Nation Yearns For Relative Calm Of ‘President A Giant Pedophile’ News Cycle https://theonion.com/nation-yearns-for-relative-calm-of-president-a-giant-pedophile-news-cycle/

That Stunts! lineup is nothing but bangers

we're getting all the downsides of cyberpunk (social alienation, ruthless hyper capitalism, digital mass surveillance state) but none of the promised upsides (cheap street food, cool jackets, super drugs that make you really fast and strong before they kill you)

Primary them out of power so hard their own children forget their names

Walk out on ICE terrorizing our communities Walk Out on the Trump regime’s fascism at home, and imperialism abroad Walk Out to reshape an America that welcomes all, accepts all, and is built to foster prosperity for all. ✊🏼 🇺🇸 ✊🏼

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He can’t read it cause he’s illiterate and a pedophile

i'm going to spend the rest of my life figuring out how a small band of elites decided that acting as the global currency and primary military hegemon was gay and feminine coded

Ladies and gentlemen President Andrew Luck

Today is the 80th birthday of DAVID LYNCH. A day to celebrate the birth of an artist who forever changed the world of art and culture. And our lives. Thank you for everything. Long live The Greatest.

Imagine posting these and then expecting any foreign leaders to take you seriously…

Breaking: Golden State Warriors star Jimmy Butler has suffered a season-ending torn right ACL, sources tell ESPN.

I like that the same day a guy was like “this place will never be Twitter” this thread gave us the most 2015 Twitter experience (complimentary) imaginable.

Luke Fickell is entering his 4th year at Wisconsin….

Once again what a great day on Bluesky the official app of sports

We got an Indiana national championship before GTA 6

Fernando Mendoza is gonna look like Carson Beck after a season with the Raiders

Indiana? The football school?

Bad throw there by Beck

Battle Royale (2000)

MENDOZAAAAAAAAAA

Oh that catch was absurd

BLOCKED PUNT TOUCHDOWN

Outstanding

Someone find the David Flair tron and replace Ric with Curt

WE GOT A DOINK

When you see the waitress coming out with your sizzling hot fajitas

NFL talking heads gonna call Fernando Mendoza FM5 like he’s a pokemon skill item

"this quarterback's faith is not important to him, in fact he has none, he's cursing god and turning from the light armed with the rage of knowing he's boiling slowly in the cauldron of time with no redemption, back to you, Chris"

Oh god they got small children around him

who the fuck WANTS their posts to go viral, have you ever had that actually happen? it's like getting a winning pull on a slot machine if wasps started pouring out the bottom instead of quarters

Go Hoosiers B1G! B1G! B1G!

One day this will be real

*2001 a Space Odyssey music plays*

It's the Karen presidency. Everything going on is because one dumb old asshole didn't get his way and now it's everyone's problem

If I was able to separate myself from the churn of history and could watch this with an untouched heart as calm as a desert horizon I do think “addled old pedophile gangster threatens war bc he didn’t receive the peace prize with insane letter aimed at someone unrelated to the prize” would be funny.

Like I was saying

Suddenly keeping Matt LaFleur looks like a good idea.

Welp

An nWo Carney... ⚫⚪🍁 For your consideration, @maffewgregg.bsky.social

Now more than ever, we're a two timing, back stabbing, and disloyal nation without integrity.

Stepping outside today

Game gonna be delayed until spring 2027 now