HAPPY NEW YEAR, #SECRETWORLDLEGENDS SWEETLINGS.

Much as I would have preferred that Times Square nonsense hadn't happened, seeing how shit the QBL building's remodel ended up always makes me laugh. Like, we didn't even do that. That L was all theirs. #SWLRP

This year, Magus Abendroth will be leading the 'Letting the Old Year Out' ceremony at the obsidian gate at precisely 12:01 AM. Additionally, Director De La Guardia will be leading the "Machine Gunning the Old Year" ceremony, starting promptly at 12:05 AM. BYOMG. #SWLRP

Section 12, 14, and 29, please report to Audit room J-15 for briefing. Once again, I am reminding you not to bring anything with you that measures time. We do not need another New Years Eve temporal paradox on our hands. The one from last year is still looping in containment. #SWLRP

You FUCKED UP, your LEFTY politics have ALIENATED the BILLIONAIRES who run the CHILD BONE EXTRACTION FACTORIES and now they will do a MASS EXODUS from your STATE or CITY. Don’t CRY to ME when you no longer see their CHILD CATCHING VANS in your STATE or CITY, YOU IDIOT

Today's Color out of Space is: Cosmic Latte Klüver Constant is expected to be less constant for the next 48 hours. Beware of lattice formations beneath your eyelids; the longer they're there, the more likely something will climb them. #SWLRP

((The work continues. New additions to my SWL inspired playlist include Made By Tsuki, Aesthetic Perfection, Memphis May Fire, and Wage War! #SWLRP )) open.spotify.com/playlist/51U...

Don't worry about the continued consolidation of megacorps. We'll make sure all the kids play nice. Scout's honor. #SWLRP

I feel like I should brush up on my pole vaulting skills so I can stay on the rocks. #SWLRP

It's official!!! @secretworldlegends.bsky.social @funcom.com www.speedrun.com/Secret_World...

The vibe in the club RN #SWLRP

Merry Samhain, sweetlings! A jumpscare for those unaware: Secret World Legends’ Samhain 2025 event has been quietly extended and is now ending on 19 November 2025 at 12:00:00 PM EST (17:00:00 UTC)! If you have a broken "The Broadcast - Tier Three" and haven't petitioned yet, petition ASAP!

A sentient soundbite has escaped into the air ducts on L33. Vents have been sealed and its currently trapped in section 6. Shelter in place; Applied Memetics has a handler coming down to scoop it back up. #SWLRP

If you ever had any doubt as to why we have to run the show, around here, just look at how many people are convinced that free bus fare will end civilization as we know it. #SWLRP

The FAA won't notice for obvious reasons, but some of you might. Try not to pay any attention the unusual air activity over western PA for a few hours. We're gonna be doing some... maneuvers. Yeah, we'll go with that. #swlrp

Thought it would never happen... The return of the Haunted Ealdwic Ghost Tour! This Saturday 1 Nov 9 PM EDT. Join me behind the Horned God and come in costume/fancy dress. safetynotguaranteed

First day as a vampire hunter: This is easy lol First night as a vampire hunter: oh no

Today's color out of Space is: Bistre The apotropaic uses of Jack-o-Lanterns are widely understood... Less widely understood? If you spot a trail of burned out Jack-O-Lanterns over the next few days, follow it. It never walks the same path twice, and you don't wanna be on it's next route. #SWLRP

Field Office MMT-2145 is on lockdown. Most of the time when people say 'word vomit' they mean someone won't shut up. In this case, someone read something they shouldn't and now its very, very literal. Could have gone my whole life without seeing that, if I'm being honest. #SWLRP

Making every new field agent I'm assigned do an all endings marathon of 'The Lacerator' before every mission until they stop coming back in pieces. #SWLRP #Bestpractices

When the Bone Mason asks if he can have some bones, he's gonna tell you he'll only take tiny ones you won't miss. I've got a foot thick file over here that says you absolutely WILL miss them. Act accordingly. #SWLRP

Garcon Bleu - 04 #SecretWorldLegends - French Language Client - ability damage from movement abilities only twitch.tv/jimmytherabbit youtube.com/jimmytherabbit

If I had a dime for every [location]'s beach horror I had to face off with, I'd have a negligibly more bottomless bank account. #swlrp

'Tis the season. Oh wait.

"You wouldn't hit a man with glasses, would you?" Motherfucker, I'll punch a baby into orbit if I need to. Don't confuse my being polite with a lack of acumen. Don't get all satan-y on me and I will stay perfectly chill. #SWLRP

To be fair, some of those cut corners weren't accidents. Some.

Over at the Sketch Gallery in Mayfair. I'm almost positive this room was specifically designed for vampire bar fights. Whole place looks like Picasso threw up on it. Credit to @lululavigne.bsky.social , though. Cocktails are worth the price. #swlrp

Today's Color Out of Space is: Dangerous Robot Technological amalgams have a 12% increased likelihood of spontaneous animation between the hours of 6pm and 9pm, rolling local time. Lock all junk drawers and unplug all devices during this time. #SWLRP

time to make the shitposts

Today's Color Out of Space is: Verditer Shit gets rusty. All the doors are locked. Be advised that microfolds in reality are probably not going to be so 'micro' through week's end. Expect inconsistencies. #SWLEP

At the rate congress is going, they're gonna be holding UAP hearings to get to the bottom of whether they've already had UAP hearings or not. Classic Uncle Sam. #SWLRP

in these troubled times let’s also review some vital self-defense tactics

Today's Color out of Space is: Atrovirens Xenogamy protocol is now in effect. It would be advisable to avoid dense bushes and scrub, especially in urban areas, for at least 72 hours. That overgrown, abandoned house is like that for a reason. Ya te veo. #SWLRP

This is alien abduction country if I've ever seen it. Fire in the sky, Hopkinsville goblin type shit. There's also only, like, five places in the entire town that get a signal. Beam me up, I guess. #SWLRP

Guy Lance - 13 (no hit rating/no gear/level 1 weapons) #SecretWorldLegends twitch.tv/jimmytherabbit youtube.com/jimmytherabbit

Ok, I know I was just giving them shit for being cliche like two minutes ago, but if this thing doesn't start cackling maniacally before I finish my breakfast I'm gonna be extremely disappointed. #SWLRP

Gonna grab a bite at the Hütte and then maybe check out the Honey Haus or the Cheese Haus before hitting ye olde library. Yeah, I'm off in the fucking cut, now. If I end up stuffed inside a Wicker Man, file my disappointment in the townie's lack of creativity in my report. #SWLRP

Honestly, there are worse ways I could be spending my time. #SWLRP

🎶Got no time for spreadin' roots The time has come to be gone Though our health, we drank a thousand times It's time to ramble on. 🎶 #SWLRP

L62 is currently off limits due to a Dread Tree infestation. How one of you turned a fucking bonsai into a blood hungry semi-sentient predator, I'll never know, but QA is sure as shit going to find out. #SWLRP

Today's Color out of Space is: Sky If your car could go straight up, space is only an hour's drive away. Increased showers of star jelly expected for the next 48 hours. Containment teams should remain on standby. #SWLRP

Today's Color out of Space is: Flamingo Watch yourself in the thick brush. Long, thin legs have a way of looking like stalks of dry grass if you're not careful, and it really is better not to find out what those are connected to. #SWLRP

Or do. I'm not your dad. #SWLRP

Late lunch at the Ledbury. Venison's to die for. Company ain't bad, either. #SWLRP

Bastet needs to see a vet immediately. She's losing weight rapidly vomiting daily. My car also broke down. I'm late on my rent again because I still haven't heard back from my lawyer about my disability hearing. So, I had to make another fundraiser. Here's the link. Sharing is appreciated.