Listen I'm still not sane about Heated Rivalry but idk what to DO about that really so I'll just be over here. Thinking about them.

I am awake at an extremely fucked up hour. But at least there are a few delightful publishers who have started making audiobooks of the kind of slightly-to-very fucked up MM romances I have been looking for forever

The absolute funniest thing happened to me: I pronounced one single word in Arabic (my partner's last name, to the chemist) that she became immediately convinced I was Arabic and threw a whole paragraph of it at me at which point I had to embarrassedly admit that I'm not very good at it

Important announcement: did you all know I love gay people? I love gay people. Thank you and goodnight!

The Algorithm(TM) has my number these days Used to be if I wanted to be recommended music/videos/etc in [language I'm learning] I'd have to go out of my way and make new profiles etc These days I watch 1 show with Russian and it's like: hey how about this Russian song? And this Russian YT Channel?

I do think my brain's Languages Thing is at least 50% an attempt to direct the energy of my frankly overwhelming echolalia somewhere useful and/or find new and exciting sounds and phrases to feed the echolalia In related news I heard a Russian person say "Ilya Rozanov" and that's my newest. Ugh.

AO3 IS BACK FOR ME!! I had to refresh a few times but it let me over the wall again

"Should we invite Andrea Dworkin?" Is a clapback that will be joining my repertoire actually

I...listen. I just posted this to do psychic damage to my friends because I have absolutely zero thoughts rn

For reasons completely unrelated to exploring intimacy and compartmentalisation in HR ......I need to know more about the hockey in the book.

First up: I have been hearing a lot of things about the book, and while the is a remarkably faithful adaptation, there are differences, and one of them is that the actors (god bless them) are absolute hopeless romantics

Update I still have not slept well and my brain does not produce stable happy chemicals on drastically insufficient sleep so!!!! I will be once more simply having emotions about HR

I am obviously watching queer people react to HR because queer joy is beautiful And these guys are SO real. One just responded to the facetime call Ilya in Russia where Shane is all "you can talk to me, I wanna help" and Ilya goes, "I'm serious, if you wanna help take off your clothes":

I have an entire brain full of HR thoughts and the only trouble is that a lot of them are the variety of complicated and nuanced where what you really need to do is write a fanfic presenting your case and its emotional plausibility

There's been a very small and quiet and honestly incredibly unexciting gender journey going on for me for the last couple of years that's had me somewhat nervously identifying as broadly a man* instead of the masc end of non-binary In light of which, I'm really enjoying queer men reacting to HR

*Blinks* did I just fail miserably to set up bsky properly? Since I tentatively came back to this website I keep noticing people who are my friends who I'm mysteriously not following (sometimes they're even following me!????) Unsure how I managed this but do holler if you think I forgot you

I also need to do something to make my social media timeline have less news on it. This is the place I come for fandom and friends and my body and brain do not react well to "surprise! In between a cat photo and a K-pop boy is horrifying news about anti-trans legislation in the US"

*Blows out breath* I really gotta do something about the anxiety -He says, while in a generally constant state of Trying To Do Something About The Anxiety

just spitballing but some of it might have something to do with 15 years of sociopathic behavior culminating in the enthusiastic embrace of violent fascism

Time for ep 6!!!!!!!! Christ this show has eaten my LIFE for, like, 4 days? 5?

I'm starting episode 5 because the end of 4 left me too emotionally devastated to leave it there

Let's start ep four with a What The Actual Fuck After all the stuff that happened last time they met - the weird distant sex and we didn't even kiss and the terrible game - we get "have a good summer!" And "Don't have too much fun 😛" texts???

Oops. Turns out Persona, Discord’s age-verification service, was secretly screening selfies against government watchlists AND accessible by the feds. It's backed by Peter Thiel. “The state wants to see everything. The corporations want to see everything. And they've learned to work together.”

Let me pick up my emotions and let's look at Scott for a minute!

So! Let's yell about episode 2 I guess!!!!!

I am discovering things about myself and one of them is that my phase of dating thin people was A Mistake. I have missed out all this time on the joy of soft curved tummies and I can simply no longer go back.

So uh I guess I'm finally watching Heated Rivalry (With apologies to Cake, who Does Not Care) Thought 1: none of these people have broken noses. Look at Ilya's incredibly pretty, straight nose.

Anyway I hope you are all having fun with Heated Rivalry and I will get to it some time, but for now I'm reading books that exist somewhere on the scale between dark romance and horror erotica. And having just the BEST time.

Hey you ever read a book so unbelievably compelling that it grabs you right by the throat and has you pacing and clenching and unclenching your fists???? Because uhhhhh this is currently happening to me. I cannot fucking sleep! I'm not even listening to this book rn but I am lying here just OBSESSED

Neue Matratze gekauft und muss jetzt die alte irgendwie entsorgt bekommen. Sollte voll einfach und günstig sein, nehme ich an.

😘

so many of the small indignities of daily life come from us being denied the ability to tell a rich man in a tech company to fuck off. minesweeper has microtransactions. paid services have ads. the opt out says maybe later. the drive thru is a broken chatbot. your car is an ipad. fuck off! fuck off!

When people say "if you have nothing to hide you have nothing to fear." the correct response is: "I need privacy, not because my actions are questionable, but because your judgement and intentions are."

oh cool there is one for australia too. if you want you can sign it, might as well spread it around

Using this piece by @reallygoodwizard.bsky.social in my introductory lectures for my design students.

Scentists are on here too! Check every name and initial variation you've ever published under. My dad has dozens of works listed.

Also my new fabric arrived and I'm delighted about it. I'm just about to overcast the cut edges on the cotton so I can put it in the washing machine, whereafter it will become a long gathered apron because the flat wipe clean/canvas/etc things simply do not do the jobs of a real apron

I love doing little question/meme things on social media it's just. I have a terrible memory and may forget I offered one. Hm.

With that said, I'm not on social media much these days, so....rec me an audiobook? Or ask for an audiobook rec if you want one. These days I'm mostly audiobooks and sewing.

Anyway so I didn't mean to come on here to post about how helpful posts/videos by disabled people (with disabilities I don't have) have been for me but. Here we are I guess!

LRT I've noticed that it's not necessarily that skills/tips for ADHD/autistic people are only for us, but rather that most general tips rely on certain brain things working

I won’t bother people with replying to them or quoting them BUT I think another thing about self-diagnosis for autism or adhd is that even if it turns out you don’t have it but using the coping mechanisms of someone who does and it helps you, that is a good thing and you should keep doing it

Fuckin HATE this shit honestly. I so rarely find new music I like - and more often it's finding older new-to-me music

now that we're in the age of chatbot relationships I'm like, what if the turkeys totally knew the sticks weren't really turkeys, it was just really satisfying to display at a stick that can't walk away

I guess most people don't care enough for it to mean anything, but I personally lost all interest in anything that could be classified as "realistic", in no small part because of ai. I'll be much more likely to like art that's humanly imperfect. Doodles over the Mona Lisa and such.

bummer that “cocksucker” is an inherently homophobic insult because it’s got a really good (i turn and look directly at the camera) mouthfeel.

One thing you will never think after reading a great book or listening to a great album or seeing a great piece of art is, “I’m really glad this person remained cautious while they were making this and guarded against being perceived as weird.”

Man I'm so rarely online these days. I think that's probably good honestly, even though I have mixed feelings about it. I spend a lot of time doing daily life stuff, listening to audiobooks, and hanging out with @casualcheese.bsky.social, and I do think some of my online time *was* escapism