Right, well, thanks for clearing that up

POV: you have a two-year-old.

Venus and Serena, or as they're collectively known, the Tennisy Williams

“Welp, that was fun, but we’ve got our fill,” the report read

My mother-in-law once showed me a picture of her and my FiL when they were in their early 20s, about 50 years prior. I was pretty sure I recognised the jumper my FiL was wearing, for some reason. I looked up, and he was wearing it.

Big fan of this lovely kids' picture book starting with a bit saying "this book is inspired by me having arguments with strangers on the internet"

Apologies for sincereposting, but exploring some woods with a four-year-old is about the most wholesome delightful thing you can do with a hot Saturday afternoon.

Off to see my favourite genre of film this evening: An Angry Man Hits People With Things www.youtube.com/watch?v=Avky...

Every hometown's got the ominous megastructure, what's yours?

Crying over how happy the guillotine in La Scala's production of Andrea Chénier looks. He's just a lil guy 😭😭😭

He's just like us

Profoundly unhappy about this fact

Well, I think I've found the maximum temperature that the thermometer in my office can measure

Fixed the microwave with a drill and a picture hook mate

I know, I know, it's serious

The eldest always takes his Toniebox to the toilet when he's doing a poop, and now he's started insisting everyone else does it, so here I am, a 40 year old man, listening to a Hey Duggee audiobook on the downstairs bog during my morning constitutional

Reform have now lost six by-elections in a row in England, Scotland and Wales. Their national poll rating is 26% – below Labour in 1983 – and Farage’s approval rating is -37. They’re very far from the voice of the people and need to stop being treated as such.

The alternative explanation is that Google's AI knows something we don't

Deeply Confusing Advertising Slogans Of Our Time

Reasonably confident I'm going to go through this whole console generation without knowing which button on the playstation is eject and which one is power

I've not been following Destiny 2 for a good few years now but it appears that one of the main characters in it is just... A Guy? Just the most regular looking dude you can imagine? What happened there?

Good lord

Massive fan of this delivery driver coming within about 300 metres of my house before doing a wee 50-mile detour

Big fan of Cape Verde ever since my dad booked a family holiday there and accidentally rented a villa in a semi-abandoned resort that felt like going on holiday in Pripyat

I do actually think we need national service to help a population not in work, living largely on the generosity of the state, vulnerable to loneliness and online radicalisation, and often desperate for a sense of purpose: retirees.

Under-16s in the UK to take one look at Bluesky and go "...you're alright actually"

Parks and Recreation was great but after about season 4 they just fell in love with their characters too much and it just turned into an endless sequence of lovely things happening to all of them.

What if they kissed

I'm a late adopter to having hayfever, and I'll be honest, I'm not quite sure what you all see in it.

This bit might be an all-timer

Today in: Boring Meeting Or Don Cabarello Album Track?

Selling due to throuple never agreeing on who gets to use the mains pressure shower :(

The eldest is sitting here watching this and angrily yelling at the screen SHE'S NOT A RHINOCEROS SHE'S A DOG and I'm like alright steady on Graham Linehan

Love this for Amazon. Really hitting that sweet spot between useful and creepy.

The British media goes out of its way to induldge the racist wank fantasties of nobody failures like Matt Goodwin then wonders why no one watches or reads them. Be normal! Talk to someone who isn’t a cunt for once!

The Coen Brothers adaptation of The Yiddish Policeman's Union that never quite happened

RIP Pete Myall: lost his mind to insanity trying to properly earth a shielded ethernet cable

My "very best tennis" is Wii Sports Tennis so I reckon I have a shot

The two-year-old has come up with a brand new game that he's very proud of: crawling across the floor at rocket speed and headbutting me in the penis.

I do really want to know his choices though. I'm guessing some early Einstürzende Neubauten. Bit of classic Slayer. Some Neurosis from their crust punk era perhaps.

Watched Ballerina last night, which left me wondering what other films would be improved with a climactic flamethrower duel. Kramer Vs Kramer. Conclave. Paddington maybe?

Honestly I'm not sure how much I should be talking about this. I have stuff to do. I have responsibilities. I can't continually interrupt my personal affairs to discuss a video of Queen, Annie Lennox and David Bowie rehearsing Under Pressure in 1992. That seems like an unreasonable expectation.

just wanted to read a kids’ menu online and look at all this fucking shit lmao

I've already shared one in the thread but here's another: probably the best spoken-word piece on the history and psychogeography of Doncaster that I know of. Comfortably top three. music.apple.com/gb/album/car...

In a kind of grim parody of what it's like to try to live your life while not really caring about football, my Sonos has glitched into playing a single advert for the Champion's League on an endless loop.