cunty fish nails

Bad Bunny …. The new Fred Astaire??

I was Glowing earlier because no more Yankees but also … da sun

Too many performative males are wearing either Yankee hats or Dodger hats and frankly, it’s obscene. Transplant signaler. Fake ball knower. Bland and empty. Void of a soul. Morally corrupt phony. Don’t wear a hat at that point, we already know you’re balding :/

4B is objectively the best on the graphite scale

I am SOOOOOO up right now, Yankees eliminated, found 10 bucks on the ground, I am pretty, ate a stellar breakfast sandwich. This is the best day of my life so far

how can you not be romantic about baseball

I prayed to god and my angels to watch over Dolly Parton while the Blue Jays x Yankees game is on and as soon as I concluded the prayer, Anthony Santander singled a line drive and 2 runners scored. I love the Canadian bird team so much

Whenever I get home my phone automatically puts itself on Do Not Disturb mode. That’s so real actually???? Thank you phone

Car doctor said there were no wasps and the one that I saw was a paid actor

went to the thrift because I needed jeans to get wrecked in for studio purposes and I tried them on over my shorts in the aisle because no changing rooms??? and a lady started praying out loud to Jesus to protect me. Thank you lady, the pants fit over my juicy ass perfectly

a button I saw on the ground outside of the museum had a tiny little plant growing through its button hole

car is leaking on the inside, potentially wasps living inside my AC

love to have a cute little crash out about the art I’m making

Iridescent bug slay

playing with shapes for a sculpture

They should invent a gun for scary bugs

Girlhood is literally screaming about bug (pictured! giant cockroach) and then trapping them and releasing them and then another scarier bug (not pictured! many leg type guy, evil) appears and you kill it because this isn’t funny anymore

Infrastructure innovation

What does it mean

can you watch my amulet of the cursed kings while i smoke

relayed an artist talk event today to my friend who couldn’t attend me: okay so she talks about bugs like how I talk about muppets Eliza: [knowing exactly what I mean by that] got it

She’s the best www.vogue.com/article/hann...

I be sneezing allergy style this weekend

At the gyno and the tv has a weird channel on that’s not the food network but a health sponsored recipe station talking about dredging chicken cutlets. Feels like I’m on an alien planet and this is what they think humans are interested in.

I heard too many sounds today and then let out a guttural scream because I was overstimulated but then felt better after. Crazy how that works

I can’t believe my house had a gas leak. crazy sauce

Krista took insane pics of me this weekend

"Yes… Hahaha… Yes!" - Fred Rogers with delight as a child learns how to tie their shoes

watching the NESN trade deadline special in the ER hehe haha yay 🩷 gas leak in da house truly was SO good 🩷 im not upset at all 🩷

416ft BOMB 💣

Excited to go home and watch da gilded age and drink a Zenny Rogers

oh. maybe I wasn’t sad. Maybe it was just the fuckin gas leak in my house????????

getting a blunt dropped to me by my sponsor in The Hunger Games

does anyone know how to leave bed when they’re sad?

doin some family ancestry shit and I fear I am hyperfixating on it hard enough that it will eventually kill me

Benson Boone needs to undelete his mustache right now. Why would he do this. I’m frightened !

I need everyone to leave the museum so I can sob and wail on the clock. I’m sick of sobbing and wailing for free.

Someone I used to work with who I swear was gay just hard launched a normie wife?????

Dinner was freaked crazy style

I have such a beautiful life why tf do I feel so sad!!!!!!!!!

the most important culinary experience to ever exist

I am on my 3rd Diet Coke of the day because I cannot smoke a cigarette

YUP‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

me and Krista are going to the beach and both wearing cheetah print bathing suits lmfaooo we truly are bestie soul mates

10 in a row!!!!!!!

RED SOX 9 IN A ROW!!!! CROCHET PERFECT GAME!!!! LETS GOOOOO

Can’t k111 myself because the cats who visit me would have to live the rest of their lifetime confused about where I went/why I’m not there. I guess I’m gonna have to thug it out and live for the rest of their lifetime. so sick. stellar, even.

so insanely depressed even tho the Red Sox are on a W streak. what da fuck. why isn’t this curing me.

I saw this in Tumblr years ago and it's been living in my head. I've never been able to find it again so I remade it myself.