A Sydney woman heading away on holidays for 72 hours has packed four dozen dresses, 50 t-shirts and 11 pairs of jeans, just in case. theshovel.com.au/2026/04/30/w...

Legislation is also being drafted to require all hotel light switches to be positioned in the least obvious place possible. theshovel.com.au/2026/04/28/e...

“Getting something for nothing really only applies if you’re a multi-billion-dollar multinational company. The idea that you’d be able to access essential health care without having to pay for it is a bit ridiculous. theshovel.com.au/2026/04/24/n...

Fact-checkers accused Trump of spreading misinformation, as the strait was actually formed during the late Cretaceous period. Read more: theshovel.com.au/2026/04/22/t...

Sources inside the negotiation say that early optimism collapsed within minutes of opening statements, when a British delegate confidently offered ‘HOR-muzz’ and was immediately countered by an American counterpart’s ‘hor-MOOZE’. theshovel.com.au/2026/04/22/m...

The tech giant boasted its sleek new model for CEO will be a major upgrade to the previous version in several completely unnoticeable ways. Read the full story: theshovel.com.au/2026/04/21/n...

The remaining eight percent of screen time is spent shutting pop-up boxes about joining a website’s newsletter. theshovel.com.au/2026/04/20/9...

“It’s grown so much; so much. And somehow I let it drift away." theshovel.com.au/2026/04/17/g...

"This policy does not play favorites, it does not judge people based on color, and I won't apologize for it.” theshovel.com.au/2026/04/15/t...

“Nothing says ‘traditional Australian values’ like praising your own Facebook post using your own Facebook profile." theshovel.com.au/2026/04/15/a...

Hospital administrators confirmed that the treatment depicted in the image was not covered under the man’s insurance policy. theshovel.com.au/2026/04/14/p...

As part of the interactive exhibit, visitors will be able to take out their ‘weapon’, aim and then fire indiscriminately, just as Ben would have done. theshovel.com.au/2023/06/06/w...

The US has declared victory, saying it has achieved its objectives of spending tens of billions of dollars and causing thousands of deaths in order to return things to roughly as they were before the war started. Read more: theshovel.com.au/2026/04/08/us-claims-huge-victory-straight-of-hormuz/

There’s quite a lot going on in the war crimes space right now, it has been confirmed. theshovel.com.au/2026/04/08/b...

Trump said he would not hesitate to drop an explosive, strongly worded new deadline if his demands weren’t met. theshovel.com.au/2026/04/07/t...

The Best Dealmaker the World Has Ever Known is beginning to realise that starting a war with a hostile nation of 90 million people is a little more complicated than buying an apartment block in Manhattan. Full story: theshovel.com.au/2026/03/18/worlds-greatest-negotiator-a-bit-out-of-his-depth-now/

Shoppers are absolutely furious after noticing that hot cross buns are already on supermarket shelves across the country despite the fact it is almost a year until Easter.

In an uncanny scheduling coincidence, the world’s largest Chocolate Festival will again fall on the same weekend as the Christian festival marking Jesus’ death.

Confirming that the national televised address was now his preferred form of communication, The Prime Minister will this evening use a thirty-minute broadcast to call for calm about the troubling increase in incredibly weird hot cross bun flavours. Read more: theshovel.com.au/2026/04/02/a...

“We’re announcing the deployment of an extra 12,000 troops to help finalise how completely we’ve already won and bring the already finalised mission to a final conclusion,” a White House spokesperson said. theshovel.com.au/2026/04/01/w...

Though economists debate whether the $20 per rabbit pricetag comes from supply chain shortages or Lindt price gouging, there is consensus that it’s infinitely better than eating the cheap shit. theshovel.com.au/2026/03/30/g...

I thought she did quite a good job of impersonating empathy, but you could tell it wasn’t real. I guess that’s something that you can’t fake,” an attendee noted. theshovel.com.au/2026/03/27/n...

The Australian delegation used the offer as a bargaining chip, arguing that goon held just as much cultural significance as the terms Prosecco, Champagne, or Bordeaux. theshovel.com.au/2026/03/26/a...

Trump said he used the talks to demand that Iran should never be able to build a nuclear weapon, a proposal he claimed the umbrellas did not oppose. theshovel.com.au/2026/03/25/t...

Donald Trump has told aides he has finished playing the Iran game now and someone else can clean it up. theshovel.com.au/2026/03/24/b...

Barron said he would have loved to have fought for the US in a future war in Iran but unfortunately he has a sore foot. theshovel.com.au/2025/06/23/b...

"Just like you always wanted, and like I always promised to give you with no hesitation whatsoever," Trump said. theshovel.com.au/2026/03/19/t...

If I’m going to be carding every single customer without checking whether they’re home anyway, then I may as well get the cards done first,” he explained. theshovel.com.au/2026/03/19/a...

A spokesperson from Domino's said the company was thrilled to finally find an ethical use for its product. theshovel.com.au/2026/03/18/f...

MAGA enthusiasts insist Trump knows what he is doing: “Oil prices are rising, international trade is under threat, people are dying and everything is getting worse. As usual, Trump has all of the leverage here." theshovel.com.au/2026/03/18/w...

“He used to rev the engine whenever he left the driveway. Now he just sort of rolls down the hill in neutral,” one neighbour said. theshovel.com.au/2026/03/18/d...

The 63-year-old man who bought his first inner-city four-bedroom house for under $70k in the 1980s says young people complaining about interest rate rises don’t know how good they’ve got it. theshovel.com.au/2022/05/04/i...

"Our efforts have altered the Wikipedia entry on Iran’s leadership forever." theshovel.com.au/2026/03/16/u...

“Why stop at IVF? If we’re serious about boosting the birth rate, we should be looking at coal-fired wombs as well." theshovel.com.au/2026/03/13/m...

Read more: theshovel.com.au/2026/03/11/n...

“The problem with setting objectives before a war begins is that it requires thinking, which can be a real bore. We’ve found it’s best to keep things flexible and just make it up as we go. It keeps the narrative fresh,” a White House spokesperson said. theshovel.com.au/2026/03/11/w...

Analysts theorise the PM won’t hesitate to deploy ground troops to Iran if the price of beer is also impacted. theshovel.com.au/2026/03/10/a...

Australia has millions more women than first expected, a post-election analysis by the Liberal Party has found.

"What people want is two very angry men talking over the top of each other while they escalate a discussion about their dinner plans into a police matter." theshovel.com.au/2026/03/05/s...

Kyle repeatedly exploited Jackie’s emotional honesty to create cheap content and reframed his inappropriate remarks as ‘just being honest’. theshovel.com.au/2026/03/04/j...

“This isn’t like sanctions. This is irreversible. Once you’ve seen Melania you can’t unsee it. The effects could last for years”. theshovel.com.au/2026/01/30/m...

The MAGA diehard shared a compelling commonsense argument as to why another Middle East war is precisely what he voted for. theshovel.com.au/2026/03/03/k...

A spokesperson for FIFA said invading a sovereign nation and forcefully killing its leader was exactly the type of peace they had in mind when awarding the prize. theshovel.com.au/2026/03/01/f...

“If the United States has concerns about <INSERT COUNTRY HERE>, then we also have concerns about <INSERT COUNTRY HERE>. theshovel.com.au/2026/03/02/a...

“You have got to be fucking kidding,” the Rest of the World has remarked, as the US entered yet another war in the Middle East without any clear motive, strategy, objectives, popular support, succession plan or exit arrangement, leading to suspicions it has no fucking idea what it is doing.

Vaping Increases Risk of Looking Fucking Ridiculous, Study Shows

Developers have confirmed that the newly announced Trump Tower on the Gold Coast will require a daily application of fake tan to reproduce its namesake’s signature orange glow. theshovel.com.au/2026/02/25/g...

“Sometimes as Prime Minister you need to make the tough calls." theshovel.com.au/2026/02/25/b...

“Until now she just assumed they were two separate evils that could be tackled individually. The realisation hit her pretty hard,” a One Nation staffer said. theshovel.com.au/2016/07/05/f...

Read more: theshovel.com.au/2026/02/24/t...