I decided to read the Keanu Reeves/China Mieville novel and if you were curious, here's one sentence from it, perhaps the worst sentence I have ever seen committed to paper

For better or worse text-to-speech technology is going to be absolutely ubiquitous in video games in the next few years, so this is a bit of an awkward precedent to set

Absolutely massive day for the 6 music dad community: Marks and Spencer have started selling selvedge jeans

Exciting news as the eldest (4) announces he has chosen his names for his future children: Zebediah for a girl, and if it's a boy, Light Pollution.

Slight crossed wires at work led to someone thinking I'm taking time off to visit Paint-de-en-Suite

ME (sobbing, folorn, bereft of hope): I don't think I'll ever know what a vindicated iguana looks li- THE NEW YORK TIMES:

Lord forgive me for Traitorsposting, but the finale proved that the best strategy is just to pick somebody and very loudly go after them like a bloodhound. People who try to get too clever invariably trip over their own dicks.

Reading the Radiohead gig reviews

Good evening to everyone except for the person who just arranged an emergency lunchtime meeting to discuss whether a line of text should be 14px or 16px tall

I've spent two hours trying to work out if my dishwasher is permanently broken and I've reached the conclusion "Well it fucking is now"

You should have heard the howls of complaints when an actually functional shop appeared in our village. "Oooh but what will we do if Wullie's shop shuts?" I don't know, go to the new place that takes cards and is willing to sell you a pint of milk after 4pm?

This is so fucking good, as you would hope and expect music.apple.com/gb/album/ico...

You constantly see people On Here responding to anything bad-looking with "Ugh AI is the worst, look at it ruining something else" as if the idea of doing lazy, bad work was invented in 2022

The youngest loves Maisie books, which are generally quite pleasant, except for the artist's inexplicable habit of putting this dead-eyed fucking nightmare in the background in each book for no reason

I replaced a power socket in the utility room today, which went from "hmm" to "huh" to "err" to "how on earth has this house not burnt down already"

(Wayne coyne voice) Scientists are racing for the cure that is the teeth

Enough CO2 and none of these things will be a problem any more, so it's true from that point of view

Incredible that the racist football thugs were like "Here is an out for you, Kier Starmer", and Kier Starmer is like "No, no, we are entirely, explicitly on the side of the racist football thugs, we are moving heaven and earth to make sure that we get some racist football thugs in Birmingham"

You know what, I actually really like gratuitously internet-enabled devices. I'm glad that my washing machine can talk to the internet. I think it's neat. I just hooked up a wifi-enabled towel rail and I'm absolutely delighted.

SMALL THINGS THAT MAKE ME CONCERNED THAT MY FATHER IN LAW MAY SECRETLY BE A MURDEROUS PSYCHOPATH: when he makes beans on toast, it's two slices of toast stacked one on top of the other, with beans put on top of that. Oddly disquieting to see.

So many football people are being like "I mean, what do you expect football fans to do, NOT terrorise cities in acts of racist violence?"

Thanks for helping me with that data analysis, computer. Now help me honk one off.

Not even pretending they're not using hunger as a weapon of war at this point www.theguardian.com/world/2025/o...

There is nothing - absolutely nothing - that my father in law will not respond to with a cursory thumbs up

It's definitely a choice to make your local pregnancy club look like a scene from a found-footage Ari Aster film

The notable thing is that he's not at all a libertarian, that's the absolute opposite of his schtick, so it's very clearly not a principled stance about "You should be able to do offensive but legal things", it's a barely concealed "I support this specific thing"

Blood Incantation in Glasgow fucking ripped. New career goal: become obelisk designer for death metal bands

You know, I can't help but feel a little responsible - if I had been a bit more brutal when I was editing Stephen's work on the student paper, we could have all been saved from this

The Conservative Party, where saying "I think the ECHR is alright actually" is a sacking offence, but this is fine

Apparently if I sign in to Acrobat I can now chat with my PDF documents. Have a quick 121 with a VAT invoice for some trousers. A brief tête-à-tête with a market report. Perhaps some quality time over a lazy dinner with my new garden designs. I think I'm losing my fucking mind.

Devastated to discover, after 29 years of pronouncing the Tortoise song Djed as "dee-jayed", that you actually say it like "Jed".

Nice to see yer da keeping himself busy

Tortured acrostics and "hey uhh we'll do the ice thing as well" - everyone in the British right is trying to do a bargain basement cosplay of us republican batshittery and it's not even particularly subtle

Deeply embarrassing, anti-reality bullshit

Nice to see the local Facebook group living up to its ordinary form by moaning about a solar farm going up on... the most bog-standard fields you have ever seen in your life.

Feels like they're going in harder against Andy Burnham than they are Nigel Farage at the moment www.theguardian.com/politics/liv...

I have no real issue with the idea of a national ID card - can see how it can make operating some public services easier - but I really fucking resent the idea that I have to have one for the sole purpose of helping the government look tough about immigration www.theguardian.com/politics/202...

This is the obvious problem with the "we just need to do what Farage wants and then focus back on what's important to us" argument. There's always, always a next thing. Cede the ground on migration today and tomorrow you're debating mass deportation. www.theguardian.com/politics/liv...

You know what, I'm just glad they're all having fun

My favourite Redford film is Three Days of the Condor, where he's meant to be playing a nerdy, introverted, academic back-office kind of guy and he just cannot help looking like he could bring a female elephant to orgasm from sixty paces

A fun little way to give yourself an anxiety attack is to think about 2029 when the country is going to decide between a bloodless centrist party or a well-funded group of incredibly dangerous reactionaries, with a deeply unrepresentative electoral system and very few constitutional constraints

Updating my prior principle, "Everyone should leave Twitter" to "Everyone should leave Twitter except for Ed Davey"

My team when I get to the end of the meeting and say "OK, let's finish early and get forty seconds back"

Just realised that I accidentally posted a link to a Richard Osman profile. To my followers, I apologise, I know I let you down, and I promise to do better.

SHAFT!

The story here is very clearly "failson failed actor fails to renovate ancestral home, fails to meet terms of agreement with council" www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2025...

My boys like me making pictures of them with ChatGPT, like this one of them sailing round in a laundry basket. It's kind of mind-blowing how they can see this thing that would be an unimaginable miracle like four years ago and their main reaction is UGHH why is it doing it so SLOWWWW