"This warm weather is good for my arthritis" is better than "This cold weather is bad for my arthritis", but could be improved. Consider "Did so many cartwheels down the beach that I sunburned the bottoms of my feet."

This is about vampires isn't it.

In America, anyone can be president, even if they are a demented incontinent pedophile with 34 felony convictions. That is inspiring.

The other day Manchester United’s co-owner Jim Ratcliffe said the UK had been "colonised by immigrants"….today there’s this billboard outside of Old Trafford 🔥….way to go Manchester 💪!

AOC in the primary. The Democrat in the general. I don't care if it's Gollum, as long as it isn't an Epstein Rich Pedophiles Club Couch Fucking Fascist. My planned primary vote might skitter around before the voting. My general vote is like a red white and blue vibranium shield. It's not moving.

Nick just needs to meet the right woman.

Had a dream setting up to be a school nightmare where I couldn't find paper, etc, but then the problem turned out to be algebra, and I thought "I can do algebra! I woke up refreshed and happy as if I'd been dreaming about flying all night.

Turns out our bodies are just like this digital infrastructure dependency diagram. (Courtesy Randall Munroe)

I switched to a diet intended to lower my bad cholesterol, and already I'm less afraid of dying.

If you know you have done a bad thing, you don't interview with Chotiner. Duh. If you think that you haven't done a bad thing, interviewing with Chotiner sounds like fun. If you were wrong, ouch. What a “Melania” Cinematographer Hoped to Accomplish www.newyorker.com/culture/q-an...

I think Trump just said that Gustavo is a boat. That is not a good thing.

The fact that all those people contacted Epstein after his conviction, illustrates the importance of certification in business.

I googled "money maxxing sigmas", and the Black Scholes Model for option pricing popped up. Investors used to run this calculation for the entire options market on a bajillion GPUs to find mispriced options, so they could money max. Maybe they still do.

Mural of Alex Pretti in Seattle, Washington. Artwork by Topsy.

Wouldn’t have made it out of the VEEP writers room

I probably wasn't going to do anything, but now that I've realized that I'm sick, I feel morally obligated to do nothing, which is way better.

Rest in Peace Alex Jeffrey Pretti🙏🏾 The VA ICU Nurses send him off right 💔

When I was working, my first 60 years, and for a couple years after I retired, my fingernails just took care of themselves. Now I've de-stressed, I've noticed that if I don't do something, they just grow and grow. So weird. What do people do?

Ben Jennings, The Guardian

NEW: This is a REAL story in The Globe and Mail today. Canadian Armed Forces are modelling responses to a US military invasion from the south. They expect Canadian forces to be overrun in a fortnight, so the plan centres on Afghanistan-style insurgencies to inflict mass casualties on US troops 👇

The Norwegians must be feeling terrible about how Trump is beating up on Denmark because a Norwegian organization didn't kiss Trump's Depends. Sweden is mopping their brow over their near miss.

The Vice President and the cabinet have to sign on to a 25th amendment ruling. Impeachment and conviction in the senate would send a message to the new president that the 25th amendment wouldn't. constitutioncenter.org/the-constitu...

Over many decades, we've made good friends in the neighborhood. Some of them have been a little nervous because we are a 7 foot, 300 pound pro-wrestler, but we've helped defend the neighborhood for decades. Now, suddenly, we are going to steal a neighbor's kid because we are bigger and stronger. 🧵

Denmark is offering to buy California, The Netherlands is offering to buy New Amsterdam (Manhattan). While we are having a yard sale, I just want to mention that there are a lot of ethnic Italians and Portuguese in Rhode Island, and that it would be a shame if a bidding war broke out.

TFW the medication Dr A gave you for one issue probably damaged your thyroid, and then you realize that a pain medication from Dr B is probably responsible for damage to your kidneys. 🤦

Realized that I don't know if she will still love me, if she will still feed me, when I'm 65.

If I see "s1e6", I think, "7 bits is a weird size for a floating point number, but ok. I wonder what the exponent offset is?" Then I wonder why they are talking about a tv show.

Contraceptive Nutella used to deflate grey squirrels in Britain. Gift article, but limited uses. 🙄 A weapon that could help red squirrels in their Battle of Britain www.economist.com/britain/2026...

Wow, Kristi said something I believe.

US State Department should issue a level 4 travel advisory for the US. All the criteria match.

We have no health insurance subsidies, and we have Bronze level insurance because there is no Lead or Tin level. Our monthly bill just increased $500 for two people. 🤬

Who better to debate the historical implications of the January 6 Insurrection than Fox News Host Jeannie Pirro (noted critic of the rioters) and current US Attorney Jeanine Pirro (noted defender of the rioters)?

I want to explain to someone what I am doing on Bluesky, but first I need to know the antonym of "banger".

The volume of cremation remains is all about bone mass.

"All mouth and no trousers" Is this about being a little British boy wearing short pants, or is this about that dream where you are talking in front of class and suddenly realize that your lower parts are uncovered?

I wrote section 230 to protect user speech, not a company's own speech. I've long said AI chatbot outputs are not protected by 230 and that it is not a close call. Given that the Trump administration is going to the mat to protect pedophiles, states should step in to hold Musk and X accountable.

1) Putin is protesting Venezuela takeover as a cover for his Venezuela for Ukraine trade. 2) Nobody with a real financial interest actually wants Venezuelan oil fields. They aren't economic. Grandpa is confused. Putin sold Trump a moldy buggywhip factory. 🤦

Waiting for Dutch special forces to seize our criminal president and bring him back to the Hague for prosecution.

We should think of Grok as Elon Musk's fancy printer. Elon Musk's fancy printer is printing child sexual abuse material. Elin Musk's printer printed a note saying the printer apologized. Elon is in jail because he printed CSAM on his printer. Duh.

Side effects and complications from daily aspirin * Stroke * Gastrointestinal bleeding Guidelines say that you should not start taking daily aspirin after 70. (Some say 60.) www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-con....

My kids were born in the late 1900s.

Look to your left. Look to your right. Homeland security wants to deport at least one of the 3 of you.

An official account of the United States government is dreamposting about deporting 80+ million citizens

Of all the people with power who broke the law, I really hope we nail the rich people who bribed trump. All of them in jail. All the CEOs. All the people who paid for a pardon. Unlikely, maybe, but so awesome if it happened.

When you have pain in your left chest and back, radiating to your left arm and jaw, do you call for medical help, or are you an American?