i recently saw a post calling for lesser known gothics to be adapted and the mysteries of udolpho was on the list…..i am willing to believe there is some soul out there who actually wants a mysteries of udolpho film but i am going to need some convincing that you are that person

hate when you get a pen that’s too slutty. i only pressed a little why is there ink everywhere wtf

the thing where kids will just tell you all their family’s business must have been so funny from historical aristocratic children. you’re some humble retainer and one day apropos of nothing her five year old highness is just like btw father has no hair he wears wigs. i saw him he’s bald

one could argue that “where you go, i will go” from gimli to legolas supports the read that gimli is symbolically converted to christianity because the biblical “whither thou goest i will go” to which it alludes is followed by “thy people shall be my people, and thy g-d my g-d”

not now kitten daddy is downloading the richard the lionheart x philip ii of france 18+ 12th century yaoi doujinshi

The first part of my #Medieval Yaoi doujinshi, QUOD AMES, quite coveted at last week's Manga Ichiba, is now available to purchase! #comics Check it out: physical: tomatobird.storenvy.com/products/370... digital: tithe-to-hell.itch.io/quod-ames-so...

being a silmarillion fan is like here is a joke about my ocs that is based on a note about pronunciation of one dialect of a fictional language that does not really appear in any of the well known story lines

one time in my first year of law school i heard someone seated behind me in class say to themselves “damn. this question is just like ace attorney”

a character performing surgery on themself is erotic in the same way that a character shamefully and desperately jacking off is erotic. i will not elaborate

richard the lionheart really epithet mogged every other english monarch to be honest. that’s just cooler. only william the bastard and edward the black prince (if we’re counting heirs) really come close

don’t come over i’m listening to across the stars and thinking about elf romance where they die in the end

i hate when a post blows up and weird people start replying to your mutual who was just having a normal conversation with you under your post. begone, scoundrel, you are scaring the hoes

rings are just more perfect for being magically cursed than other jewelry because if you wear any ring all the time the resting posture of your fingers will adjust to accommodate it and your hand will now feel wrong without it which is perfect fodder for an object that drives a person to obsession

some jokes write themselves

there is plenty of literature on why popular views of the middle ages are erroneous but in the simplest of layman’s terms it is just not serious to be living in the age of world wars and mechanized genocides with death tolls in the millions and going “people used to be violent back then”

teacher/student is best when it knows that a beloved teacher is frequently someone whose affection and notice looks like putting you in a saw trap on an intellectual and creative level because they know you can take it. someone they are not torturing is someone they don’t take seriously

the wrath that i feel towards microsoft word is limitless like i think i understand my own capacity for evil when i spend too long in ms word

i’ve actually never read baseball yaoi but i feel like if you write it you should be obligated to make one of them a pitcher and the other a power hitter because the way commentators love to refer to a batter hitting a long ball as “taking [the pitcher] deep” is immediately going to be funny

we tend to think of the meaning of a fantasy character’s name in literal terms as in like what is its etymology but it’s also interesting to think about what sort of person this name connotes like who are people in this world picturing when they hear this name

sometimes when people try to subvert a trope or genre convention it’s like i support this ideologically but bonerologically it’s just not giving anything. this is innovative, it’s true, but there’s just no flavor in it

stop telling people viggo mortensen really broke his toe here when aragorn kicks the helmet. you can be weirder and more unbearable. man up and explain the absence of the kingdom of arnor from these films

it is a well known fact among all self respecting inverts that there is only one thing as sexy as a royal bastard and that is the kingmaker

referees interfering when hockey players start fighting is crazy because if i wanted to see respectful and honorable behavior i would watch another sport. i put hockey on to see dudes beating each other the fuck up

writing anything historical will make you realize how accustomed you are to a world where information can move instantly and people can almost always be gotten ahold of because you have to do so much maneuvering just to have a character quickly find out about something that just happened across town

“he’s a woman to me” not to me, girl. he’s a man and she’s a man also. fuck it, the dog’s probably a man too. this is fundamentally about masculinity. What now

i have been in close contact with two sick people lately and i am mildly immune suppressed so i feel perfectly fine but spiritually I have the boss battle music playing

people talk a lot about phrases or syntax that indicate AI but honestly one of the hallmarks of AI usage professionally is just bizarrely voluminous documents like being sent some unhelpful 40 page thing just as a supplement to what you asked for that nobody would have spent hours on unprompted

Knight and Valentine / sydänystävä [ #oc | #art ]

in my personal opinion a lot of the things about westeros that feel a little lacking are times grrm is taking inspiration from history but his grasp of that history is only about waist deep and so there is context and complexity to the things he’s drawing from and commenting on that he is missing

unfortunately for john tolkien the only two explanations for that many aristocratic male characters with no mentioned offspring are homosexuality or wall to wall bastards. it’s either other men or illegitimacy as far as the eye can see

when you think about the fact that the majority of people on earth need some form of corrective lens to see clearly it is easy to imagine a medieval fantasy world where the famed eyesight of whatever tolkienesque elves are there is literally just that most of them see 20/20 without any assistance

i say this as elfsucker69 but when people are like “fantasy is so popular right now, huh? weird.” i’m like…….i mean. medievalism that was for all intents and purposes fantasy previously heralded the rise of the nationalism that would ultimately produce both world wars. so politically that checks out

i’m so glad they never let anyone but me and like 5 of my friends watch house of the dragon. would be crazy if anyone else saw it and was wrong about it

the gender of rhaenyra/alicent is in the fact that in all other ways rhaenyra could have the life she wants if she were a man but she could not have the relationship with alicent that she does because they do not live in a world that allows men and women to truly know one another in the same way

for me the appeal of a lesbian vampire is less a fantasy of a violent woman and more about homosexual self disgust like this woman is horrified by a predation it is her nature to commit, she is a wolf welcome among the flock only because they do not know her desires. and that is very lesbian

whenever i get recommended any therapist content on social media i immediately understand why everyone is crazy now because every single post is like Why You Are Always The Victim In Every Situation And Are Helpless To Better Yourself And Everyone Else Alive Is A Narcissist: Buy My Book for $29.99

i mean sure it might be politically questionable when ‘found family’ just forces unrelated characters into traditional familial roles but most of all it’s not quite as sexy. far more romantic for the relationship to be brotherfatherloverfriend than neatly any one of those things

because i post about tolkien i am periodically followed by a lot of normal heterosexual men significantly older than myself which is funny because i’m then just posting about elves to the audience of a bunch of eccentric gay people and then also somebody’s uncle

i had no idea posting that would lead to everyone showing the interesting old lotr covers they have but i am delighted nonetheless

for the low cost of $10, approximately 200 miles round trip, and an extended conversation with an old man, i have acquired the lord of the rings editions with the infamous early 80s cover art:

Glorfindel of Imladris ☀️ LOTR fanart, as a treat, and because I've been meaning to draw this golden elf for a looooong time!

characters should have scars that they did not get tragically. like you ask maeglin why he has this gnarly scar on his hand and instead of unlocking his level 50 tragic nan elmoth backstory you unlock how he learned never to use a soldering iron when you haven’t slept in 9 days

i enjoy fictional incest but as with any other ship i like to be sold on why that would be compelling with these specific characters which sometimes hilariously leaves me appraising brotherhole fic/art going “hmmm….lovely work but i just don’t feel like there’s anything there narratively”

500 miles by peter paul and mary becoming a popular short form video audio has been a landmine for me because, due to me being the way that i am, that song makes me so upset about lord of the rings

it continually surprises me how few people seem to put together that the asoiaf universe is incredibly preoccupied with castration. everyone understandably discusses the incest and the way everyone is underage but the castration thing is roughly as prevalent and yet seems to fly under the radar

actually kind of distressing how beautifully shot empire strikes back is. why does a fuckin star wars movie look like this

i have said this before but it remains true that a lot of different maedhros characterizations can work for me but the key thing is i need to feel like that man has the mental and physical wherewithal to amputate his own leg on an 18th century battlefield if need be

it’s always the nolofinwion “must i surrender all my own wishes to what would best serve my father?” vs. the fëanorian “yes, obviously. what kind of question is that”

bastardy is the sexiest thing any feudal setting can explore but it’s best when it’s ambiguous. a bastard who is declared as such is also interesting, but so much of the anxiety has gone out of it. much better to have everyone, the character included, very nervous about who really fathered them