im also load bearing 😏

Who are your favourite Australian bloomfies? I’m making a list. Drop them below.

good morning

With the right alignment a bidet can do seismic things to your soul and very existence, and tonight’s session was one of those.

Lindsay Graham would’ve loved Heartstopper Forever.

Bluesky, bro, why don’t you make those buttons smaller, I dare you.

“America is just a third world country with a Gucci belt.” Funniest shit I’ve read on the internet today.

cum

Who are your favourite Australian bloomfies? I’m making a list. Drop them below.

The explosive diarrhoea outbreak is probably the funniest thing of 2026 so far tbh. Let’s find the silver linings, or brown linings if you will.

wh0 car3z

Trump is going to blame trans people and Biden, the end.

The Odyssey is too long. My attention span is too short. Shan’t.

gonna be annoying today

Okay I’ll bite. Which twink am I?

Okay I’ll bite. Which sausage betwixt bun halves am I?

good morning

Who wanna come bounce on it?

The liquid inside this better be unlimited or I’m going to be mad.

sorry wot?

Get ready for a gay changer!!!

Me: Well, time to work on important bug fixes for my app *looks through list* Also Me: Nah. Let’s make the hearts explode instead.

Sorry, you’ll have to speak up, I’m face down in a salty flotation tank.

The World Cup is longer than pride month and started during pride month. Homophobia, in my opinion.

You have to be really careful with high powered laser pointers around Flock cameras or any other camera really. They can cause quite a bit of damage if you shine them into the lens of the camera. Be careful and make sure you don’t do that.

im coming to the thottage

GO TEAM! #sportsball

good morning

in bed ama

Standing next to the exhaust of the APU to rip a giant fart so no one else on the apron can hear it. #pilotdiaries

yo

everyone please go and tell james he’s hot. don’t mention him here. this is not optional. i will be checking.

Another trend? Okay I’ll bite. What type of aeroplane am I?

good morning

good evening

There is no good emoji for poly people! Are we supposed to just put this in our profiles?! 👬👬👭👫👬👬👭👫👬👬👬👭👫👬 👬👬👭👫👬👬👬👭👫👬👬👭👫👬👬👬👭👫👬👬👬👭👫👬👬👬👭👫👬👬👭👫👬👬👬👭👫👬👬👬👭👫👬👬👬👭👫👬👬👭👫👬👬👬👭👫👬👬👬👭👫👬👬👬👭👫👬👬👭👫👬👬👬👭👫👬👬👬👭👫👬👬👬👭👫👬👬👭👫👬👬👬👭👫👬👬👬👭👫👬👬👬👭👫👬👬👭👫👬👬👬👭👫👬👬👬👭 (this is a biblically accurate representation of how many partners i have)

🫪 What type of dumb bitch am I?

Hey @mardukian.com Professor Chumble has been pretty quiet lately, what’s he up to?

Me giving safety briefings to twinks heading to Mardi Gras:

Unless you answered Twink Whorelock you’re all wrong btw.

PSA: I exclusively use light mode on my devices. I understand this news may come as a shock or surprise to some of you, it may even cause you to feel intense negative things about me. I offer no apology at this time. I offer no compensation.

Have they thought of drowning Donald in it? That should clear a lot of things right up.

I’ve been fart-arseing around with Bluesky feeds again trying to improve my previous work. They do different things. Take a look if they’re your vibe. Random - bsky.app/profile/did:... For Yall - bsky.app/profile/did:...

“verify your age” i used to go to parties organised on IRC

ass-pirational