“If you’re waiting for the waiter.. that makes you the waiter.” #DeepThoughtsWithTheDeep

[Again, a spark of intelligent life appears behind those eyes. If you blinked, you missed it. Kevin’s guard is up a little, but he since he started this interaction, he’s not running away from it like a beta pussy. He’s the Sigma of the Seven Seas, for God’s sake.]

⠀ ⠀“ Hey~! Let the man speak his truth~ ”

[It’s almost like, for a split second, you can see something begin to click behind the Deep’s eyes. But this all but vanishes, at the prospect of another bro hyping him up. Maybe it’ll click in 3-5 business days.]

“.. Wait, what the fuck? That’s not what I meant—“

“Bro, you fucking get it. Bet you’re a fan of the podcast, right?”

// LMFAO

“Rule one of today’s dating world; don’t chase, let ‘em all come to you. It’s called having aura, my dude.”

ɪ ᴀᴍ ꜰᴇʟɪᴄɪᴀ ʜᴀʀᴅʏ ᴀᴋᴀ ᴛʜᴇ ʙʟᴀᴄᴋ ᴄᴀᴛ~ ❤️&🔃 #ᴍᴀʀᴠᴇʟʀᴘ x #ᴍᴠʀᴘ

‘“Fin’ is in finesse for a reason, fellas.” #DeepThoughtsWithTheDeep #Alpha #Mindset

“They say red lorry yellow lorry, but where the fuck is the orange lorry?” #DeepThoughtsWithTheDeep

“Why do we say ‘Open sesame’? You can’t open a sesame.” #DeepThoughtsWithTheDeep

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” The Deep was immensely proud of himself, and actually *knew* he’d achieved something great this time. He felt.. alpha. Like a leader of the pack. Proof he was the ultimate manhandler, because he just shut this stupid fake-Canadian B-lister right up.

You know spaghetti’s done when it’s soft. Stay soft, boys. #DeepThoughtsWithTheDeep #Alpha #Mindset

// Me and Queek have definitely violated some form of the RP Geneva conventions tonight. I couldn’t be prouder of what we achieved.

Bacteria inside toadfish make sand from seawater scitechdaily.com/a-surprising...

// Kevin moments before disaster tonight:

#Queekisms In my personal headcanon now Sparky was the rebound from Ambrosius

#Queekisms The craziest thing tho Is this feels like the b-plot to a kinda weak episode of the boys tell me I am wrong

“You know what, magnet boy? I think we have ourselves a deal.” [The fact he sounds like he knows exactly what he’s doing, is more chilling than the authoritative tone he’s trying to convey.]

“AND SHE TOLD ME YOU’RE NOT EVEN CA—“ [Pause.] “Whoa. She wasn’t shitting me, huh?” [He’s had an idea.]

// Three days and I’ve already caused Sparkygate.

// I’ve been writing this character, and been in this verse, for about 3ish days by the way. 😭😭😭😭

“SHE’S GOT FUCKING FEELINGS ABOUT THE POOR WAY YOU HOUSE HER, ADAM- OR IS IT ADRIAN?”

“Calm the fuck *down*. I’m being serious. You can back me up, right Sparky?” “Exactly, you’re feeling real cramped in that tiny little bowl.”

“Fu— It’s not what it looks like, dude! She was just telling me her living conditions are inadequate and you need to give her and the girls more room!”

“Lovely name you got there~ — oh, you got other girls in your bowl too, huh? Must get real damn crowded.~” [Winks] “Someone oughta get you a tank~ Whoa, no way, he’s not actually—?”

// The way my jaw DROPPED, lmfao

Nice try, asshole. If you weren’t talking shit, I woulda already known.

"₳ⱠⱠ ł ɆVɆⱤ ₩₳₦₮ɆĐ ₩₳₴ ₳ ₣₳₥łⱠɎ"

“Yᴏᴜ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ᴀɴ ᴀɴᴄʜᴏʀ. I ᴅᴏɴ’ᴛ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴄᴀʟʟ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ I ɴᴇᴇᴅ, ʙᴜᴛ I’ᴍ ɴᴏ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ᴡɪᴛʜᴏᴜᴛ ɪᴛ. Gᴜᴇss ɪᴛ’s ғᴜɴɴʏ ɪɴ ᴀ ᴡᴇɪʀᴅ ᴡᴀʏ.” Jack Ryder. Reporter. Late Night Talk Show Host. Podcaster. Creeper. Demonic Anti-Hero. Yellow Skinned Wacky Man. ♡ + ↻

“Nice.”

“When they say ‘this is the final straw’, ask them why they’re using so many fucking straws… and tell ‘em to buy manhandled’s own reusable one from my store.” #DeepThoughtsWithTheDeep #GetManhandled #WorldEnvironmentDay #LinkInBio

#getmanhandled #hometeamerscanbealliestoo

// I have tears in my eyes Jesus fucking Christ 😭😭😭😭

#StraightButIDontHate #GaysCanBeSigmasToo

“Why do we cover our mouthes when we cough, but not our asses when we fart?” #DeepThoughtsWithTheDeep

Okay sure, but you *could* make the fridge stick to your magnetic-ass if you wanted, right?

The Lord of the Seven Seas, everyone.

The fridge or the syrup..?

Aren’t you supposed to be the magnet guy?

“Why do we say cheese when someone takes a photo? I’m lactose intolerant.” #DeepThoughtsWithTheDeep

I bet you have one too, and you stick to it.

Does syrup go in the fridge?

Whoa, that’s the question I was about to ask..

// Enjoy the wisdom, I’m off to work.

When people say “Oh, I’ll be a monkey’s uncle”, does that mean monkeys say “Well I’ll be a human’s aunt”? #DeepThoughtsWithTheDeep

When Fred Durst said “Hey ladies, hey fellas, and all the people who don’t give a fuck” he invented a third gender; The people who don’t give a fuck. #DeepThoughtsWithTheDeep