The @mariners.com, like us all, just needed a little wisdom and bliss.

Guys, we can boo him all we want, but it’s not going to phase him. He is LITERALLY a Hall of Fame Heel, and they eat this shit up.

Just let Brian May score EVERY movie from now on. Why not?

you’re crazy for this one, @figurecollections.bsky.social Ground Beefing Tour variants coming to a show near you! @scottaukerman.bsky.social @pftompkins.bsky.social 🎟️ comedybangbangworld.com/tour/

I feel like life would have been much easier for me, had a I worn a Gwildor Charm for the past 40 years.

If TV and movies have taught me anything it’s that 99% of scientific research is piping liquid into vials.

How come I get trigger warning emails for Mother’s Day, but not Father’s Day? SOME OF US HAVE DADDY ISSUES TOO, OR-E-O!!!

Kudos to Ron Moore on another fantastic season of #ForAllMankind.

I just conflated Jennifer Connelly and Phoebe Cates in my head, and I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to forgive myself.

Quick! Get MadTV back on the air so @blainecapatch.bsky.social can pitch The Four Seasons and a Movie!

Available next weekend at @lilaccitycomicon, the brand new Sprocket Tails No. 1 by @titomirandaart, with a backup story by @nerdpromcomicsofficial and pinups by @mattwnelson, @nathanobrien509 and myself!

Hey AP, You spelled “Golf” wrong.

Why didn’t Madonna save some time and just release “Like a Virgin-Prayer?”

My hair when I get to work —> My hair when I get home.

I’m a Type A personality. The A is for “Awkward.”

I’ve heard multiple people voice interest in hosting the inevitable US version of #LastOneLaughing, but the obvious choice is CLEARLY @jimmypardo.com. I can’t NOT hear him yell “DOORS!”

T R I N I T Y #dccomics #Superman #Batman #Wonderwoman #comics

A little Batsy

I would like to personally thank @alyankovic.bsky.social for not coming to Spokane on this tour, since I’m desperately trying to save for my daughters’s impending nuptials.

Look, I’m clearly not that familiar with the old friars club days, but I’m guessing those roasts weren’t just terrible people saying nasty (yet oddly truthful) things about other slightly(?) less terrible people? And people consider this comedy?

“AND HERE THEY COME, DOWN THE STRETCH…IT’S TRUMAN SHOW SYNDROME ALMONDS IN THE LEAD!”

I can’t imagine the whiplash that most Americans must experience pretending to care about Star Wars on Monday to pretending to tolerate Mexican “culture” on Tuesday.

Klaatu, Barada AND Nikto? In THIS economy?!?

Quick! Get Harrison Ford on the phone! I want to green-light “Air Force TWO: Apparent Vice.”

Somebody should write new theme songs for all the James Bond movies that don’t use the title in the song. Can’t wait to hear Octopussy’s.

C’mon guys! Colon? ( : ) I’m trying to do digestive tract humor over here!

Let me try this joke again… Small Intestine : RECTUM

SMALL INTESTINE : Rectum

In the year of our lord, 2026, I just completed my first Sudoku. It was the lowest difficulty rating, but I did it in ink…LIKE A BOSS!

Strictly Ballroom (2026) (Pretend like I bothered to waste time photoshopping in Leavitt, Trump, and Kirk)

I mean…at least they didn’t murder anyone this time.

Get Harrison Ford on the phone! I want to green-light The Mosquito Coast 2: Coast 2 Coast!

Get Harrison Ford on the phone! I wanna green-light Witness 2: 2 Many Witnesses!

Dear @allelitewrestling.com, next time you do the “Cocky Champ Loses The Title In One Minute Because He’s Unprepared” Match, DON’T SPECIFICALLY GIVE HIM TWO HOURS TO PREPARE!

I love AEW. I love Darby Allin. That was not the moment they’re trying to pretend it was.

He is, and always has been, the dictator the constitution warned us about, and the false idol that the Bible spoke of. When are the people who claim to hold those two texts in the highest regard going to make the realization?

How come the premise of every #SNL sketch these days is just “Jeremy Culhane is sure ugly, right?”

I think @eliothochberg.bsky.social is trying to covertly kickstart his wife’s OnlyFeet account…

The new Malcolm in the Middle has real Brady Bunch Reunion tv movie vibes. (and that’s a bad thing)

What should we send to #Peacock to protest their #Stuicide on #TwistedMetal? Cans of Stew? Red headbands? @doughboys.bsky.social

I love the @mariners.com Sunday Steelhead throwback jerseys, but @nintendousa.bsky.social should provide them with an era appropriate logo patch.

WHERE IS SHE?!? @bibbymoynihan.bsky.social @brettmorris.bsky.social www.yahoo.com/entertainmen...

I was just reading an article about how Perez Hilton “found God” after a 21 day stay in the Hospital. Sounds to me like he found a whole lotta science instead.

X-Factor.

…we’ve been way too out of touch.”

2nd place: Drop-Dead Fred 3rd place: Harvey the Rabbit

Anyone else use “Garden State” as a verb? Like when your wife walks into the kitchen and you’ve got the dishwasher open and you say “Careful, don’t Garden State yourself?”

Oh thank god, cuz there’s this one toilet back at the HQ that’s REALLY plugged up, and they couldn’t get anybody else to come by and work on it.

Wow, the local news just accidentally (?) ran a birthday greeting with a picture of a guy with the hashtag “pederast” at the bottom. Somebody getting fired today?

I paid $8 to get into this card show, and nobody has any ALF packs! Lame!