Hello BSky friends! My pal @ericajvanstone.bsky.social's memoir is in its final day of fundraising & is JUST shy of the goal! Check it out, if you've got a sec! www.kickstarter.com/projects/ban...

One week! Just one week until THE AI CON is out [US market; UK folks, 16 days for you.] Check out thecon.ai/events for info about our book launch this Thursday and other upcoming events! w/@alexhanna.bsky.social

so @steffisaidwhat.bsky.social just called me a Paperback Writer and I can’t unhear it

my bestie @ericajvanstone.bsky.social is doing things because she's great and i'm so proud of her and i have no idea why this link saying she wrote a book isn't previewing properly but she wrote a book and ahhhhhhh i'm excited for her www.instagram.com/p/DIMRJ-hpy_...

Oh, hey. Remember that time roller derby didn’t run live on ESPN2 because of Barstool? KARMA DOES. Karma remembers. (And also Pepperidge Farm.)

DOGE is like if Fyre Festival was a government agency.

Roses are red Like my cheeks when I blush Less than a week ago the Eagles sacked Patrick Mahomes six times with just a standard four man rush

The more things change…💕✌🏻😘🍩

Geez, this team from Kansas City is having a troubling time with their quarterback. Maybe they should field the second string QB…wonder who it is-…oh. Oh dear…

I am back up in here to talk about the joy of this Serrano/Taylor fight. And to drop my hot takes about the reffing and Taylor fighting diiiiiiirty. But also, give me more women’s boxing immediately.

In a world full of scallions, be a f*cking leek.

Post a banger that isn’t in English. AND HE SAMPLED SERGE GET OUT OF HERE ✌🏻 youtu.be/4s2VaI4sgrY?...

We video chatted my mom for Christmas today and the first words out of her mouth to my son were, “What’s this horrible sweater you have on?” So I took myself out to dinner and I’m feeling pretty good about my boundaries this year 🙏🏻🎄🍷

Both my mom and my therapist have said flattering things about my poetry and I can’t tell which makes me feel more validated.

me: :researches $300 gaming chairs for my kid for Christmas: also me: :sits on an actual wooden stool to write novels:

Both of my sons are suddenly in love (with their respective gal interests) and this household has become insufferable. I live in Act One of a Shakespearean tragedy.

“I sat down in English class and my teacher said she heard it was my birthday. So, I said ‘yeah.’ Then she said my mom told her I’d be happy to teach the class the Macarena…then I blacked out from embarrassment…after I taught the class the Macarena…” -my son, enjoying his 16th birthday today

It’s “Try To Pretend I Don’t Love Cheese As Much As I Do” Season.

Going to Home Depot for literally anything is a whole f*cking journey.

Ran a half marathon. Didn’t die. Related: I’m dying.

Down to the home stretch on my humble writing project. As a grown adult with ADHD, hyperfocus is how I’ve learned to cope with getting work done. But it also means I often don’t know what day it is. Suddenly, it’s fall. Did you know this? #theoppositeofwritersblock

Mammograms. Is there really no better way?

Business colleague from the Midwest just ended a call with “bye now” and my cold New England heart just grew three sizes.

The 23-year-old child was feeling down last night so I read to him from my 8th grade diary and that seemed to help lift his spirits.

Two meetings deep today with my international business peeps and I am still in denial that South Africa has to deal with “load shedding.”

“Ugh, Siri, I’m not talking to you.” - overheard in the grocery store

23 year-old child: Did you make coffee? Me: Yes, but it’s way too strong for you. It’s basically espresso. 23 y/o:

My son, to a fencing pal: Hey, you ever see Young Frankenstein? (My work here is done, folks.)

Seven mile run! As a famous New Jersey band once said, we’re halfway there. ✌🏻🏃🏻‍♀️

Fall is a terrible time to train for a half marathon. I just want to sleep for the rest of my life, please. 😴

“You learn a lot about who people really are when they have power.” This morning’s conversation with my coworking pals.

“Do you remember that stinky beetle?” - overheard in the airport

There are three dogs on my flight. This is already going well.

Do the kids know about The Lightning Seeds?

I have to believe this was the intention all along, to gut Twitter and let it burn. So sad. Guess #derbybluesky will need to pester @megfenway.bsky.social over here for hot holiday glockenspiel takes. 🤷🏻‍♀️

…but when has live music ever supported *me*?

omg more trouble for me and @nouvellestefanie.bsky.social to get into. is this where the tea gets spilled?