To be sneezed on by a cat is on par with being baptized

“Lead by example” would be a good political slogan, I feel like that would do numbers

Waking up at my mothers to Fox News talking about how democrats are trying to get service members to disregard orders damn near has me livid

Im sweating with my shirt off but my toes are cold. Is this… hell?

This is also a great deal, fantastic trilogy highly recommend

$4 for the Witcher 3 is actually crazy value, it’s such a good game. I’m impressed they’re selling it so cheap, I’ve already played it but wowza

If you’re ever wondering what it’s like to live a day in my shoes, try having a rising crust pepperoni Digiorno pizza for breakfast and you’ll get a glimpse

Wasn’t even online today and got blocked by 3 people. That’s what they mean when they say “aura”

This is a fantastic picture

All I’m saying is that this is how all push notifications should start

Stop! In the name of love 💕 uwu

If I weren’t healthy could I do this?? *sobs uncontrollably*

achillles should have just worn timbs

Movie that takes place where you’re from

Holy sweet fucking mercy the things you encounter at this job. I don’t think I’m ever entering this field again. I have the utmost respect for mental illness but I simply cannot do it anymore. I want to gouge out my eyes with a plastic fork.

Hey hey, I just wanted to let people know if you are transmasc, trans non-binary, or a trans person of color, I know y'all can get drowned out even in the trans community. But y'all are still valid as hell and I'm rooting for you!

Incase you didn’t know

Back to triple digit followers! Yippie! Thanks y’all.

Now my coworker is making a giant pancake in the oven, I’ve entered an alternate universe someone save me

If you don’t consider this a bop I don’t consider you worth listening to music.youtube.com/watch?v=oLS5...

Bruh. My coworker just made ramen noodles for his client and he DRAINED THE LIQUID. Homie doesn’t know how to make ramen. Tragic.

shes baby ❤

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but if you don’t like Hozier your opinion just happens to be wrong. I don’t make the rules, I just enforce them. music.youtube.com/watch?v=O38F...

This is my vibe

need to be hotter and sluttier

BROTHER HE’S COPYING HIS LOOK NOW LMAO

Hrt has somehow made me even more of a lesbian. I’ve always been bi but I was always mainly a butt person and never cared about boobs. Now when I see boobs I’m like 🫠

I’m going to scream piss and cry

Yes, they actually did, they just expected the American people to oppose it.

I was watching a YouTube video and the guy asked Siri to set a timer and he said “please” at the end and that made me irrationally upset

MTG is resigning, maybe there is a god

It's the only logical conclusion

Me and who

This kind of question is not deep or even worthy of asking. It might as well be asking “What if Aragorn wasn’t Aragorn?”

How it feels to chew 5 gum

mama bore a girl with a gun for a mouth. teeth dripping lead, and lips bleeding red .

I was in Silent Hill in my dream. Didn’t see a monster, but I’ve never felt so lost and sad in a dream. I’ve had such sad and miserable dreams, but I cannot even begin to articulate the dread of being in that place, just looking out into the fog

Just got an intense craving for some pumpkin pie with cool whip

They're called deviled eggs because when you see them, a devil shows up on your shoulder and says "you should eat 25 of them"

the oomfies

They use fear as a weapon.

The side of a war that insists on peace will always be the side who cleans up the blood

This is fantastic 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

Rise and grind gamers

Bros car tags in front of me are from 08 😳

Any show that streams on an exclusive platform is doomed to fail