Oh you mean it only took one day? Hell yes, go us. I haven’t had to prime a room in a long time in addition to painting, so this timing was a lovely surprise. (Touch-ups and accessorization tomorrow don’t count)

mandatory reading

alright mfrs it’s prime and paint the kitchen day 1 lets gooooo

Capricorn: Everyone is impressed by your ability to carry an unreasonable emotional and professional burden without crying in the break room. Have a lukewarm tap water to celebrate.

Sagittarius: Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good. Be the enemy of the good yourself.

This is why I don't like cleaning off the counter in the kitchen Death by 1000 (more) tiny decisions Is this trash? Where does this belong? Did I pay this? Is that organic matter? Why is there organic matter? Who's pile does this go in?

I think it’s probably safe to say that my century isn’t happening in 2026. I’m proper devastated. It’s not for lack of will or training, but rather just the absolute worst luck with recurrent saddle sores. Clearly my fit isn’t right, and I don’t want to remain on antibiotics indefinitely as a way

Popped by the store to get some softener salt and the guy was like, do you want me to load that in the cart? Oh, no thanks, I got it! I could get someone to load it for you? Nope, I’m actually good, thanks! …Just trying to be nice Like dude, sure, but these don’t even feel like 40lbs?

Day one: it’s not even 7am and I’ve already seen a teeny tiny tree frog sleeping on a stem and heard a monarch caterpillar barely an inch long eating the milkweed in my garden Gonna be a good day, folks

I follow @cpsc.gov and now my feed is filled with drawings of horses and I’m…not mad about this pivot in content

It only took me five days but I finally finished my rewatch of 27 Dresses and it probably says a lot about me that - I still really enjoyed this movie; - it took me /this long/ to finish; and - outside of my flight from Madrid this is the first movie I’ve watched for myself in literally years 🙃

Setting up to eat pizza outside. I ask 3 what we need to have dinner outside: 3: grapes & blueberries! Perfect! 3: & this! (Jar of better than boullion) No, I’m not cooking 3: & this for daddy! (Bottle of Bailey’s) Haha uhh 3: & this milk! (Carton of heavy cream) Oookay buddy, how about plates?

Nothing like pulling a 10+ hour day (after a few 9+hr days) right before your vacation because jfc it is just SO BUSY wtaf 😵‍💫 Last night’s Paloma’s grapefruit was almost so big it eclipsed my juicer. Tonight’s the other half and you KNOW that’s right mfrs

Ignoring the blurred super closeup of the palm of my hand, here’s a live look at my cat helping me with my planks by providing incentive to not crush her As a motivation tactic, I wouldn’t say it’s super effective, because she is very fluffy and soft, but I appreciate the intention

After last night’s pure emotional damage, today felt like I was paying penance: yet another saddle sore, my bike route covered in literal trash truck slop puddles every 15’ in 90*F+ heat, insurance hullabaloo. Then I learned that Mercury is in retrograde I have achieved meme status irl

Ran into an issue with Claude at work and looped in my tech team. After theirs was a partial fix, they asked me to ask Claude what it needed to fix itself fully It just writes itself, really

3 drove me to literal tears tonight. why is this age so fucking awful. and he just laughs! i know there’s an exuberant, rational, intelligent, sweet little boy in there, but fucking hell his (age appropriate) lack of empathy, impulse control, and giving two shits is going to take its toll

Tfw you realize maybe you got a little ambitious with your toppings for your egg salad wrap

just wanted to read a kids’ menu online and look at all this fucking shit lmao

Just my local organic blueberry farm, doing its best to stop crime

Tonight’s culinary foray: guajillo peppers in my black bean soup! No recipe, just vibes I’ve never cooked with guajillo peppers before and on a whim bought a giant bag at the store. I see a bunch of homemade birria, salsas, marinades, and who knows what else in my future this summer p u m p e d

Okay, I rarely add sweetener to my oatmeal, preferring to just add fruit, but I saved the blueberries that I strained out of my blueberry lemonade syrup base and used it in my bowl this morning and when I say I made an excellent choice

Intro-ing the boys (all three, including my husband) to the Labyrinth on this rainy Sunday. I forgot: -how fun David Bowie is -how scary the muppets could be -how bad I feel bad for the baby -to buy more bourbon, as this old fashioned will only last so long

That @naomialderman.bsky.social is so fucking brilliant. If you've found yourself falling out the reading habit, she has created a kind of Couch-to-5K of reading open.substack.com/pub/naomiald...

✅ frozen cooked turkey packaged ✅ first tray of blueberries on initial freeze ✅ second tray prepped ✅ hard boiled eggs cooled ✅ blueberry lemonade complete and in the fridge ✅ freezer tray filled with coffee for next week’s coffee cubes ✅ dishes done ✅ groceries

Apparently I never actually shared my post earlier today? In sum: This morning I cycled to my local organic blueberry u-pick and immediately upon arriving home 3 just started hammering blueberries and honestly this is what summer is made of (Later we learned he thought they were grapes 😆)

I have no idea how many blueberries I ate today (was it a pound? I think it may’ve been a pound) and I have no regrets

there's a subreddit, /r/bigger, for women who have gained weight and want to be exhibitionist about it, and a recent post was by someone who went from skinny to Venus-of-Willendorf-shaped because mold poisoning made them gain 140 lbs. took 20 doctors to figure this out

Tiento de verano is not quite the same when made with Squirt, but when in Indiana 🤷🏻‍♀️

Rescued a turtle off the road during dropoff so that’s a point in today’s favor!

3 decided to wake up at 2:30 this morning and struggle to understand why he had to go back to bed until about 45 minutes ago Meanwhile, my alarm went off at 6

what if I just…don’t work out today

the owner of my bar just showed me this “report” he wrote for sunday school when he was a kid. i am fucking crying

Not only do we have a heat warning but I woke up with an incoming migraine, not my aura king but the kind where I just want to vom because the pain is onsetting so quickly Happy freaking Monday

I’m tired of this terrible kitchen wall color that I swear the woman before us tried to match to the cherry stain on the cabinets. Awful. The sitch: I have a lovely orange on the wall next to it in my office, the bathroom is a wonderful deep blue-teal, and the 2-storey living room is a muted brown.

Last night, while helping to brush teeth; 3: Mama, your tummy is almost like a marshmallow! Thanks, child. Thanks.

11 made his first bread loaves on his own today! Now we’re impatiently waiting for them to cool long enough to slice into them (but not as long as they say online, because who has that kind of patience??) His initial reaction?: “That looks store-bought.” Damn straight they do, king

Brb updating my headcanon

Ugh, I hate shopping. The nuances are often so minute between products that it boggles why they felt the need to differentiate them at all. I just want a dishwasher that doesn’t require being a part of the IoT to function & isn’t going to kill me in my sleep via rogue agentic shenanigans.

I don't know what we're doing in our next D&D session, but my friend who is DMing asked me to make a "Better Gnomes and Dungeons" magazine cover (a spoof on Better Homes and Gardens). I had a lot of fun making this so I'm sharing it. 😂

Way overslept, then somehow began my day not with coffee and birdsong but instead by blearily consuming a white paper on cybersecurity in the age of AI followed by discourse on antisemitism and when I say I have made mistakes

3 rode his bike (with training wheels) around what we call “the big loop” which equates to about 0.8mi!! Super proud of him. When falls occurred, he was super chill and immediately climbed back on. So excited 🤩

Be proud: I made it to the gym today! First sesh since my trip, where I lifted not at all. Didn’t want to come, but I did anyway. Go me!

Every Sunday there’s a giant open air market in Madrid that lasts for hours called El Rastro. You can find everything from antiques to wine to jewelry to LEGO minifigs to leather goods to goat feed. Here are two statues I wish I could’ve taken home, but alas, luggage constraints.

Dripped coffee on my dress within the first half cup of the day. Today is going well.

Tonight’s from-scratch butter chicken received family approval, even from 11, though he said it had a bit too much heat (3 didn’t even bother 🙃). The garlic variation of naan could’ve been more garlicky; next time I’ll infuse it into the milk/butter longer. Pizza stone was so-so for execution.

Some light reading this Monday morning 🙃 www.techtimes.com/articles/318...

TIL that shaking’s out, dabbing’s in, & I got to whip out my hard-earned wisdom from the annals of Good Charlotte, only for my husband to not know the reference at all. Queue asking Siri to play who then kept giving me web results & my husband said he programmed her to never play GC 😒 AirPlay, baby!

The girlfriend at home doing the real work.

Made ribs for Father’s Day lunch at my husband’s request. 11, coming to the table, remarks, “It smells like Grandpa’s house.” I may have my issues with my dad, but the man is known for his hog roasts, and I will a thousand percent take this as the compliment it is.