We aren’t clear on her certifications since she just showed up on the porch one day, but we’ll let it slide for the sake of piggly patient comfort.

unfortunately the blob has run into some serious medical issues and his people could use a financial hand gofund.me/e837f1a1c

"I love the smell of napalm in the morning!" RIP Robert Duvall

The drunk uncle theory. You don’t argue with the casually homophobic uncle at Thanksgiving dinner to change his mind; you argue so that the closeted cousin at the kids table knows there’s safe people and better possibilities out there

Dinosaur Valley State Park in Texas is in danger. Please help!!

Jfc when I was begging January to end I was NOT prepared for February to be an even bigger nightmare

We’re all planning trips to Puerto Rico now, right??

Did that couple actually just get married at the Benito Bowl?! How cool

ChappelTitties 😍

Guess I’m gonna be driving in circles all week handing out whistles to my neighbors. I hate this :(

OH MY GOD NOT CATHERINE OHARA

I got the baby in a king cake that I personally bought… does that mean something for my infertility?! 🫠

Heating pad for the blob bc we don’t like ice….

In case you were wondering, indoor playgrounds still smell like feet and farts, no matter how bougie their marketing is.

I know I’m nervous about this storm because I have completely demolished the cuticles on both my thumbs 💩

Love having to spend money on a whole new security system bc Ring is run by fucking traitors

COW TOOLS COW TOOLS COW TOOLS

Look, I KNOW it’s the toxoplasmosis speaking but my babykitty smells like snickerdoodles and you simply can’t tell me otherwise.

this week's post is about, well, this week. it hasn't been a boring week. margaretkilljoy.substack.com/p/this-week-...

Eat my entire ass

How many women have died with “fucking bitch” ringing in their ears? Don’t let the misogyny get erased here

Guys wake up my new favorite reaction gif just dropped

the Catholic Church being right about 60% of the time these days takes some getting used to

Enough is enough: ICE agents do not belong in our communities.

Screaming crying 😍😭😍

More dog blob content seemed necessary today.

Fartypig became a pillow for smallcat today. They are both very comfy

Unconsciously standing up after my dog rings his outside bell when I know for a fact he’s just being impatient for dinner and doesn’t need to go out… It’s me, *I* am Pavlov’s dog.

been saving this photo of the in-laws pet blob from christmas for strategic deployment and i think now's a good time

My little farty pig 😍😭😍

Mom and Dad are here

I once heard a cutting assessment of someone’s intellect in Argentinian Spanish that went jugas al tetris y giras el cuadradito. It means “you spin the square tile on Tetris.”

Gremlin!

Pantone color of the year giving 90s washing machine

Omg I didn’t realize there was a Tillamook advent calendar. Of course I’m too late this year 😭

Biden administration so ineffective that I almost forgot it happened

Traumatizing early food memory: closely inspecting my McNuggets in the early 90’s

AI Santa is terrifying

Hold up

Wearing some distressed bootcut jeans and feeling like I need to write more eloquent insults

Cabin in the Woods got ruined for me last night by an infertility discussion in the opening scene, like WHYYYYY

I love seeing Kim Davis fail at stuff. Fuck you, go get another divorce.

Just listening to a cicada scream in MFing NOVEMBER 🫠

“I wish Andrew Cuomo only the best in private life”

New York NEW YOOORRRK

I was laid off from Teen Vogue today along with multiple other staffers, and today is my last day. certainly more to come from me when the dust has settled more, but to my knowledge, after today, there will be no politics staffers at Teen Vogue.

I finally got my RTU Zimomo and I’m over the mooooonnnn 🥰

Delivery guy left my Rock the Universe on the porch with allllll the pop mart logos visible. Could we get a plain box option like when you order from dirty websites please?

Got judged after letting my Labubu addiction slip in conversation but like… I have a Rock the Universe on its way and you… don’t…

Are your labubus dressed up for Halloween or are you normal?