*VEEP music starts on the upstairs tv* Me: immediately picks up tea and starts heading upstairs @wryraconteur.bsky.social "Ah, yes, the song of your people"

The way you can summon me to consciousness with the sound of certain voices... Or how @wryraconteur.bsky.social started playing the #Murderbot trailer on her phone only for me to immediately mumble "Big Screen" from beneath my napping pillow & blanket, so we could both watch on the TV

How I wish my friends a Happy Birthday... @midnight-sass.bsky.social

Good Best Friends read the books their besties recommend Evil Best Friends intentionally don't finish the last in the recommended book series so as to torment the bestie who desperately needs them to read it

Girls Weekend commences as it always does...

Y'all, I'm currently in 7th place out of the 25 people in our office. How? HOW did this happen?!

Live footage of my reaction when J asks me about the revelation at the end of a book and I'm like "what revelation? I've assumed that literally this entire time."

I cannot stress enough that I do not want to participate in making March Madness brackets as a team building exercise...

What Messenger said: "Reply?" What Messenger meant: "You haven't sent a text in 5hrs. If you don't have a constant conversation running with your besties like it's a virtual monologue are you even alive, Elizabeth???" ...Sir, I did not come here to be attacked for my codependency this morning.

Me, on a call with all these Floridians and their tans: Oh my god, I look like a ghost! Who let this Victorian orphan be on camera?!

TFW you're damned if you put too many words in your email thoroughly explaining everything and damned if you don't because humanity is either too impatient or stupid to read

My wife, rearranging her lego sets to make room for the big ass Rivendell box that just arrived And by "rearranging," I mean she just relocated one to a different room:

Spontaneously going to see Dune Part 2 (again) on a random Thursday evening is one of the perks of childless adulthood Dragging your similarly childless friends along is an added benefit

James mocking me while I nearly bowl him over trying to get to my phone so I can check the dinner timer:

Walked into work this morning to not one but TWO emails this morning praising my work on several complex contract reviews for clients So...I'll be riding that high from now until the end of the world

Movie staff, noticing my necklace: Is that Thor's hammer ...as a necklace? Me: Yes. Him: Cool. Like Marvel or real Norse? Me, seated in Cap 4: Um yeah...it's Marvel

it was bad when the worst poster on my favorite website bought that website and made it terrible but it has been worse having that person also buy my country that i live in

True Love is being able to sleep through hurricanes, earthquakes, and tornados But not your wife loudly proclaiming her displeasure at the temperature for next week

Dear Facebook Messenger, Never. Not once. Never ever Will I want to make or answer a video call. Just...NO

Me: BATMAN BEGINS is great, but I was amused by the writers’-fiat plot device that a place can be SO corrupt that some reasonably-organized foreign actor can just puppeteer it on a whim. Me, 20 years later: fuck

Dear the rest of the world: You should absolutely not see the US as reliable for anything at this point, shit, none of us on the inside think we're reliable for anything right now either, you're definitely not alone

Opening to At World's End hitting a little too close to home today 🫠 Right to Freedom of the Press...Suspended

I would like an emotional support basilisk, and the emotional support would be the basilisk turning douchebags to stone.

Greetings, Owl! Enjoy my horribly frosted cookie cake for the event I will in no wise be paying any attention to.

My grandmother randomly texts me photos of me & my Dad through the years. This was today's Like father, like daughter... #yesistillsitlikethiswhenimworking

You should be allowed to take your non-spouse with you on a work trip if your spouse has no intention of using the resort amenities. And doubly so if you aren't either. Look, all I'm saying is "Why can't I be smuggled in your suitcase to go skiing, ok?!?"

DM, describing an enemy death: "He Holy Grail Nazi Melts" Me, known Indiana Jones enthusiast & Harrison Ford scholar: "Um, actually, that would be Ark of the Covenant Nazi Melts. It's Holy Grail Rapid Nazi Aging" #TTRPG

If your reaction to this isn't an immediate "Oh good. Release the Titans and send them to DC" we are not on the same level www.independent.co.uk/space/planet...

Turning dinner into "Fun with Shapes Time!" Because everything is awful and I need joy somewhere, ok 🤣😂😭

Every time I think about 19-20 something boys raiding government offices and having access to secure private information I just picture my 19 year old brother For whom my mom literally wrote out instructions yesterday for making a sandwich And I just have absolutely no words. On both accounts.

At least I can still count on GA's senators to have our backs in these trying times

Schoolhouse Rock is going to have to remake its cartoon on how a bill becomes a law.

Just me & @wryraconteur.bsky.social fully turning Pirates of the Caribbean into a musical Classic Sunday Night Disney Night

I'd like to thank my parents for raising me to be a better person than the man they voted for.

also: Fuck You, Make Me is in fact one of the oldest american traditions out there

Finally getting more of my art hung 😍 Tonight was all about the bathroom Or you know, my sanctuary to feminity lol Now complete with an actual goddess 😆 (Because a portrait of Hera doing her best Olympia impression was meant precisely for me)

Coffee tariffs are a great excuse for Panera to bring back the cardiac arrest lemonade tho

TFW @wryraconteur.bsky.social sends you a horrifying dark fantasy children's rhyme she's just written for her latest TTRPG And now you'll never sleep again

Finally starting Dune:Prophecy And if anyone needed further proof that @wryraconteur.bsky.social & I have a hivemind, we both squealed "It has pocketssss!?!" when Valya put her hands in her dress Meanwhile James:

This is the kind of chef I aspire to be...

Had to explain The Murder Queue to a coworker today Which meant I got to share one of my all-time favorite moments in group chat history 😂

i pretend coffee helps but i still want to throat punch most of you.

Well...It took 5 days, but I finally got a "We can finally say Merry Christmas again"

Holding back tears of joy as we celebrate @asbestostitos.bsky.social & @noombles.bsky.social taking the next step in their journey together. May their Forever & Always be filled with love & happiness 💜 Special Appearance by our Cleric: @wryraconteur.bsky.social

Across the Stars. (More art I’ve been sitting on for a bit.)

Night Orchids [ #BG3 #shadowheart #art ]

putting on my violence hat to go do some violence

It's time for the annual decorating of the Christmas Tree! And by that I mean I spend an entire day rearranging ornaments until they're exactly perfect

Sand movie

✨ Dame Ailyn ✨ I hope I'll be able to draw more BG3 fanart in the future but for now here's my favourite moon lesbian 💙