Read more: theshovel.com.au/2025/05/20/l...

Read more: theshovel.com.au/2026/01/22/a...

Katter marched directly to Canberra Airport, muttering angrily about “gotcha journalism” and “political correctness gone mad". theshovel.com.au/2026/01/22/b...

Read more: theshovel.com.au/2026/01/21/s...

Pollsters within the party are currently on their toes testing groundbreaking new counting methods. theshovel.com.au/2026/01/20/o...

Tennis Australia has confirmed it has finally nailed the full Ticketmaster experience in a live setting, with thousands of fans at Melbourne Park spending hours standing still, trying unsuccessfully to refresh themselves and slowly going mad. theshovel.com.au/2026/01/20/a...

“I just assumed that, like everything else in my life, this Change The Date thing would leave me alone eventually,” complained the Cronulla man. theshovel.com.au/2026/01/19/w...

“We know Mr Trump is looking to take over a cold, remote, largely uninhabited island. Here’s a chance to snap up two,” a spokesperson for the deal said. Read more: theshovel.com.au/2025/01/08/a...

“When it happens in Minnesota it’s called ‘law and order’; when it happens in Iran it’s a war crime" Read more: theshovel.com.au/2026/01/15/t...

The White House has flagged the situation as an amazing opportunity for the Iranian people to do something that could bring joy to countless fossil fuel executives. theshovel.com.au/2026/01/14/t...

Rudd explained his resignation was “punctiliously evaluated for optimal bi-lateral efficacy, following appropriate processes and natural complementarity, as a vital repudiation to the contemporary proclivities of the residing executive branch.” Read more: theshovel.com.au/2026/01/13/r...

The organisers say they are committed to delivering a grammatically-correct event, rebranding the festival to reflect the number of authors now involved. theshovel.com.au/2026/01/13/a...

$100,000 would cover an American doctor briefly asking, “So what brings you in today?” before referring the patient to a specialist who is not covered by their insurance. Read more: theshovel.com.au/2026/01/12/t...

"We tend to find that sending out ‘thoughts and prayers’ and saying ‘now is not the time to talk about this’ is a more efficient way to learn from our mass shootings”. theshovel.com.au/2026/01/12/a...

England captain Ben Stokes said the team had been careful not to breach the six-month single-employer rule. theshovel.com.au/2026/01/09/e...

“He’s not bogged down by details. He just knows what he wants and follows his nose,” one MAGA fan said. theshovel.com.au/2026/01/08/d...

“What happened to Eleven? Where were the Demogorgons in the final battle? Is Byler canon? The Australian public deserves to know,” said the PM. theshovel.com.au/2026/01/07/a...

“Not a lot of people know this, but until I bought it today, Greenland was actually a territory of Nigeria, not Denmark,” Trump said in a post on Truth Social. theshovel.com.au/2025/01/07/n...

“When they said ‘private jet’, ‘no phones’, ‘New York billionaire’ and ‘we’ll explain later’, I assumed it was going that way,” Maduro said. theshovel.com.au/2026/01/06/m...

"At least Maduro wasn't on the Epstein List," said one Caracas — now Car-a-Lago — local. theshovel.com.au/2026/01/06/v...

“I’m not racist or anything, I just think they're loud and annoying and shouldn’t be allowed in America,” said the man who last saw a map in third grade.  theshovel.com.au/2026/01/05/m...

We called this in November

FIFA said invading a sovereign nation and forcefully removing its leader was exactly the type of peace they had in mind when awarding the prize.

Trump Says US Will Occupy Venezuela for As Long as It Takes To Distract From Epstein Files

A Melbourne man says this year will be the year he stops getting uptight about grammar, errors.

With just hours until the end of the year, fathers across the country were today preparing ways to slip their hilarious ‘see you next year’ joke into their conversations on New Year’s Eve. Full details: theshovel.com.au/2024/12/29/nations-dad-start-preparing-see-you-next-year-jokes/

Under the eviction order, Andrew has been offered smaller public accommodation nearby, believed to be the Frogmore Cottage complex, previously occupied by another young couple forced to leave after ‘differences with management’. Read more: theshovel.com.au/2025/10/31/m...

“We’re sick of these people coming here and changing things,” one protester said, before listing 48 things he would like to see change. Read more: theshovel.com.au/2025/09/02/i...

“Autism from Panadol Rapid takes effect twice as fast as regular Panadol,” Kennedy Jr said through his interpreter. Read more: theshovel.com.au/2025/09/23/w...

“Your behaviour shows the highest of contempt for all that our society holds sacred; it is morally reprehensible,” the judge told the two dozen podcasters inside Erin’s courtroom. Read more: theshovel.com.au/2025/08/26/e...

“We’re predicting him to get somewhere between level three and the Channel 7 blimp,” one observer said. Read more: theshovel.com.au/2025/08/14/s...

In 2019 Claus wrote on Twitter: “Just checked the naughty list. Trump isn’t on it because fuckwits require a separate category." theshovel.com.au/2025/12/26/s...

“I have no idea why he avoided them. I put them on a special plate, just so I knew they weren’t for me,” said an upset Patterson. Read the full story: theshovel.com.au/2025/12/24/s...

“The only thing that would make me more attracted to Sydney was if she were my daughter,” said the President. Read more: theshovel.com.au/2025/08/05/t...

“I thought I was listening to a ceremonial military band. Turns out it was just Trump yelling about Hillary Clinton’s emails." Read more: theshovel.com.au/2025/07/28/b...

In a difficult but ultimately necessary family conversation, parents across England have begun sitting their children down to explain that, despite what they may have heard on television and social media, Bazball is actually just something adults made up.

Costs are expected to blow out, as more spending is required to train elite personnel to drive a manual car. Read more: theshovel.com.au/2025/07/01/n...

Channel Nine tastefully covered the Papal election, plunging unsuccessful cardinals into a Dunk Tank. Read more: theshovel.com.au/2025/05/09/n...

Howard reminded Australians that creating unity is vital during times of national grief, but turning people against each other for political gain is often easier. theshovel.com.au/2025/12/19/h...

Like the Liberal Party’s governing style, the vehicle arrived unannounced, massively inconvenienced everyone, broke a whole heap of shit and then left. Read more: theshovel.com.au/2025/04/23/l...

“Christ, is everyone going to tell me what to do with this kid? First an angel, and now some guy with a brain worm? Give me a fucking break,” said the Blessed Mother. theshovel.com.au/2025/12/18/v...

He said that if he is ever invited back, he will make sure to urinate on the carpet and loot the building before meeting with the President. “I just want to show my respect”. Read more: theshovel.com.au/2025/03/01/z...

England's cricket team say their relaxing golf holiday in Noosa has been “completely derailed” by the sudden and unexpected requirement to play cricket today. theshovel.com.au/2025/12/17/e...

Customs officials have been given the green light to use lethal force on any teens they suspect may have photoshopped JD Vance. Read more: theshovel.com.au/2025/12/13/a...

The nation said they would try not to reintroduce the devastating disease, but if they did, it was a small price to pay for owning the libs. Read more: theshovel.com.au/2025/02/25/g...

The White House said it wanted a typeface that more closely aligned with the decorum, direction and values of the Trump Administration. theshovel.com.au/2025/12/12/w...

“Millions of Aussie teens are going to wake up each morning without an unintentional briefing on the bombing of Yemen — that's a huge national risk," warned one security expert. theshovel.com.au/2025/12/11/s...

“Well… we found ways to keep busy,” 74-year-old Bob said, at a pre-Christmas lunch attended by seventeen of his children. theshovel.com.au/2025/12/11/k...

Read more: theshovel.com.au/2025/12/11/r...

“You could of course experiment with other lower-quality products made locally in the US, but you’d risk looking fucking ridiculous," said Albo. Read more: theshovel.com.au/2025/02/11/t...