Sauron to speak on the search for the dark lord. $200 at your local community center.

Peter Thiel looking for the antichrist is like me trying to find my glasses when I am wearing them.

My wife told her mother to rank plants in her garden according to how much she loves them, and how much trouble they are, so she can dispose of the high maintenance,yet unlovable plants. Why does this make me nervous?

Remember when the USSR fell apart partly because they couldn't pay the troops? Looking forward to living in the free state of Rhode Island.

Trump trying to figure out how to get the Nobel committee into a boat.

Is this a new civil war, or did we not properly finish the first one?

Is Trump dead again?

Repost to showe thyne appreciacioun for the social media folks at Merriam Webster, the best arounde!

Hegseth is a serial killer. I hope to see him brought to justice.

I'm giving Pete Hesgeth credit for Saving Democracy (tm) by bringing American Military Leaders together today, and wasting their time while cosplaying Leonidas.

I feel like this is a call for help from inside The Times.

My dearest Martha, I send you all my love from this war-torn ravaged place, where our hardships surpass comprehension. Yesterday, a barista gave me a whole milk latte when I specifically ordered skim. Later, a young woman with strangely colored hair glanced at me disapprovingly.

Does the Supreme Court have office birthday parties with cake? Is it awkward?

Subtly downgrade a band Yeah, probably, we'll see.

Being raptured is like when Rover is sent to live on a farm upstate where he chases squirrels all day every day.

Are they gone? Did it work? #RaptureYourProblemsAway

If they're going to try and retcon Charlie Kirk, then we should try to retcon him too.

Oh my god lol This Dutch late night host absolutely eviscerates Trump and Disney- you gotta watch how

Artificial sweeteners make you fat, and cause dementia and stroke. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCKETY fuck fuck fucking fuck! pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC...

Dental floss glides because of PFAS. I've been trying to avoid PFAS, and it turns out I've been flossing my teeth with it. Aaaaaaaaaah!

I have had a dim view of Venezuelan fishing boats because I sail, and some of them are part time pirates. Guns. Knives. Truly dangerous. Blowing up random Venezuelan fishing boats is WRONG!!! When the world is right, everyone involved will go to jail.

If you want to know how bad Charlie Kirk was, he was as bad as what Steven Miller says about Democrats.

The 2nd Venezuelan boat we blew up wasn't even moving when we blew it up. They were just sitting there, and we killed them. This is really upsetting.

Shows for couples to watch: Kung Fu Cooking with Chocolate John Wick Bakes Cakes With Blind Assassin Flower Arranging and Diesel Engine Repair

#ristretto #condensedmilk #cinnamon Nutrition is so important

Right wingers are always accusing us of doing violent stuff, forgetting that we arent the gun people. We know how to spread avocado on toast. Some of us can foam a latte. The rest of us know how to read books in the park. Scaaaaary books in the park.

You know what would be the most amazing distraction from the Epstein files?

#covidbooster in Rhode Island required I check yes on a form asking if I was either over 3 with a condition, or over 65. I was surprised because RI is in a vaccine group, but whatever. Got flu and MMR vaccines as well while I was there.

If the gunman has just shot 6 or 7 random students, it wouldn't even have been a blip on the news. "That's terrible! Anyway..."

We should honor Charlie by posting his best quotes.

Melissa Hortman

Here are some things that Charlie Kirk said in his life. The man is dead, and so it only seems fair to share his legacy by cataloguing the values he spread while alive.

It's ALL distractions, all the way down.

View from a shipping crane in the Gdansk Imperial shipyard. Just because the crane is no longer fit for cargo, doesn't mean it's not good enough for tourists!

You have 3 brothers but only one horse.

A doctor I trust more than RFK JR.

"A stupid person": could be anyone, but the bell curve favors MAGA/MAHA. "The stupidest person": we know who it is.

"A pedofile": we don't know who it is, but probably a youth pastor or a Republican politician. "The Pedophile": we know who it is.

Why is my feed suddenly full of furries? Oh, somehow I'm on Discover. Why is bluesky Discover full of furries? I'm all for furry rights, I had just carelessly assumed that furries were a minority. Are they still furries if they like reptiles?

The American house of representatives ties itself into knots to fight for the billionaire right to pedophilia. Meanwhile, Angie in the British government, who didn't buy enough stamps to mail her flat, has resigned.

Problem: people don't believe in vaccines. Soln: Designate 1 or more volunteer control states with 100% unvaccinated people. Watch the petri dish evolve. Quarantine appropriately. Facilitate refugees.

Ok, I saw the proof of life video. It looks real. They even had a current event (rumors about his timely death). I heartbroken by his untimely survival. Fuck fuck fuck fuckety fucking FUCK!