In America, when a beloved Hollywood icon is murdered, the president insults him and says he died because he didn’t support the president.

Oh how festive. Red and green.

oh dear god no

Not Jack Posobiec. He’s simply saying, “Oh, I’m sorry sir, you’re right, he was tragically murdered because he didn’t like you and he deserved it.”

Lotta people made some very stupid bets on the decency of the American right last night.

When you ask me what my politics are:

we can kill them all if we just work together and ✨believe💫

Two more days before the shelter can take them and I get to have another emotional breakdown.

We gotta do something about this piece of shit.

It all just seems so off from the way it should be.

Not many directors around anymore that can do more than one genre and do them well. Just a senseless loss.

It’s A Dark, Dark World, Charlie Brown

CONSERVATIVES: You will learn to love and praise Charlie Kirk now! EVERYONE ELSE: We have made him a meme for when something really bad is about to happen to you, and we also think his wife might be some kind of demon.

This isn’t actually a problem. There are still plenty of liberals and leftists left on Twitter. They actually ratio the shit out of the Nazis all the time, even with the open suppression. But it doesn’t really matter if you just hang out in the For You tab because that’s all propaganda now.

when you’ve been waiting 18 minutes for the shredded cheese for your fajitas

No one on the left cares and no one on the right wants to watch two women talk for an hour.

I don’t even know how we thank this guy properly. My first instinct says he should get a hero’s pension and never want for another thing for the rest of his life, but I understand that precedent might create some perverse incentives.

So I immediately rushed to my screen to write something that other people would only read on their screens.

What do you mean you had to talk to fucking Erika Kirk to understand how someone could forgive someone but still want them to experience justice? Are you stupid, Bari?

Turns out all this time, “Eat the rich,” was actually an established and tested way of dealing with them.

Michael C. Rockefeller got shipwrecked in 1963, washed up on an island, and was promptly eaten by cannibals.

I have programmed an AI 18th century doctor to kill the AI George Washington with AI bloodletting and emetics.

Oh, I didn’t realize she was terrifying. Like a televangelist’s wife who has just caught him with the pool boy.

Egg toast with a slice of American and five strips of microwave bacon. My god this is good.

I have a plan to trick him into giving us universal healthcare involving Zohran and a solid gold Stetson.

The rare Grammy Trump appears!

What an unreasonably badass thing to put in a Rainbow Brite movie.

Do you think they explored…they explored…each…I can’t do it.

I don’t care what you’re saying, I will not take you seriously if you are saying it into a tiny microphone you are holding with just two fingers.

It’s so funny to say this with the way he wrote Harley Quinn and Gamora.

“You haven’t aged a day!” but said in an insulting way because you always looked old.

Too often the concept of solidarity is used to promote standing by working class individuals regardless of their behavior, but I suggest that solidarity should have ground rules and bigots of all classes should get the wall.

Time again for my favorite christmas post ever, one that still makes me laugh every time i read it

Daniel Craig, don’t fuck up my Benoit Blanc movies with any conspiratorial bullshit, man.

Aha, I can finally admit I didn’t find Liam Neeson very funny in The Naked Gun.

Congratulations you fucking morons

Getting a nice story about a suicide in the middle of this required three-hour training.

Does PornHub not realize the generational cohorts get older as time progresses? These age ranges are something you’d see in 2015.

Ah, I see you’ve once again mistaken our military personnel for honorable warriors. You gotta stop doing that. You’re just gonna be disappointed when they follow all the illegal orders.

The Nobel peace prize winner is likely very happy about acts of war against her own country, if you’re wondering where we are as a world.

Oh we’re taking the oil? How strange. I was assured that anyone who thought we wanted their oil was a campist.

Super Hurricane Said to Be Even More Powerful Than Bogdan, World's Strongest Man

God, I fucking hate the corporate world. Everyone just abandons their morals when they can say, “It’s just business.”

This guy isn’t even in the autocompletes when you type Simon into google. Why am I reading his opinions today?

I mean, it’s an anonymous GOP source saying this, and we all know the GOP is a party of lying pedophiles. Why aren’t we automatically treating it like a manipulation tactic to turn the conspiratorial libs against her until we get more proof?

January 6th, 2026, just because it would be ironic.

I have programmed an AI 18th century doctor to kill the AI George Washington with AI bloodletting and emetics.

Head of Bulldozers Unlimited says he can’t even imagine raising a baby without one or maybe even two of his bulldozers.