Me [after unveiling a new half-baked plan]: “I am simply dragged through life by my passions!” My husband [affectionately]: “yeah, I am also dragged through life by your passions”

I'd much rather have a society where racists feel the need to use dog whistles than one where they don't. That doesn't mean I'm fooled by the dog whistles or am defending the whistling racists, it means I want a society where racism is seen as shameful.

I’m on a work trip right now, which means I’m going to have to admit to my boss at breakfast tomorrow that I’m extra tired because I was up all night learning new Taylor Swift lyrics

there was so little guidance from the government on this shutdown that my husband was checking the betting markets the last few days to guess at whether he was gonna get furloughed

I try not to be a hater, but we just watched Materialists, and I hated almost every minute of it. I think I need to be done with Celine Song movies

Not to brag, but we had a big group dinner this weekend and I knew the most about what everyone has been up to, so I think I get an A+ in Friend Homework for the month

My friend’s sister watched her kids and they wouldn’t go to sleep, so she played them lullabies Accidentally played them a joke song called “twinkle twinkle little bitch” and now they won’t stop singing it

We both like our jobs quite a lot, but if we could just putter around tending to our little home and loving each other, that would be a perfect life, I think

Just for fun, I looked up total worldwide deaths from all causes in 2024. 62 million.

Our annual Summer Produce party was so so excellent A feast! Now I’m ready for fall

i think anyone saying he practiced politics the right way or that we should continue his work should first have to read out loud his last days worth of posts to someone they love who doesnt know who he is

I was for gun control yesterday, and I’m for gun control today Because I have never believed that these random acts of violence are a fair price to pay for the second amendment, and I’m not foolish enough to expect that a culture awash in guns will spare me

no surprised that brett ”almost certainly flunked his remedial classes” kavanaugh thinks the constitution authorizes a race-based federal “papers please” regime. quick, someone ask him what he thinks of the fugitive slave act.

every year the VMAs roll around and remind me of my age bc who are these people… no, nevermind, this is none of my business

Our friends just bought 55 acres of land, and now I’m trying to convince them that our friend group should build a cottage court and all raise our kids together

I forgot football was back and was slightly outraged Like, “okay the state government and approximately 60% of the population sucks, but there are still a lot of nice people here!!”

Yesterday my husband was paragliding, and a bit after he launched he called me and said, “the shuttle was full, can you come get me so I don’t have to wait half an hour for the next one?” And I was like, “I would love to do that for you, but you flew off with the keys”

I did a deep dive on Taylor’s ring designer, and she’s so cool: -obsessed with ethical gemstones; clients are not allowed to bring their own stones, and she designs around the specific stone -specializes in wildly intricate hand-carved rings -has a fascination with how her pieces capture light

I’m having a comically bad week: Found out a parent has leukemia Started my period Slept weird and messed up my neck more than seems possible Got a UTI Working with a client who is actively hostile and appears to hate me personally

Me: the ring is 8 carats! My husband: holy shit. is she a rabbit?

Too bad that our legal and institutional safeguards only work to prevent good policies. It would be cool if they also stopped the evil stuff

hypothetically, if you found out that your parent — who you’ve been estranged from for ≈5 years — has a very serious but likely not fatal illness… what would you do? hypothetically

the thing about previously being suicidal for long stretches is that no one ever thinks it’s funny when you joke about killing yourself

if you can't sell the american public on the idea that federal troops in the streets is fundamentally unacceptable then you have no business being in politics. and if you do not forcibly believe this at your core such that you can't shut up about it, that goes double for you

Did my good deed* for the day! *talked someone out of installing vinyl flooring in their home

ohmygod the neighbor is the candidate. I’m gonna volunteer

still don’t think you’re gonna make it

A neighbor was setting up for what looked like some sort of political party and when I drove by it in full swing, I saw it was campaign launch I looked up the candidate and they’re a democrat, so now I am going to befriend these people

we need to ban botox and fillers for people under 30 until we figure out how to stop injectable-induced face dysmorphia

Born to be a lady of leisure, forced to [gestures wildly toward computer]

Here’s the crumb. I am nowhere near an expert but I think this is pretty good??

Not bad for a first try at baking sourdough bread!!!

not sure how many pounds of peaches I need to purchase and consume before I feel I’ve sufficiently appreciated the miracle that is peach season, but the answer is apparently more than 25 pounds

Not to be twee, but sometimes I look around my extremely normal house and think about how good I have it, historically speaking A king’s ransom of spices in my kitchen. I flush my toilet with potable water. A machine washes my clothes for me. Kinda nuts!

I need everyone to hope/pray that I get the thing I want* *it’s a good thing, promise

Surprise banger of a fridge-dump dinner: deconstructed BLT salad [deep breath]: lettuce + pickled cabbage + tomatoes + fridge pickles with sourdough and bacon fat croutons (all local!), lots of bacon, fancy cheddar, and a mayo/ketchup/mustard/greek yogurt dressing

how much would it cost to run a global extinction campaign on the mosquito species that bite humans? can we crowdfund it?

“I’m not ready to be [a football] analyst now, but give me 16 months” Okay so… 16 months from today is her 37th birthday. WHAT DO YOU HAVE PLANNED, TAYLOR?

“August is spiritually fall” no august is spiritually hell

My family said I wasn’t “a people person” and a professor once told me I shouldn’t practice in the South bc people wouldn’t like me But my favorite contractor called me “the best designer he knows” & my favorite electrical engineer called me “a joy to work with” so I’m doing okay!!

all signs point to a return to big pop, but when I hear taylor swift say “the life of a showgirl” I think nothing new, lucky, peace, anti-hero, I can do it with a broken heart, clara bow… this woman has an extremely complicated relationship with her fame

They're not wrong. A bunch of hooligans stormed the Capitol a few years ago, remember? And I heard there are pedophiles with top clearance access at the White House. Scary stuff.

I cut my finger pretty badly on a very sharp knife, and in the aftermath I realized that my husband’s brain is programmed “in case of emergency: panic”

took a sourdough class, came home with a starter, and I feel like I've just adopted a pet I'm not 100% sure I want

true love is low-stakes rage bait >husband has been making me tea every morning for ≈5 years >last night, I tell him maybe I don’t need it every day anymore, let’s skip tomorrow > no tea today >I walk into kitchen and say, “no tea for me?🥺” 😳 -> 😠 in 2 seconds

“A legitimate PhD-level expert in anything,” they said. “Show me a diagram of the US presidents since FDR, with their names and years in office under their photos,” I said.

My theory is that being a fantastic home cook is 20% culinary skills 30% ability to identify good recipes 40% ability to follow directions 10% wisdom to make good substitutions

every job site is exactly the same

Growing up, I thought I wanted to start all types of businesses (restaurant! cafe! boutique hotel! cute little shop!), and it wasn’t until I’d been an interior designer for a few years that I realized I actually just wanted to design a bunch of stuff

On the blog now: Lazy Girl Quiche (you uhhh use a tortilla for the crust) Surprisingly good and written to use up whatever veggies are going wrinkly in your refrigerator. Makes two hearty adult servings 😋 www.alyssahakanson.com/blog/lazy-gi...