Hey, billionaire tech guys; if arts degrees are so worthless why do you keep stealing all the work we created with ours?

365 days ago was the last time I spoke to one of my oldest friends. We spoke for just over an hour and we laughed at the ridiculousness of so much and so many. He didn’t wake up two days later, and I miss him hugely. This isn’t about me, this is about remembering my friend. 🥃

Good news for all aspiring comedy writers. Please share - and enter the competition, if you can!

The boys have a new bed.

Jack-In-The-Box on audiobook - pre-order now! Vocals by the awesome David Monteath. Out next week: amzn.eu/d/5S4zngw #booksky 📚💙 #books @joxvox.bsky.social

Feeling a bit run down & fed up today -- so cheer me up by boosting sales and readers on THE FRIDAY GIRL www.amazon.co.uk/Friday-Girl-... -- link to Kindle here, but available from all good booksellers/libraries in all formats (inc. awesome audio narration by @joxvox.bsky.social & Samara MacLaren)

Forgive me for tootling a small trumpet - stuff from the past, reappearing on your radio ...

Just watched Nuremberg.

Hey China and Russia, if ever there was a chance to undermine the Paedo Prez it’s right now. Do your thing.

Coming soon to your ears! Inspector Lomond book 2 - read by the awesome @joxvox.bsky.social . Preorder now! #booksky #writersky amzn.eu/d/6xGTUBb

In the meantime, EPSTEIN ⏰⏰⏰ Don’t forget.

I’m very sad to hear of the death of Eva Schloss. She was a very fine lady.

Hey FIFA you’re awfully quiet over there. Anything to add? Anything at all? FIFA Peace Prize? Hmmm

In true Scottish form I have spent the afternoon tidying the house, 2026 just won’t recognise the place.

Off out for a quick five mile walk…anybody else coming with me?

Dear @Apple perhaps you could include wrapping paper stressometer in your next watch update.

Fuck all chocolates that come in hexagonal boxes. Utter gits.

Y’know, the only thing AI could do usefully at this time of year is to be self wrapping paper.

I’ve been editing hours and hours of audio. It’s sooooo much more satisfying to use EQ over a plugin. I’m not saying it’s better, just that I like it.

@shonamaclean.bsky.social Hiya, I hope you’re keeping well and comfortably busy.

Final episode of the podcast is a 2 parter. Charlie Higson has had such a varied and interesting career that there were too many projects to fit into one hour. So this is Part 1. Also featuring the largest cast so far. Enjoy. And please share 🙏offcutsdrawer.com/charlie-higson-1

Well, it’s very snowy and quite cold outside so I’m exceedingly glad to have a nice warm studio to work in.

I found this again and it made me laugh out loud, so it gets a second posting. Still not playing with your Gonk Wantler?

@quartersooner.bsky.social Hi there stranger. It’s been a while, how are you doing?

@loreleiking.bsky.social The dozy blue contrived to catch his tail in a door, so he is now missing about 4 inches of it. Daft bugger. Mouse is just a zen like wee beast.

Today my big cat decided to scamper about the place at high speed chasing the wee cat. The big cat ran through the gap in a door as it was closing and has managed to deglove the end of his tail. We’re just back from the vet. Anyone care to guess the cost to amputate the top part of a tail?

In June we lost one of our beautiful blue cats. His brother pined for company and became morose and unhappy. So we decided to find a kitten for us and for him. Then we worried they wouldn’t bond. This is where we are today…

What wrong sweetheart, don’t you want to play with your Gonk Wantler?

I see that disgraced former PM Boris Johnson is giving 'evidence' again at the UK #CovidInquiry next week. On this #ThrowbackThursday, I'm remembering these heroes who stood up the last time he testified, refusing to accept his attempted apology. ♥️

I see the leaders of many countries in the world shaking hands with Tramp and it reminds me that more people should learn Aikido.

Yes, yes I know I keep banging on about my fucking book! However, if you want one repost this and I’ll do a random winner pick thing by the end of the week because I’m great like that. ♥️📚 #amindofmyown

Michelle Mone says she doesn’t t feel safe? Welcome to our world you mendacious tw@t; we were supplied your crappy PPE during a pandemic. I and other healthcare staff were just cannon fodder for your fucking yacht!

Listening to some Dire Straits and some RunRig and missing my pal Denzil.

The very idea that Farage/ Tice/ ReFuk are denying Nathan Gill, recently convicted of taking bribes to tout for Russia, as being one of theirs is utterly ludicrous. Farage and Nathan Gill go WAY WAY back to their shared party (UKIP then BXP) in the European Party. Then ReFUK

Buy my book, you utter bastards. www.amazon.co.uk/Murder-Ausch...

@stevedoherty.bsky.social Still good. 👍

New podcast ep klaxon! Award-winning children's author & playwright @pierstorday.bsky.social shares the fascinating failures that led to his writing success with clips performed by @joxvox.bsky.social @kennyblyth.bsky.social @helgwyn.bsky.social & David Lane Pusey offcutsdrawer.com/piers-torday

Only a week till our short film 'iCare 9000' is playing at The Outwith Festival in Dunfermline! Hope to see you there. Go to their website and get tickets!

For the fist time in many months my three babies are all here together. I’m a very happy dad.

Man, I know my outreach here is limited but I just got laid off at 2K after working on BioShock 4 for a year and a half. To say I'm gutted is a complete understatement. If anyone is in need of a friendly, fast and heavily driven animator with a lot of games experience please do let me know :)

What is it about a lovely Saturday evening that seems to force people to immolate cheap sausages and fatty burgers in their back gardens.

I fell over on Sunday, a trip, not an actual fall. Yes I’m ok, thanks for asking…but I have discovered all these minor aches and pains (not the big one that required reconstructive surgery (yes, I really am ok), and now everything just hurts. It’s very annoying and I can’t sleep.

Hey Midges, this is your time. Go and do your thing.

A reminder that away from the ghastliness of the Middle East and the Scary Orange Arsehole there is a delightful interview with best-selling novelist Louise Candlish showcasing some of her more embarrassing writing and the TV project of hers they rejected offcutsdrawer.com/louise-candlish

Apparently I’ve reached ‘going for a wee lie down’ in the afternoon stage.

I’m at my mother-in-laws house, I’m sure you’ll enjoy will all be very glad to know that yes, the heating IS on.