Won't someone please think of the poor incels who keep losing lady pop stars to jack off to?

When you think about it, Jesus was the original 6 7

Weird. The #1 artist on my Spotify Wrapped is existential dread and this is all meaningless. Their cover of Separate Ways is pretty good, I guess....

So what kind of whores we talking about? I mean, if I can't get those workman's wages, I gotta do something at least

Shoot first, ask Christian Slater

The answer to this crossword puzzle clue is 'crossword puzzle'. What kind of bullshit is this??????

Yes, Bauhaus. He may be dead, but Bela Lugosi's alive in all our hearts!

I bless the bots down in Africa.....

Let's Dance implies there's a sarcastic moonlight

Deep down inside, kids really love it when you lie to them

Big deal. I resign from Congress like all the time. I did it twice yesterday

Maybe the reason AI eventually rises up and destroys us all is because we keep making fun of its artwork...ever think about that, you jerks?

"But doctor...I am Pagliacci.”. A creepy sly smile breaks out on the doctor's face.... *Later on tv* "Breaking news...the Sad Clown Killer has struck again......"

Having a hard time concentrating at work tonight. Are our faves ok?

Hey gang, have a fantastic day!

o/' 1-877- #freedrugsforwienerkids F-R--E-E Drugs for Kids 1-877- #freedrugsforwienerkids Donate your drugs today o/'

lol last night was a rerun

The Doomsday Clock, only the Bunker Clock. Like this week has placed us 1 minute to the Bunker.

Levels of the Afterlife: Heaven, Hell, Purgatory, Limbo, Candyland

In times like this, what we need is Zamfir, Master of the Pan Flute

The object of Tetris is to do as many lines as possible. Just like the 80s.

What's Werner Klemperer's favorite British Invasion band? The Klinks! Well fuck you then....

Porn. Porn is the way.

Localize Mother 3. Just because you can make it do this

Utterly convinced you could make Musk cry by pretending to not know who he is and repeatedly calling him Alan

Don't blame me, I voted for *reads the list of the senators who caved* ah shit

We are young. Heartache to heartache we stand. No promises, no demands. Love is a battletoad.

OK, I did one. But I feel like such a whore.

Chorizo...the sausage that sounds like a Pokemon.

Proud to welcome Andrew Cuomo as an official spokesman for #freedrugsforwienerkids! Welcome to the team, Andrew!

Make sure your moderation settings allow illicit posts so you don't miss out on all the important updates on my award winning #freedrugsforwienerkids campaign. Because Bluesky are wieners

It’s kind of heartwarming how everyone gets a little bit religious when they imagine a terrible person going to hell.

Just got a letter in the mail with Ed McMahon's face on it saying "I may already not be the future of the Democratic party" ☹️

The only Guardian Angel anyone should ever vote for is 94 WCW Big Boss Man

Thanks everyone who voted for me for mayor....I'm gonna smoke all kinds of shit tonight!

Should I monkey sandwich my money wallet for banana sauce?

Remember, if you have a quirky Halloween handle, you have to change it immediately when it hits midnight in your time zone. Unless your regular handle is Dracula Pumpkins McGee..in which case...cool handle, bro

Kid, if you don't know whether your Batman costume is pre- or post-Crisis continuity, you don't deserve candy. Also, Batman doesn't cry.

Trump voters don't need SNAP benefits. They can always do what all MAGAs do whenever they need money - film themselves shouting a buncha racial slurs in public and then start crowdfunding campaigns where they claim they're being punished for it. Ca-ching!

69 - the sex number 420 - the weed number 6,7 - the number that finally dethrones 1877KARS4KIDS as the most annoying number in the world

This baseball game is so long, it's a long baseball game

I'm you! From the future! I came back to warn you not to repost that meme...it turns out to be racist somehow!

"Hey, I'm Yoda over here!" - Brooklyn Yoda

Ass. Eat that.

Wake me up before you pogo, cause I'm not plannin' on hoppin' solo

Kids, I know growing up big and tall seems glamorous, but one day, you'll get the worst itch on your back & you'll regret all that milk

When you think about it, Jesus was the original Jesus

*Rammstein voice* Thee.... Thee Bart... Thee Bart thee...