I was just reading an article about how Perez Hilton “found God” after a 21 day stay in the Hospital. Sounds to me like he found a whole lotta science instead.

X-Factor.

…we’ve been way too out of touch.”

2nd place: Drop-Dead Fred 3rd place: Harvey the Rabbit

Anyone else use “Garden State” as a verb? Like when your wife walks into the kitchen and you’ve got the dishwasher open and you say “Careful, don’t Garden State yourself?”

Oh thank god, cuz there’s this one toilet back at the HQ that’s REALLY plugged up, and they couldn’t get anybody else to come by and work on it.

Wow, the local news just accidentally (?) ran a birthday greeting with a picture of a guy with the hashtag “pederast” at the bottom. Somebody getting fired today?

I paid $8 to get into this card show, and nobody has any ALF packs! Lame!

I was looking up times for Project Hail Mary while listening to the @hdtgm.bsky.social matinee episode of RAD when this happened…

I REALLY missed the window to make a joke yesterday about Will Smith slapping Cal Raleigh at the #WBC. #TheAcademyAwards

I obviously(?) was pulling for USA, but man, Dominican Republic got SCREWED! #WBC

The wrong Headgum podcaster(s) was featured in that Costco Guys match. #AEWRevolution @doughboys.bsky.social

Last night I dreamt there was a reverse Cameo service where you could pay to send a celebrity a video and they legally had to watch it. I sent @pftompkins.bsky.social a video of myself doing the Hamlet monologue while wearing a Magneto helmet.

JESUS H. CHRIST! Can I see one #WBC game without a commercial for Jesus H. Christ?!?

I want that Tokyo Dome ice cream sandwich real bad!

All Leighton Meesters are Minka Kellys, but not all Minka Kellys are Leighton Meesters.

Why the hell does Lanterns look like it’s part of the Yellowstone universe? That’s, quite possibly, the last thing we need.

Anyone else feel like folks already flying the “America 250th Anniversary” flag is coming dangerously close to when People magazine released the “Betty White 100th Birthday” special edition?

HISTORY’s MYSTERIES: Imhotep, the renowned Egyptian polymath, architect, and physician’s actual full-name was In My Humble Opinion Tep.

There’s something about @jordanmorris.bsky.social that I could never quite put my finger on until last night.* It’s like if Zach Galifinakis and Bobby Moynihan made sweet, yet hilarious love, Jordan would be the baby they poop out. * I did not actually put my finger on him last night.

Happy 32nd Birthday Justin Beiber. Your mother and I are very proud of you.

Got to the Neptune Theatre early for tonight’s @doughboys.bsky.social show and there was a HUGE line down the block!!! …it was for the Raising Cane’s around the corner.

Now Marcello is just doing Sebastian hosting SNL.

Dave Meltzer is reporting that @danhausen.bsky.social’s WWE contract is a five-year deal for (1) 9.0 graded copy of Amazing Fantasy 15.

[Listening to two gun-nuts jerking each other off at the Kinkos] Chud #2: Yeah, I sleep with a loaded pistol AND AR, because I don’t have kids…not for lack of trying. Me: No shit? (That last part was only in my head)

How is it the 40th Anniversary of The Legend of Zelda, AND the 30th Anniversary of Pokémon?!? Time is broken!

The thing that people tend to forget about cyber trucks is that if you just set aside all the Elon nonsense and baggage, they’re still just really fucking stupid looking.

GRAMMYS GOOFS: The band Barenaked Ladies had their 1990 award for Best New Artist revoked when it was revealed that they were all actually fully clothed men.

FUN FACT: Not only is LEGO the world’s largest producer of tires, they are also the global leader in Batarang manufacturing.

How did Frank Darabont manage to make both the best AND worst* Stephen King movies? *Maximum Overdrive excluded for obvious reasons.

Who, in your opinion, is the most overrated A-List Movie Star? The answer is Christian Bale.

Coming soon to Disney Più.

Actor Eric Dane, best known for his role as “Multiple Man” Jamie Maddrox in X-Men: The Last Stand has died less than a year after announcing his ALS diagnosis. He was 53 years old.

Remember, in the 90’s, when EVERY new sci-fi movie was marketed as “The ‘Star Wars’ of the next generation,” then they actually started making the Star Wars for the next generation, and they all had to stop?

More like Side-boob Academy, amirite?!?

FUN FACT: Carol Channing has performed in the same number of Super Bowl Halftime shows as Bad Bunny.

@preternia.com, looks like the McFarlane Saga figures are up to 90% off on store.skybound.com.

My favorite #Superbowl moment was @talksportytome.bsky.social jumping out of K9’s way on the sideline. Guess all those years dodging the ice water showers paid off! #GoHawks

Sorry, but I don’t need a convicted rapist lecturing me on being obese.

They should have called it Twice Upon A Time in Hollywood.

He’s going to order her a younger, hotter, Slovenian mom.

Man…why couldn’t Chevy just be a good guy?

TAWNY NEWSOM, YOU SON OF A BITCH! #StarfleetAcademy

MJF, hearing the “F*CK ICE” chants.

How does a dude named “Dick Hammer” reconcile with having a grandson named Samuel Darnold?

Man, I wonder where Frasier’s loyalties will lie in this years #SuperBowl…

Just got in the new @cbbworld.bsky.social action figures of Reggie Watts and @bibbymoynihan.bsky.social's Fourvel!

From now on, EVERY biopic will end with the real-life subject looking dead ass into the camera and say “See ya guys!”

One of my favorite things about Return of the Jedi is that they specifically don’t tell 3PO the real plan at the beginning, because they know he’d screw it up.

I just completed the “If I Had Machines I’d Smash You” Challenge. Whom do I contact about my complimentary A24 t-shirt?