I knew Metric/Broken Social Scene/Stars tickets in SF were going to be expensive but $355.20 for standing room only or $426 for balcony seats for my wife & I is brutal.

My wife's fat ass cat just determined that she likes English muffins so now I have to lock them up too.

My wife's fat ass cat just determined that she likes English muffins so now I have to lock them up too.

Epstein strongly disliked Ron Perelman, the former owner of Marvel Comics. Kathryn Ruemmler: What is our view of Ron Perelman? Epstein: litigious bad guy KR: What if he wants to hire me? Meaning hire Latham, but me at Latham Epstein: probably not. talk at lunch tomorrow. he is vile.

Epstein also brought up Pokemon Go in a long email chain with Deepak Chopra.

OK, this amused me. I gave Claude a copy of this classic XKCD comic and the prompt: "solve this. do a great job. ask no questions." And it gave me this in one shot 3 minutes later, including the style (and the note that it thought it was 2024?): xkcd-1425-bird.netlify.app

when i worked on writing these, this was explicitly one of the cases we considered and ruled out blog.google/innovation-a...

There's an interesting asymmetry in that there's not much difference between most of the respectable people who call themselves liberal or leftist, but there is a very big and very predictable difference between the dumbasses who call themselves liberal and the dumbasses who call themselves leftist.

I just woke up from a nap and somehow while I was asleep, everyone on the bus has figured out we are not going to the right place

This made me realize a lot of DJs are about to lose their jobs. We have the technology to build an AI with a superhuman ability to work the mic, read the room, select tracks, and even create whole new tracks on the fly, it's just a matter of someone putting all the pieces together.

what the fuck we support multiple taint-focused hardware devices in @buttplug.io and we're nowhere on the list this is bullshit

my brother in law invited me to come go-karting. I thought it was going to be a chill family hangout but it was a go-kart LEAGUE full of serious sickos. I came in last place with an average lap time of 35.803 seconds, 4.437 seconds behind the #1 driver.

over on the other site a raw meat enthusiast admitted that when she refused to have sex with her ex-boyfriend he went out to find a dead animal to have sex with instead.

in the past four months I have returned six escaped animals to my neighbors. today I returned this chicken.

Old laptops can still have Windows 11 installed! You can bypass W11's hardware requirements by creating custom install media with Rufus. I did it last week so the kid I was gifting an old Win10 laptop (with a ryzen 2500u CPU) to wouldn't have to worry about Windows updates ending in a year.

It's over, Anakin! I have the high ground!

someone stole a Turkish Delight

the student is currently facing a punishment worse than expulsion: her MAGA mom is trying to defend her on Twitter.

dad is walking the dog, so this is penny and stel 😉 we want to earn money to buy Pokémon cards and dad said he would pay us if we came up with another sticker idea or story or something for his newsletter thing so can u guys help us think of some ideas for the stickers pleassse😁

Wife: Customer representative 🤖: ... Please press 8... [This had been going on for a while] Me: Give me your phone. [She handed me her phone. I clear my throat] Me: FUCK YOU. HUMAN! 🤖: ... Please wait while I connect you to the next available representative. Wife: what??

I may have finally been cured of my Twitter addiction by X's technical incompetence. They forced me to re-enroll my YubiKey's so they can retire the Twitter domain but it didn't work and now I'm potentially permanently locked out of my account.

My neighbor's dog escaped so he set a trap for it. So far he's only caught outdoor cats like Saxon here.

I praised Cal every time she found a piece of candy on our morning walk.

In 2021 only 0.23% of workers reported making exactly the federal minimum wage. Another 1.2% reported making less than minimum wage, NOT including tips or commissions. Unsurprisingly, they are mostly tipped service workers.

opened the societal loot box and discovered one of the premium Great Filters ✨

I now interact with ai assistants from my landlord and my dentist and both times all they have done is tell me incorrectly that I owe money and both times I’ve been told to ignore the robot texting and calling me. Fuck this future.

(clenching my jaw so hard that all of my molars shatter): welcome to the resistance, Billy Long

in 2013 when my wife was dating the homosexual who would become her first husband I bought her a used copy of Infinite Jest for her birthday for $13.97. she read several hundred pages and none of the endnotes before losing it, so she requested a used replacement.

the biggest thing I didn't know when I adopted a bearded dragon was how much I would need to learn about the care and feeding of her food.

With Tom Lehrer's passing, I suppose this is a moment to share the story of the prank he played on the National Security Agency, and how it went undiscovered for nearly 60 years.

i am genuinely depressed i will never love a man as deeply and profoundly as trump and epstein loved each other

I setup my godson with SuperHOT VR and lost my shit when I saw he was standing on the edge of the couch and swinging. After playing the level I realized the problem: he was too short to see over an obstacle! This is what he was seeing. I think you need to be 5'+ to play the game as intended.

I left my godson watching a Minecraft streamer then came back and he was watching an ad. Me: HEY! What are you doing watching ads? Him: It's not an ad! He was watching this shit! I briefly explained affiliate marketing and put on BattleBots.

Picturing some old beaten-up poster who is sighing at the "Past Due" envelopes on his counter despite nobody paying bills by mail in 20+ years. An Eritrean army officer looks around meaningfully at the threadbare furniture

Medals for the ebola and COVID-19 campaigns.

I went searching for a copy of a game from 1991 and found a pirated copy that included the original NFO file with BBS phone numbers.

it only took two drinks for my wife to ask Claude what food he would choose to eat if he could only try one. he has no mouth but he wants to eat.

the Google Play Store sent me a push notification for this incredible offer: $4 in store credit if I spend $49.99! I realize the Play Store probably makes almost all of its revenue from whales playing pay2win games, but it's unseemly to publicly harpoon them like this.

Meta AI can animate any image it generates lmaooo

Messages to Meta's AI app default to public and there is a feed, so you can read the conversations of your friends and also strangers, like an insane version of the Venmo social feed. For example, this man requested a "mobile meat company newsletter".

My goddaughter is obsessed with a YouTube channel with 24 million subscribers called MyStoryAnimated. It's a fascinating artifact of Right Now: a TV show designed for preteen girls to watch while looking at their phone. This ep got 12m views in the past two weeks. www.youtube.com/watch?v=RsE1...

I bought crickets for my bearded dragon but she's too slow and stupid to successfully hunt them so they're just chilling in there and driving me insane with their cricket noises.

Ol Swampy has claimed lambchop for herself.

my whole squad is coming for whoever left poop on our lawn

I didn’t know when this dude flipped out on me a couple of weeks ago he’s some sort of former gaming commentator? Dude looks like Wes Anderson made a movie about a child molester

my wife wasn't happy with our courthouse wedding, so we're getting married again tomorrow. I'm getting concerned about how many times she wants to get married.

Oh btw, if you have 30-60 minutes to kill this weekend, why not check out the demo of our cool new adventure game/dating sim? Or click the button to get notified when the kickstarter is ready 😏 www.kickstarter.com/projects/485...

Glenn Greenwald's recent opsec failure was not the first time! Take a trip down memory lane with @theophite.bsky.social