Hi folks, I'm thinking of offering writing workshops online. Bespoke and small, like my work 😉 Each one will be unique and 1.5 hours long. For non-fiction and fiction, and complete beginners welcome. £12 per workshop. Interested? If so, I'll get something proper together and tell you about it soon ❤️

I'm watching a Winter Olympics themed Blippi with the small boy. It is disgustingly wholesome. Actually good, and small boy is soaking it up. I really want to watch a bloopers real though, I wonder if he's "oh gosh I just fell over" or "@#$& &$#@ @#$&".

This is the the thread you had no idea you needed tonight but YOU ABSOLUTELY DO

Wow. Cold Season must be here. I just realised that the pedastal fan at my desk isn't on. 10am and I'm just starting to feel a bit warmish. Nice!

jiminy

How good is The Internet. I wanted to take a clip of a YouTube song. One quick google later and I found ClipsCutter. It got the job done, for free, love it. Yeah, I could have run something together using yt-dl and probably ffmpeg, but nobody got time for that 🤓 www.clipscutter.com

Very Important Science happening in here

I should call her

Deep Happiness by Steve Cutts youtu.be/e9dZQelULDk?...

Woman in a bar: The restaurant sacked me today. Man: Why? Woman: I dropped a pizza. Face down. From a spiral staircase. Onto a bald man's head.

We're all going to mercilessly mock anyone who purchases the iPhone sock yeah?

You're at Cannibal I need you at Corpse

I'm snickering like a schoolboy en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of... (wife made me a coffee, she put some butterfly peas on top because they're pretty, I looked them up and snickered at the scientific name of the butterfly pea, wikipedia had this in the See Also, ooh err that's rude!)

We are in the future. I hummed a few tracks at this, it got them all. Amazeballs. Wish this was around 33 years ago when I got Under The Bridge stuck in my head, but I didn't know the name of the track because the DJ didn't back announce it.

Lock her up and throw away the key. Granddaughter just put ketchup ON SALMON 😱😱😱

Haha, go that man. The judge doesn't quite know what to do "ok, well, uh..." www.thenewdaily.com.au/life/social-...

@smashrun.bsky.social Anyone had a longer gap than this? I'm a walker, not a runner, went HARD for a few years back in Aus. Moved to Thailand and could no longer get out for walks without melting into a puddle. Chucked the shoes on start of the month during school hols. Now getting up at 5am 😆

Timeline cleanse 🧵

Granddaughters first natural tooth falling out happened tonight. She wrote (copied) a letter to the toothfairy asking for money, in English. The toothfairy just wrote back in Thai. Boy, the toothfairy has shocking Thai handwriting and took 30+ minutes to copy 5 lines of Thai text 😆

People who don't reply to emails grind my gears. Rude inconsiderate assholes. That's it. Send bleet/skeet.

WTF

Man, the double standards are pretty bad. When Mr 18 months old runs giggling through the loungeroom with no trousers on, willy waving in the wind, wife laughs. If I do the same thing, she yells at me!

I used to be cool, man

I accidentally tried a new thing today On the left: an OG farmhouse vanilla custard filled donut cake. On the right: a new (to me) farmhouse corn custard filled donut cake. It's also got chunks of corn in it. If you're in a hurry, don't just grab "the yellow one" or you'll get a chunky surprise

Had a safari issue. Thought I'd try BrowserStack to see what's going on. Signed up for a trial. The trial gives you 1 whole minute of testing time. 1 minute. What the fudge can we do in 1 minute? Utter twats. It takes more than 1 minute to navigate to the problem child page.

Washing machine shit itself, do it's laundromat for a bit. There's two near me. 24wash is my choice. Dual language signs 😍 Chonky boy 18kg washer 💪 Super simple control panel 🤪 Easy to use app 🙏 I want an app like this for our Samsung!

This will never not be funny. I actually quite like it too. Probably because I've not done a two or three bottle bender with it. I imagine it gives a decent hangover.

And then I was That Guy holding up the line. I had a discount coupon. It is inside the Bangkok Bank app. Lady behind the counter though I was trying to do the "show barcode to pay". Wife wasn't listening, just looking at the queue behind me telling me to do what the lady said 🤬

That's rough. Took granddaughter to Teenoi for her 8th birthday. She's tall for her age, 130cm+, they charged me adult prices for her 🤬

Haha, asked chatgpt to translate something to Thai for me, then put the result back through google to double check the result. Glad I did, I reckon I'll not put that first line into the Line group😅

I am quite proud of this photo. Every year, work has a getaway. Everyone goes, has dinner, networks, etc. I am UNBELIEVABLY shy. Brain locks up at the thought of interacting with strangers in real time. Incredibly uncomfortable. This year, I decided to walk up and say "hi" to someone. Go me!

*thumps chest* I did a thing! Pressure for the shower has been getting worse and worse. I finally got around to doing some troubleshooting. Turns out it was the tap itself. Off to Home Pro, sales dude took me straight to a similar looking tap, back home and installed it, fantastic pressure again!

Vale Patricia Routledge. I hope she's got a private, slimline, white telephone with last number redial in her afterlife. Keeping Up Appearances is right up there on my top lists of things to watch. Loved that show.

I failed the first rule of Lazada - when buying a brand name, make only do it through a Mall store. Bought wife a milk frother. They're 100 baht, I splurged 230 on an "Electrolux" one. Surprise surprise, it's not. Not worth the hassle getting a refund. It works. It just doesn't have the branding.

Yesterday I decided that since it's school holidays, I'll go for a walk in the morning. Left the house 7am, got back 8am, it was really pleasant. Left a smidge later this morning, 7:15am. No cloud cover. FFFFUUUU that was unpleasant. The sun was HOT! Got it done (about 4km) but yuck.

Man, the alcohol advertising laws in this country suck. I'd just like to go to the makro/big c/lotus's/cj websites and see how much a slab/box/case/carton of beer is. See if anyone has specials (do they even do beer on special here?). But, no, I have to schlep around town with a notepad.

Anyone else "Hi Hungry, I'm Dad" themselves? I can't be the only one?

I win! Every now and again I get a pre-paid visa as a reward for some market research type stuff. They're hard to use the whole lot on though, particularly when they're in USD and I'm buying in THB. I just got one of them down to $0.05 USD by purchasing a 41 baht item. I reckon that one's done!

The hair on my arms stood up when I realised what track it was remixing. So good. When the drums start, so good. www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBNk...

Wow. Thanks semantic satiation, good timing. One of our clients does a lot of stuff with school booklists. So, I've been staring at the word school for a while now. It just lost all meaning. It's utter gibberish. It doesn't look like any word I know. Must be bed time.

Doesn't get much fresher than this. Dancing shrimp. Sadly we had to take them home and they'd stopped dancing in the 30 minutes that took.

I was away for 2 weeks and didn't have much time for Bsky. I've just finished catching up with @georgepenney.bsky.social's posts (spaced them out over a few days as a treat) and my heart is full of joy at the world. Thank you George.

Seems the rain has surprised the city council, and other parents. There were floods this morning. Traffic was bedlam. Luckily I foresaw that there'd be more cars and left 15 minutes early, avoided most of the snarl. Just got a message "come pick your kids up from school 90 mins early today". GAH

I appear to have awoken the Beer Is Good on my recent trip back to Melbourne. I'd go months and months without even thinking about beer. Thinking seriously that is, I could joke about beer with guys from work, but still not drink. 10 days in Aus, drinking most days, and suddenly I'm THIRSTY at home.

Seems that the rain has surprised Granddaughters school. They were supposed to have school sports last week. Bounced late last week to early this week due to the oval being rained on. Just got bounced again to late October due to the oval still being a mud puddle 🤦‍♂️

Konec prepaid SIM from Australia has cool packaging!

I also had trouble re entering the country. They were suspicious that my visa was issued in 2019 (I heard the gate lady telling the supervisor I didn't HAVE a visa 😱). Original Visa was in my old passport (which I had with me), so they had to go through and check everything 3 times. 15 minute delay.

Instructions unclear. Ate bag. Did nothing.

What a load of shit. Can't take a bottle of water? Fuck you Australia

Dunno what that immigration officer was looking at in my passport, but fuck he took his sweet time. It's a new passport, never flown with it. Just got visa and official stuff in it, no entry or exit stamps. I do not like the e gates at exit at swampy 😱