I've just seen one of my cats sneak into one of next door's open windows. The little slag.

I have had a deliciously lazy morning. I AM dressed now, I should probably do a Thing.

God damn it. Not my one blade cutting out half way through the job.

Also, first time in a week I've got the house to myself for the entire day. Glorious.

I am up far too early again 😮‍💨😮‍💨🫠🫠

the latest sick and twisted policy from a desperate Reform that's dropping in the polls 📉

Made panzanella for tea with caponata fried tempeh. And it was FIT.

May 4th inside your ass or whatever Carrie Fisher said

Birthday Suit is a hugely underrated Kesha song

Hey you

Absolutely no need for me to be up at 6.45 again. Why is my body being a little bitch.

Started watching Half Man, and are they gonna shag? Are baby reindeer and billy elliot gonna shag?

The BBC News app currently has no articles visible on Tice’s £100k tax dodge, Farage’s £5 million donation, Reform conning a street into thinking they’d get their bills paid… None of it visible in the week ahead of elections. This is what corruption looks like. 🤔🤔

After a hectic 24 hours in Essex, we are back south of the Thames. Get me home STAT.

girls, take your own snacks to the cinema, acab includes the cinema candy bar

Up at 6 on a Sunday. Rude.

Okay, I am in Essex. Send thoughts and prayers.

Definitely noticing grey hairs coming through on my chin 🧓

So my brother's been visiting for a couple of days. After he leaves were going to the in-laws to stay for the night. I am TIRED. My social battery is EMPTY.

I am very full of fish finger bhorta

Fuck me I am knackered

My brother is watching an episode of SAS rogue heroes. Stupid war glorification nonsense, none of these blokes are even a bit naked.

Mmmmm do I risk a third coffee

Why have I got One Last Hope from Hercules stuck in my head. Danny Devito leave me alone!

Absolutely no need for me to be awake at 5am. This is not acceptable.

Ooh this episode of EastEnders has a bit of topless Syed in it! Delicious!

Finally finished all the chores, more or less. Now I can chill for one measly hour before I start making dinner

I'm about as surprised as the least surprised person to ever fully expect something to happen to no surprise to anybody elector.uk

Kind of a buried lede here too - arrest may have been because she had proof that on a previous occasion the cops had accessed and downloaded explicit cctv of her on the toilet

Made the mistake of sitting on the sofa to eat lunch and now I do not want to move.

Just to reiterate, this government could vote through anything it fucking wanted. Anything shit that’s happening that no-one’s tried to fix; that’s on them. Poverty, homelessness, persecution of vulnerable minorities, corruption, pollution, price gouging, asset stripping. All of it.

My brother is coming over tonight on his way back from Spain, a day early, so I've got a surprise day of extra housework to do 🫠🫠

Free Willy. I am still terrified of whales / the sea

Leaving eachother notes about the condition of our dog's bowel movements wasn't exactly how I envisioned married life, but here we are.

*touch wood* but I think my dog might be well enough to be left alone overnight. I am very keen to get to sleep in my bed.

Fucksticks. The place where I wanted to hang two of the shelves is apparently full of wiring

WHY has my 6mm masonry drill bit GONE MOSSING?!?!?!

Windfall tax now on UK supermarkets

Finally getting round to fixing all the brackets on my bookshelves and I am so pleased with how they've turned out 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

How *anyone* treats trans people, trans women in particular, will tell you exactly what they think about *all* women. People like Jess make a name for themselves 'protecting women', but you have to be a very specific type of woman to earn their protection, usually white and always cis.

They should warn you that if you feed your dog chicken and rice for a bad stomach it will produce farts to make your eyes water. There should be a label.

Check your Sertraline if you're on it in the UK www.gov.uk/government/n...

Ooft, new year's day 2010 EastEnders is brutal

There are some incredibly hot men that work in my local Aldi. Please violently fling me through your checkout.

Definitely been on my phone too much today, my brain feels all spikey

Still quite worried about my dog.

arm the dolls

Kinda tempted to buzz my hair off and bleach it again. I should probably just get a job.

Sometimes you just need to have a little dance about

Burn it all down