OMG. 2 people I absolutely loathe. I can't... I don't know what to... Aargh! Don't. Make. Me. Side. With. O'Leary... I need to lie down, my head hurts. share.google/nCHEQfFjdbeE...

Watching the Simon Cowell doc series on Netflix and noticed his company name Syco. Good name I thought but by rights his name is SImon not SYmon so it should really be... oh, right, fair enough.

Preparing the 2nd episode of Charlie Higson's interview on the Offcuts Drawer podcast, and the transcription app has renamed his 2015 revival of that well-known fantasy drama series starring Vic'n'Bob: RANDOM HOT COAT DECEASED. Which I quite like actually.

Final episode of the podcast is a 2 parter. Charlie Higson has had such a varied and interesting career that there were too many projects to fit into one hour. So this is Part 1. Also featuring the largest cast so far. Enjoy. And please share 🙏offcutsdrawer.com/charlie-higson-1

Lookee here. Purdy river sunset. So purdy I couldn't choose which shot to post so please enjoy all three. #purdy

Fascinating thread. And that's EXACTLY what my podcast The Offcuts Drawer is all about. Will be taking notes - and may have found some guests for the next series... offcutsdrawer.com

Hey TV comedy producers! Writer here... with a climate-based sitcom pitch. I spy the below initiative - for a duo of writer + producer. Fancy joining me to apply, to fix the twin issues of CLIMATE and PEOPLE NEED TO LAUGH? My people (me) are (is) ready to take your call (or DM) okre.org/okre-fund/

A brief but important piece of advice that Jonathan Lynn would give his younger self, which applies more than ever today. Hear the whole episode: offcutsdrawer.com/jonathan-lynn

😆😆😆

Seriously guys. T SHIRTS and MUGS too. It's so brilliantly done, such a fantastic idea for a gift, and calendars are fine but don't suit every potential recipient. Plus more £££ for you. I WANT A SET OF THESE MUGS.

The comedy legend Jonathan Lynn (Yes Minister, On The Buses, Harry Worth - Harry Worth! - and films like My Cousin Vinny) shares the projects that were less successful & talks about his life offcutsdrawer.com/jonathan-lynn His 1st pro acting job was on BROADWAY with Cleese & Chapman pre-Python ffs

Having problems making a particular decision? Not got a tossable coin to hand? I made this to help you... voracle.base44.app

Back after a short break. New writing podcast ep out, featuring multi-nom-de-plumed novelist Bernadette Strachan and an acting cast of @emmabclarke.bsky.social Beth Chalmers, Marcus Hutton, Noni Lewis and Shash Hira. offcutsdrawer.com/bernadette-strachan

Hmm... this rings a bell... Old Fools podcast with Ian and @quantick.bsky.social - lots of entertaining grumpiness (and mucho swears, be warned) Have a listen why don't you.

Always.

Google recipes. Find one that looks tasty & has 50+ good reviews. Check ingredients, method & then read reviews: "swapped the salmon for chicken, even better", "lime makes it too sweet, used soy sauce instead" "Replaced tomato with chocolate, makes a tasty dessert".... I mean, what's the point??

See the funny faces! Well, the faces aren't funny but their voices say things that are & this is what the voices look like. There are some very entertaining scripts in this episode by BBC's Ed Reardon. Find out why they went awry and more... Also JUNE WHITFIELD offcutsdrawer.com/christopher-douglas

The Way It Is, 4x series on R4, early 00's. Simon Evans was presenter Richard Richard, I was co-prez Lolly Swain + all other F parts (loads) Dave Lamb (Come Dine With Me) & Chris Pavlo played the rest. Writers on here @simonblackwell.bsky.social @jonholmes.bsky.social @dannyrobins.bsky.social + more

What would you do if the great June Whitfield insisted to you that the Beatles' heyday was during World War II? (No, obvs she's alive in this scenario smartarse) This is what @chdouglas.bsky.social did, very resourceful I thought. Hear the full episode here: offcutsdrawer.com/christopher-douglas

This looks fantastic, and what a great idea for a Xmas prez for the discerning coolhunter d'un certain age. Also I really want these designs available as posters, t-shirts and mugs - make it happen Q 🙏

Fan of Crossroads? Old-time British comedy greats? New-time Radio 4 curmudgeon Ed Reardon? This episode is right up your street. Christopher Douglas shares the comedy scripts the BBC turned down (the fools!) and tales of working with June Whitfield and beyond. offcutsdrawer.com/christopher-douglas

When you give your cartoonist pal an idea for a cartoon, he draws it beautifully, adds an extra gag, it gets published in Private Eye and he gives you a thankyou credit for it... Now accepting offers for further work as "muse" ❤️👀🤩

I don't just make this stuff up. This is a wee taster of the very real @pierstorday.bsky.social talking about writing for children and for theatre - and in the full ep sharing some lovely and funny stories about all the fails before the success. Ep is right here: offcutsdrawer.com/piers-torday

New podcast ep klaxon! Award-winning children's author & playwright @pierstorday.bsky.social shares the fascinating failures that led to his writing success with clips performed by @joxvox.bsky.social @kennyblyth.bsky.social @helgwyn.bsky.social & David Lane Pusey offcutsdrawer.com/piers-torday

Podcast thing. Shout out to the cast: Emma Clarke, Beth Chalmers, Chris Pavlo & Helen Goldwyn, with extra kudos to Ms Clarke for reading a poem that would make my stomach knot if it were me, plus it would have to be at gunpoint (no YOU'RE repressed and uptight, SHUT UP) offcutsdrawer.com/adele-parks

I mean, full disclosure, me, but he and everyone else did this for Equity minimum just so it could get made. I bloody love him. www.mixcloud.com/espeee/the-h...

The ultimate challenge. Can you watch this short video right til the end without looking away? My stomach's in knots - the finger in the mouth moment - yeeeeesh. Kudos AG, you've caused me actual physical cringe-pain.

fancy forty-five minutes of impeccable sketch comedy? here you go: www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/...

Adele Parks MBE joins The Offcuts Drawer! 📚 She’s sold 5m books, been translated into 30+ languages and here she opens up about the writing that never saw print. The drafts, the cuts, the hidden stories, plus some very NSFW (short) poetry. New episode out now. offcutsdrawer.com/adele-parks

Thank you. Pedants unite.

They SOUND interesting, with all that talk about writing struggles and rejection and failure, but what do they all LOOK LIKE? Well, funny you should ask... offcutsdrawer.com/lucy-v-hay

*puts marketing hat on* (it has hashtags on it) New #writing #podcast episode alert! The inspiring #author and #novelist Lucy V Hay, the power behind Bang2Write shares her unfinished and unproduced #writing, what inspired it and where each piece actually led. offcutsdrawer.com/lucy-v-hay 1 m

Told you, didn't I.

Yay! One down...

Faces of the funny. Comedy writer @danielmaier.bsky.social (Harry Hill, Charlie Brooker etc) shares the sketches and stories waiting to be snapped up by producers and publishers... and this is what the performers look like. Check out how they sound: offcutsdrawer.com/dan-maier

Fan of Harry Hill? He's this week's guest on R4's Desert Island Discs. Great episode, and who should get a mention - not 1 but TWO of his writers who are my podcast guests: @quantick.bsky.social & (most recent ep) @danielmaier.bsky.social Check out both v funny episodes - 3 & 33 - offcutsdrawer.com

Well you've got to, haven't you, I mean it's the mighty @podnews.net... But then it is a great episode and @danielmaier.bsky.social 's offcuts are particularly good. Check it out offcutsdrawer.com/dan-maier

Top comedy writer @danielmaier.bsky.social was persuaded to share his unproduced scripts with us on the pod and it's a doozy of an ep. Top class comedy. Producers & agents ahoy - all these clips deserve to be developed/published! offcutsdrawer.com/dan-maier Have a listen and share if you agree

I know you're not all that interested but I thought I'd announce in advance the new logo for my podcast & explain that apparently a picture of a drawer handle - the old logo - was considered insufficient to inform listeners of its subject matter. So yes, there we are. And purple is better than teal.

A reminder that away from the ghastliness of the Middle East and the Scary Orange Arsehole there is a delightful interview with best-selling novelist Louise Candlish showcasing some of her more embarrassing writing and the TV project of hers they rejected offcutsdrawer.com/louise-candlish

You and me both, wasps, you and me both

These fellas. The latest episode may be audio only but these are the faces that go with the voices. Give it a like or a share if you're a writer or writer-adjacent. (Did I mention it's a podcast about writers? It's a damn fine one, and a unique format) Aaanyway... offcutsdrawer.com/louise-candlish

FINALLY taking down old flyers and business cards from the kitchen corkboard and discovered this underneath - the son of my ex who used to visit til he was about 12. He's 26 now. #timeteam #myversionanyway

What a lovely thing this is. Please contribute if you can, otherwise wish them well and share for support 🙏

Apparently posted without irony. You'd think an account about writing would care about things like grammar, spelling and good ol' making sense. The Quantum of Mence though - 007 finally embracing women's reproductive issues? 👏👏👏

New writing podcast episode! Best-selling thriller writer Louise Candlish shares bits of writing that got rejected or were abandoned & what she learned from them. Lots of writery wisdom shared plus some hilarious early attempts. And actors doing marvellous acting offcutsdrawer.com/louise-candlish

I'd like to thank @jennycolgan.bsky.social and her substack(?) newsletter for recommending Project Hail Mary, a book I'd never normally consider. Listened to the audiobook read by Ray Porter - what a magnificent thing! Read or listen - it's excellent 🔥👏❤️

Sexiest robot ever... Who's your droid dreamboat? I'll start. Normally I can take or leave a Skarsgård but Murderbot is Sex. On A. Circuitboard 🔥😍🤖 #iwould #isowould #robotboyfriend #murderbot

New #actor alert! Not 1, not 2 but THREE new voices in the Offcuts Rep! Please welcome... *drumroll* @helgwyn.bsky.social Marcus Hutton and David Lane Pusey!! *crowd goes wild*‬ Plus the fabulous double Chris combo of Kent & Pavlo. Check em out in the latest episode offcutsdrawer.com/paul-burke

Yeah, with Holmes at the wheel I reckon we'll be hearing *that* noise quite a lot in the future... 😁