Nutty moment squirrel is seen 'vaping' in London park. www.lbc.co.uk/article/nutt...

Sir Michael Palin rescues auction at egg festival. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Rock expert to oversee Scottish stone-skimming championship after cheating scandal. www.thenational.scot/news/2595615...

Red kite with sausage roll snapped by photographer. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Sex garden to ‘break taboos’ at Chelsea flower show as gnome ban ends. www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle...

Xylofagou potato victim of weekend storms. cyprus-mail.com/2026/03/16/x...

A tourist sued a taqueria over spicy salsa. A judge says spice is 'the point.'. eu.usatoday.com/story/money/...

Friends, I have misplaced my folder of screenshots of vehicular passive headlines which I use to teaching writing skills (e.g. the "a cyclist was hit by a car" approach). if you have favourites please link them (will also take police passive too e.g. "a protestor was injured"). Thank you!

Police seize 20kg of cornflakes during drugs raid. (Thanks @mrsemilia.bsky.social!) www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Coin used to pay for bus ticket in Leeds found to be 2,000 years old. www.independent.co.uk/news/science...

I thought this looked familiar - looks like camel facelifts are a perennial problem in Saudi Arabia! Here's a 2021 story from the Headline of the Day Archive: Camels banned from Saudi Arabia beauty contest after being found to have had facelifts and Botox. news.sky.com/story/camels...

Camel pageant thrown into chaos after 20 competitors disqualified for using hump-plumping injectables. www.independent.co.uk/life-style/c...

Couple tried claiming neighbour's land with gnome. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

This may be the oldest ‘butthole’ imprint on Earth. www.scientificamerican.com/article/see-...

Snooker's Mark Williams has 'serious phobia' of tea bags. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Man rescued from Deansgate phone box after trying to order a kebab. www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater...

Giant T-Rex 'stops traffic' in Newcastle as nine metre dinosaur arrives in city centre. www.chroniclelive.co.uk/whats-on/wha...

Horse in stable condition after river rescue. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

LA Metro's 'Ride the D' shirts sell out. We wonder why. www.yahoo.com/news/article...

Man stole three coffee machines in a week from Monaghan department store. m.independent.ie/regionals/mo...

Wolsey Car Park in Ipswich flooded as UK is 'a wet country'. www.ipswichstar.co.uk/news/2588116...

Sydney Water ordered to clean Malabar treatment plant where fatberg is birthing poo balls. www.theguardian.com/environment/...

Man accidentally gains control of 7,000 robot vacuums. www.popsci.com/technology/r...

Football game stops as player performs CPR on seagull struck by ball in Istanbul. (Thanks @john3ners.bsky.social!) www.turkiyetoday.com/lifestyle/fo...

Scientist names ancient crocodile Jones after 'inspirational' teacher. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Delivery van 'stuck on deadliest mudflat footpath'. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Undercover Thai police go dancing in lion costume to catch serial burglar. (Thanks @john3ners.bsky.social!) news.sky.com/story/underc...

'Smiling' fossil discovered on Holy Island. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Like how they put the Police Duck near to the Monarchy Ducks.

I've deleted last night's post because I've realised the website uses AI to automatically translate into English. As I don't speak Thai I can't verify (or trust) that any of it is genuine or accurate, and their disclaimer indicates they don't trust it either - so I'm erring on the side of caution.

Surprise four-legged Olympic competitor wows cross-country fans. (Thanks @darlojo.bsky.social!) www.npr.org/2026/02/18/n...

Italian biathlete returns to Olympic squad after blaming doping positive on Nutella. www.theguardian.com/sport/2026/f...

Man arrested after 16 years on the run when he returns to Italy to watch the Olympics. www.nbcnews.com/sports/olymp...

AI taxi company has to pay DoorDash drivers to go shut the car doors. kotaku.com/waymo-ai-tax...

Love in a cold climate: Winter Olympic village runs out of condoms after three days. www.theguardian.com/sport/2026/f...

Fukushima's radioactive hybrid terror pig boom was driven by amorous mothers. (Thanks @john3ners.bsky.social!) www.theregister.com/2026/02/11/a...

Break in the grey as Aberdeen sees sunshine for the first time in 21 days. www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2026...

Cockerel served with an Asbo after complaint from anonymous neighbour. metro.co.uk/2026/02/09/c...

Horse on tracks causes disruption to train services. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Waymo admits robotaxis are “guided” by humans in the Philippines. cybernews.com/news/waymo-o...

After this swam into my brain last night (unbidden, if you will, but clearly there are neural pathways that divert here at the slightest nudge), it occurred to me that a few people may not have experienced it. Put that hot drink down. Now. Yes before you start reading.

Central Florida man caught in ‘sexual performance’ with vacuum, deputies say. www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2...

Cannibalistic jellyfish with a vanishing anus are invading Venice. www.lbc.co.uk/article/cann...

Buddhist monks 'stashed drugs, porn, sex toys, penis pump and escort list' in temple. (Thanks @john3ners.bsky.social!) www.dailystar.co.uk/news/weird-n...

Fire fears, accidents and emu attacks among safety concerns at Cold War bunker. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Man, 24, goes to hospital with ‘WW1 bomb stuck in rectum’. metro.co.uk/2026/02/01/m...

Officers clear suspect chicken of fowl play. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

Life imitates Eye L: Joke from the last issue (21 Jan 2026) R: A tapestry of headlines this morning

A cow has been filmed using tools for the first time ever, stunning scientists. www.sciencefocus.com/news/cow-too...

Sex club accidentally saved by listed status for old sawmill. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...