with

Being a True Dad, I was determined to optimise the charging regime on the drive down to my parents' to minimise charging time on the road. I may have over-optimised.

'tis the season to get ☃️🌲🎁 𝓓𝓮𝓫𝓲𝓵𝓲𝓽𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓰𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓻𝓲𝓬 𝓭𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓻𝓮𝓼𝓼 🎁🌲☃️, apparently

Absolute dork-ass loser behaviour

It's the most wonderful day of the year (the day off work with the kids in nursery)

The parents' Christmas letter is here, and I'm not saying it's not a vintage year, but the lead story is about my mum trying to reset her Nectar card password

An outstanding anecdote about the godfather of quantum physics nearly dying in world war 2 due to his gigantic bonce

To be honest I don't think that Tom Cruise of all people is in a position to complain about this

If we're cancelling children's authors can we do Lucy Cousins next, for crimes against scansion

Year 4 of my ongoing campaign to get people to acknowledge that Low's Just Like Christmas is not a Christmas song. It's clear in the lyrics that while the trip being described bears certain similarities to Christmas, it was in fact not like Christmas at all. IT'S RIGHT THERE IN THE LYRICS PEOPLE

I've got a boring take on AI but I really feel like it could be more tedious and pious. What could I do? Ooh I know - invoke Lord of the fucking Rings

Every time I'm in a restaurant I remember Kevin McAleer's reply to a waiter who told him the Soup Of The Day. "Where there any other contenders?" "Um, no?" "A hollow victory, then".

Setting up my new ministry baptising woodland animals is surprisingly complicated, so I'm starting out with small, one-off jobs, just tipping a doe into the water

People say hiring in tech right now sucks but I just got cold-called to apply for a job that I do not do for a salary less than half of my current position, nature is healing

It is actually bonkers that they keep doing this. It's absolutely not impartial to refuse to use the phrase trans women in any coverage of them.

Every morning my Alexa wakes me up with a fact of the day, which appear to be… 80% explaining the activities of the IRA in this day in history?

Love to get texts from the father-in-law

Garden's looking nice

I would imagine Shamima Begun would beg to fucking differ

can't stop watching this clip of a tesla Optimus teleoperator taking his headset off before properly logging out the robot

- hello, IT support, for an upcoming part I need to play a middle-aged man who combines an imposing physicality with a sense of deep soulfulness - have you tried turning it d'onofrio again

We put the Christmas stool up early this year.

7am Sunday: putting the cheap fromage frais into the expensive fromage frais pot to trick my one-year-old into eating it

"this raises issues about journalistic transparency and professional standards!" I continue to insist as I slowly shrink and transform into a corn cob

oh noooooo

This is a nice ambient album, made inadvertently very funny by the Japanese producer adding texture by overlaying some random radio broadcasts to add texture, which happen to be news reports about Ed Miliband music.apple.com/gb/album/pla...

Your Party are approaching the final form of a far-left political party: a machine designed to create maximum factionalism and bickering about arcane policy, without even the hint of interest in policy or power

A deeply, deeply, profoundly silly person

MY MUM: I got your nephew a Titanic Lego set for his birthday. ME, EYES AGLOW, HOVERING FOUR INCHES ABOVE THE FLOOR AS I BECOME THE SPIRIT OF THE DAD JOKE INCARNATE: oh, how did it go down?

Man Who Thought Fleetwood Mac’s ‘The Chain’ Was Over In For Thrill Of His Fucking Life https://theonion.com/man-who-thought-fleetwood-macs-the-chain-was-over-in-for-thrill-of-his-fucking-life/

It's so delightful to see Charlie Cox getting increasing plaudits for his role in Expedition 33 and continually needing to find new ways to politely say "I barely remember doing this" www.eurogamer.net/clair-obscur...

"so I don't know what your fucking problem is"

Let's go check out what the incisive intellectual big brain of Reform has to say and oh hang on he's just wanging on boringly about the same four internet-brained talking points as the rest of them

Who is this *for*? Some people want them to be deported immediately, some people want them to be able to integrate and live a good life here... Who's the audience that really wants them just kind of hanging round?

Why not start your day with some unadulterated horror

Everyone on the timeline has been going mad about the cricket so I went to check what's been happening and it turns out it's just a bunch of people playing cricket

I just can't conceive the psychology of someone who would build a tool that would do this. Would you not be fucking *mortified* to ask someone to build something that says this about you?