“There was peace before. Then for some reason there wasn’t. And now there is peace again." theshovel.com.au/2026/06/15/u...

"We're always on the lookout for qualified candidates." Read more: theshovel.com.au/2026/06/15/f...

“You know how I’ve got this special gift where I can go to a house auction and tell you how long the people bidding have lived here for, just by looking at them? Well I can do that with elite sports players too"

Man Who Supports One Nation and Socceroos Suffers Mental Breakdown After Former Refugee Scores World Cup Goal

"When Pauline said 'foreign-born,' I thought she meant, you know ..." theshovel.com.au/2026/06/11/i...

The US launched strikes against Iran overnight, in retaliation for Iran downing a US helicopter in the wake of the match. Iran has also blamed the escalation on the Knicks.  Read more: theshovel.com.au/2026/06/10/k...

“We’re going to find this Mexican and send him back immediately." Read More: theshovel.com.au/2026/06/05/t...

“Having a baby is not like your wife or your political party. You can’t just leave it when you decide it’s not the one you want." theshovel.com.au/2026/06/04/b...

“We simply can’t have this extra demand driving up prices and making it impossible young people to get into the property market. Unless it’s in my suburb, in which case it’s called ‘capital growth’ which is totally different." theshovel.com.au/2026/06/04/g...

A Florida woman says she may need to compete at Wimbledon just so she can afford to fill up her car. theshovel.com.au/2026/06/03/c...

“I’ve just typed in a search for ‘nuclear submarines’ within a 15,000 km radius of Canberra." theshovel.com.au/2026/06/01/a...

The new merged festival – to be named The Running of the Cheese – will involve several hundred participants being chased by enraged bulls down an almost-vertical hill while attempting to grab a 4-kilogram wheel of Double Gloucester cheese. theshovel.com.au/2026/05/29/g...

"Under no circumstances should anyone try to touch RFK Jr without proper training and safety gear. You have no idea what diseases it might be carrying." Read more: theshovel.com.au/2026/05/28/s...

Coalition MPs have privately expressed concern that Opposition Leader Taylor’s proposed welfare crackdown on migrants could be interpreted by voters as blatantly racist, despite repeated assurances from Taylor’s office that the racism is purely economic in nature. theshovel.com.au/2026/05/28/c...

“If they leave the parcel, it’s not us”, a spokesperson said. theshovel.com.au/2026/05/27/a...

"While there are understandable concerns about abandoning the florin, I believe our supporters are ready for the change.” theshovel.com.au/2026/05/25/n...

The demonstration saw dozens of distressed millionaires waving handmade signs reading “HOW MANY INVESTMENT PROPERTIES IS ENOUGH? LET THE MARKET DECIDE” and “FIRST THEY CAME FOR OUR DISCRETIONARY TRUSTS”. theshovel.com.au/2026/05/21/f...

“Very powerful light, very beautiful light. Some people are saying it could go right through the body, right through the organs, and just clean the whole thing out." Read more: theshovel.com.au/2026/05/20/t...

"It beautifully captures the essence of Australia’s 30th Prime Minister. There is a complete absence of a hose. But there’s also the subtle suggestion that he might be about to explain why this is actually someone else’s responsibility" theshovel.com.au/2026/05/18/s...

Donald Trump received some honest feedback via a fortune cookie yesterday, at a special banquet held in his honour in China. Read more: theshovel.com.au/2026/05/15/trump-opens-brutally-honest-fortune-cookie-at-chinese-state-banquet/

“Ordinary Australians may soon be forced to settle for owning only the house they actually live in." theshovel.com.au/2026/05/15/t...

Xi said he was proud of the special relationship between the two countries that allowed American consumers to purchase Chinese-made goods and for Chinese consumers to also purchase Chinese-made goods. theshovel.com.au/2026/05/14/x...

“I had planned to just have a few investment properties to set me up for retirement, but I guess now I’ll be operating an offshore LNG platform instead”. theshovel.com.au/2026/05/13/h...

“When I'm Prime Minister, I promise to achieve the same result in the electorates of New England, Parks, Indi, and Marona,” Pauline told an amazed crowd. theshovel.com.au/2026/05/12/z...

"Trump Says Iran War Will Be Over In 2 Weeks," read the world's headlines for the eighth week in a row. theshovel.com.au/2026/05/12/w...

“People have had enough of the hand-out culture that’s taken over this country." theshovel.com.au/2026/05/11/h...

Donald Trump says the US’s war with Iran will not end until the war has achieved its primary objective of allowing safe passage through a body of water that was closed due to the US’s war with Iran. theshovel.com.au/2026/05/08/u...

Australian households will have to cut spending and pay more on their mortgages because an emotionally stunted, validation-obsessed man-child 15,000 kilometres away wants to look tough. theshovel.com.au/2026/05/06/i...

Read more: theshovel.com.au/2026/05/05/s...

The luxury jet – nicknamed the Please XPlane – was due to make its maiden voyage this morning before being indefinitely delayed by what aviation officials are calling “a code Barnaby”. theshovel.com.au/2026/05/04/p...

“We wanted to create a travel document that uniquely reflects President Trump’s tastes and interests." theshovel.com.au/2026/05/01/c...

A Sydney woman heading away on holidays for 72 hours has packed four dozen dresses, 50 t-shirts and 11 pairs of jeans, just in case. theshovel.com.au/2026/04/30/w...

Legislation is also being drafted to require all hotel light switches to be positioned in the least obvious place possible. theshovel.com.au/2026/04/28/e...

“Getting something for nothing really only applies if you’re a multi-billion-dollar multinational company. The idea that you’d be able to access essential health care without having to pay for it is a bit ridiculous. theshovel.com.au/2026/04/24/n...

Fact-checkers accused Trump of spreading misinformation, as the strait was actually formed during the late Cretaceous period. Read more: theshovel.com.au/2026/04/22/t...

Sources inside the negotiation say that early optimism collapsed within minutes of opening statements, when a British delegate confidently offered ‘HOR-muzz’ and was immediately countered by an American counterpart’s ‘hor-MOOZE’. theshovel.com.au/2026/04/22/m...

The tech giant boasted its sleek new model for CEO will be a major upgrade to the previous version in several completely unnoticeable ways. Read the full story: theshovel.com.au/2026/04/21/n...

The remaining eight percent of screen time is spent shutting pop-up boxes about joining a website’s newsletter. theshovel.com.au/2026/04/20/9...

“It’s grown so much; so much. And somehow I let it drift away." theshovel.com.au/2026/04/17/g...

"This policy does not play favorites, it does not judge people based on color, and I won't apologize for it.” theshovel.com.au/2026/04/15/t...

“Nothing says ‘traditional Australian values’ like praising your own Facebook post using your own Facebook profile." theshovel.com.au/2026/04/15/a...

Hospital administrators confirmed that the treatment depicted in the image was not covered under the man’s insurance policy. theshovel.com.au/2026/04/14/p...

As part of the interactive exhibit, visitors will be able to take out their ‘weapon’, aim and then fire indiscriminately, just as Ben would have done. theshovel.com.au/2023/06/06/w...

The US has declared victory, saying it has achieved its objectives of spending tens of billions of dollars and causing thousands of deaths in order to return things to roughly as they were before the war started. Read more: theshovel.com.au/2026/04/08/us-claims-huge-victory-straight-of-hormuz/

There’s quite a lot going on in the war crimes space right now, it has been confirmed. theshovel.com.au/2026/04/08/b...

Trump said he would not hesitate to drop an explosive, strongly worded new deadline if his demands weren’t met. theshovel.com.au/2026/04/07/t...

The Best Dealmaker the World Has Ever Known is beginning to realise that starting a war with a hostile nation of 90 million people is a little more complicated than buying an apartment block in Manhattan. Full story: theshovel.com.au/2026/03/18/worlds-greatest-negotiator-a-bit-out-of-his-depth-now/

Shoppers are absolutely furious after noticing that hot cross buns are already on supermarket shelves across the country despite the fact it is almost a year until Easter.

In an uncanny scheduling coincidence, the world’s largest Chocolate Festival will again fall on the same weekend as the Christian festival marking Jesus’ death.

Confirming that the national televised address was now his preferred form of communication, The Prime Minister will this evening use a thirty-minute broadcast to call for calm about the troubling increase in incredibly weird hot cross bun flavours. Read more: theshovel.com.au/2026/04/02/a...