Elon Musk has passed away. The South African billionaire tech magnate and pedophile was 52 years old. He is survived by an amount of children, some of whom were believed to still speak with him.

I did everything right and they indicted me.

Can we get a few token ham faced guys with punisher profile pics to reply to my posts on here. Would make me feel more at home…

I will eat a raw burger to avoid conflict with the server, my wife will do mortal combat over a soft banana in our grocery order. Perfect match.

My mom never put my macaroni arts on the fridge, THAT is why I tack all the mice my cat kills to the bulletin board. Not going to explain this again. #catdad

I’M NOT DOING THE METAVERSE, K? I’m trying to have real experiences and connections, in the world (of Warcraft). Not going to say this again.

Falling down the stairs to *feel* something again #humor

Say what you will about Truth social, but I haven’t seen this kind of thing on here…

The way the movie E.T. portrays the US government is so unrealistic. They would’ve euthanized him immediately.

Can we normalize being a cartoon wolf seeing a pretty lady and my eyeballs popping out and my tongue rolling across the table again?

90% chance that when I die it’ll be because I don’t want to bother anyone with having to look into my ass or at my balls. #humor

*salesman bangs on my head* “This model comes in two trim options; charismatic best friend, or diarrhea goblin.”

Ectoplasm is literally ghost jizz. Don’t touch it.

JFC what did Sam Altman, inventor of Chat GPT, say in those congressional hearings?

Subscribing to paramount+ with my last $5 to watch the new Sylvester Stallone reality tv show.

I’m the captain of this stuck boat. We are hauling an emergency shipment of dildos and fleshlights for the shortage on the east coast. Not so funny now is it?

CEO introducing the company’s full-time return-to-office policy:

He keeps the big ones for himself

suckin on chilli dogs outside the Tastee Freez...

thanks for inspiring me to make this

Bees are the original anti fascists.

Could’ve been a crab boat deck hand. Instead I’m stuck at this dead end job at the Chinese cum milking factory. (Machine maintenance)

When the wife is horny but she forgot my bedtime is 8:30

You think you’re having a bad week? I just woke up from 6 years in cryogenic hibernation and my tinder profile had Kanye as my favorite artist and Harvey Weinstein as my favorite Hollywood producer this whole time…

Fuck yeah, Monday baby!

Planning to be on my lil bullshit all weekend long.

If they can do this to Austin Butler, imagine what they’ll do to you…

Pretty wild that Steven Crowder is a transphobic, family values guy, who missed the birth of his kids to get gender affirming top surgery and is now getting a divorce.

Me being bullied into deleting my post about Ted Kaczynski having some good ideas about technology being ruinous for society.

My most normie tendency is aging and dying.

Fuck yeah, finally Friday! Just gotta do that exact same week again for another 50 years until I’m dead. 😎

Breaking: Justice Antonin Scalia has just passed away from a parasitic fungus caused by an untreated prolapsed anus. Rest in peace, king 😎

Being able to JO while working from home has increased productivity by 30% but bosses don’t want to hear it.

Mastered the art of being indispensable at work while doing almost no work…

Kind of sad my kids are never going to know the magic of finding a crusty porno mag under a bridge.

Feeling blessed.

Don’t want to look back on my life regretting all the office supplies I didn’t steal.