Missed my calling to be the brashy alto in a trio of doo-wop backup singers for 50s Christmas music.

Bluesky apparently thinks I was to see more of the following things in my feed: - cool looking mushrooms - political cartoons - cringey thirst traps of middle aged divorced dads at the gym with mid gains & sad eyes How do I tell them that I only want 2 of these things?

Someone asked me a good question on here. How do we stop ICE from violating our constitutional rights. We don't. Our local elected officials do that job. Our Governor, or Sheriffs our mayors, Police. They stop ICE. With force if necessary. That's how you stop ICE from pulling us out of our homes.

My husband woke up early to go into the office and decorate for the holidays before all his coworkers arrived. Who is this person I’ve married?!

I have been awake for 30 hours. How am I not tired?

There are worse faces to wake up to.

If Spotify hits me with another sloppy AI wrapped this year I will cry about it.

Can we like… not invade Venezuela and just tell him we did?

I just want to write silly little songs, play D&D with my friends, and live in a society that doesn’t make me want to explode like the Death Star in that Star Wars movie. Or that other Star Wars movie. Honestly a lot of Death Stars exploding in these films. Somebody should look into that.

I have a 4 day vacation if I can simply survive the next 8 working hours.

I refuse to work when it is dark outside. This is lame.

Kim Davis, I know that lots of things that were popular in the early 00s are coming back. Bless your heart, you have not made the cut. Please take your backwoods attitude & hairstyle and kindly never appear in my newsfeed ever again.

Way to go, Sandwich Guy!

Taking a break from being stressed out about the news to being stressed out about sports.

Trump has time to post his tacky bathroom photos, build his bunker ballroom and start a war with Venezuela but no time to negotiate the government reopening. Cool. No. Single. Person voted for him to start another war or to play interior decorator.

❌👑 ARE YOU ALL READY TO DEFEND THIS DEMOCRACY? We will not bend. We will not bow. We will not cower. We will defend our humanity. We will tear down tyranny & we will do it TOGETHER. NO KINGS!!! ~Mayor Brandon Johnson @mayorofchicago.bsky.social Oct 18 ✊ Chicago, JOIN WITH US ➡️ takeactionchicago.org

Scream singing, “pull the sheets right off the corner of the mattress that you stole from your roommate back in Boulder. We ain’t never getting older!” But here’s the thing, I’m older.

ChatGPT’s new Atlas browser doesn’t just see what you read — it remembers it. @eff.org’s Lena Cohen showed me it even logged “memories” of her looking for *abortion care* and her doctor’s name. Out-surveils even Chrome. My @washingtonpost.com column: wapo.st/49bOcVC

Has anyone tried just screaming loudly until it stops?

If how 47 tweets is how he DMs… we need look for no further proof. The man is unhinged.

I used to drive up & down the 5, past Camp Pendleton at least once a week when I lived out in SoCal. The fact that they are deploying live artillery over one of the busiest highways in America is mind boggling stupid for multiple reasons but all I can think about is how much worse it made traffic.

The Netflix documentary about the Napoleon jewelry heist at the Louvre is gonna be hilarious.

Of course women don’t like the cybertruck. Women only want one thing & it’s obviously the Pussy Wagon.

Justice for the Chicago Squirrel Hole.

A haunted house but it's just a nation without public education.

I’m a bitch I’m a boss I’m a bitch I’m a boss and I smell like moss I’m a bitch I’m a bo

Cosplay cowboys out here.

We can never replace nature. The reason unspoiled natural spaces are so beautiful are because they are just that; unspoiled. Once our old growth forests are gone, they are gone. The rape of everything I love in this country continues. Fuck me, happy Sunday I guess.

Chicago Frogs stand in solidarity with Portland Frogs! 🐸✊

Politicians are not celebrities and we should never treat them as such. But, @duckworth.senate.gov f*cking rules!

We’re unhappy and I hope we’re also letting more than just Chicago know. This is an invasion. This is illegal. You can’t like small government while also using the military on its own people. They are provoking violence & kidnapping people. Please help. #handsoffchicago #getout #stopice

Pritzker: "It's unconscionable. This has never happened before. They're calling out troops onto the streets of a state that doesn't want them and they're not even telling us where they're gonna go, what they're gonna do. This hasn't happened I don't think since the Civil War."

Kiki Rockwell giving me life this morning. Hope all the ICE agents in Chicago are having the day they deserve. 🖕 open.spotify.com/track/16Ggpc...

"Terrible things are happening outside. Poor helpless people are being dragged out of their homes. Families are torn apart. Men, women, and children are separated. Children come home from school to find that their parents have disappeared." Diary of Anne Frank January 13, 1943

"How to Report ICE" 10/2: Buffalo, CA, Chicago, CO, DC Metro, DE, FL, Indianapolis, KC Metro, MD, MA, NC Triangle, much of NJ, NM, NYC, Phoenix, Philly, Pittsburgh, Portland OR, RI, Rochester NY, St. Louis Metro, St. Peter & Mankato MN, VA, WI, WY San Francisco in Spanish tinyurl.com/mupyyr2x

I had an employee who told me they had something important to tell me earlier this year. When we jumped on our Zoom I was like, “Oh! I see why you called this meeting! You got bangs!?!” And she laughed and said, “I know! It’s such a big change! Also, I’m quitting.”

Another day another shout into the void.

Spotify is going to have a panic attack if I don’t listen to this new Tate McRae song.

“Anti-ICE” carved into the bullet by another person whose entire family said they weren’t political. 😒 Really?! Are they THAT unoriginal?

Also fuck Netanyahu.

Nandor the Relentless resting on the fireplace mantle under the watchful eye of Cthulhu. Oh to be a housecat.

I wish that ANTIFA was a real organization. Mostly because I know the snack situation at their community organizing events would be lit.

Not to be obnoxiously hipster about it but I was saying Abolish ICE before it was cool.

Ugh, I need to sleep so this week can just be over already.

Stop. Posting. Pictures. Of. Mangled. Animals. Animal abuse is horrible & everyone agrees it horrible. It’s extremely traumatic to see on every trending discovery feed without so much as a TW. Stop it.

*US Govt Lies.* Citizens: Ummm… sounds like a lie? US Gov: Nope & in fact we’re doubling down on how truthfully truth this is. Citizens: Sus? US Gov: How dare you question!?! We’ll deport, cancel you, smear you. *After statue of limitations passes* US Gov: Oh, yea, we big lied to you.

So #carvana sucks. In case anyone was wondering. Makes sense that even when companies market themselves as “easy” and “customer service focused” that it’s just marketing. No business actually does what they say they do. Can’t believe I keep getting my hopes up.

Don’t actual police officers and FBI agents get frustrated with how hard they’ve worked to get to their position, just to be told to support & babysit these incompetent, out of shape, fascist ICE cosplayers?

"…and Magda Goebbels made a great strudel.”

Cabinet Cat Caturday