Boy George is confusing because he’s a boy but he’s also a George

Beverly’s Hillbilly

Apparently Fisher Price does not license music that uses the word “asshole” for their toys. Yet another one of life’s little disappointments.

Everybody knows that Paul McCartney is left handed. But what other moral failings does he have? Take the Paul McCartney Moral Failing Quiz to test your knowledge!

On this date in 1963, mild-mannered Peter Parker was bitten by a radioactive spider and got so horny that he killed his parents or something. I don’t remember; it’s been a while since I read any comic books.

Cheese before bed, wife wants you dead. Bed before cheese, more of that please.

it's unbelievable to me that someone could actually be a trillionaire. i think most of us have trouble internalizing how much money that truly is. let me put it in simple terms for you: a trillion dollars is three million dollars

This is who runs this account

America honks itself off to death

@grantbrisbee.bsky.social unsolicited pitch: the Giants’ best and worst case scenarios are both that they finish .500

Happy Bring a Gun to Work January

Celebrity Sex Party, with your host, Ken Jennings

I heard that the Dilbert guy tried to suck his own dick too hard and died and I thought I’d audition to be the new Dilbert artist. What do you think?

NYT opinion page bringing the heat

He was really ahead of his time

i don't care for the grinch as a person but I've always respected his films. I'm able to separate the art from the artist.

KURTIS BLOW (seeing a guy dribble up the court): Amazing.

I would gladly kill one thousand normal people to save the life of just one celebrity

A broken calendar's right twice a year

It’s at times like these that I’m reminded of the famous final words of 1984: “Hey—hey, you ever suck a dog’s dick? Heh heh heh heh.”

Sonic the hedgehog died this afternoon from an overdose on sex pills

Dear Beavis, I’m Batman. Love, Butthead —— Dear Batman, I’m Butthead. Love, Beavis

I went to the zoo and they said the bears ate all the monkeys. They seemed pretty excited about it.

A genie came and told me one thing that I already knew (I missed my calling in life) and one thing I didn’t (that calling was being a guy who riffed in the replies of hit tweets, always making the same few jokes about pig assholes).

My Icelandic post-rock band that sings in a made-up language about the world of Frasier is called Sigur Roz

I heard that the Dilbert guy tried to suck his own dick too hard and died and I thought I’d audition to be the new Dilbert artist. What do you think?

I posted this on Twitter and it got no likes so this is Bluesky’s chance to finally do something good

I appreciate the episode of the new season of King of the Hill that is just Hank saying contemporary words and terms that didn’t really exist when the show was last on the air.

voices in my ear telling me not to buy an adult tricycle so that I don't have to learn how to ride a bike, these are what our friends in scientology call a Suppressive Person

I’m watching the pavement episode of Austin city limits and they look so old. It’s disgusting.

Maybe it’s just me but this doesn’t seem newsworthy

Oh yeah? Why don’t you go watch some Seinfeld about it, then!

🎶Baby I hear the bombs a-burstin’ / Tossed salad and rockets’ glare🎶

Brian Wilson wrote songs about wanting to kiss a girl who is so pretty that it drives you to commit suicide so you can go to heaven and fight god to the death. The Beatles wrote songs about jacking off farm animals.

Chalamet is like the inverse of the prototypical Knicks fan in that he seems like a poser but he’s actually a genuine diehard

The “JD” in JD Vance stands for “Jerry Dseinfeld”

If there's only one thing that I know it's this: the gods are incapable of delivering me punishment for my hubris