it’s time to do the time machine plan ⏰

It’s not a medical office if they don’t have Food Network on in a 4:3 aspect ratio

the real rubies were the friends we made along the way (along with the sealed first edition Pokemon booster packs)

its my birthday which means you have to say nice things to me while you plot murdering me for my rubies behind my back

Update: Two of these guys agreed to a fight outside of a Target and one guy (allegedly) bit the other one. Someone's also accusing the family of (allegedly) cutting the line, and now someone's generating AI images of said family waiting outside an unemployment office in Texas. We're in New Jersey.

Happy Independence Day

you don't do politics? then why do you eat freedom fries and american dogs? checkmake liebrals

I've been trying to offload some pandemic-acquired Pokèmon stuff on FBM and I swear to god, every group in my area has been people threatening to kill each other over this goddamn cardboard.

can’t tell yall enough what a breakthrough it was for me to learn from this interview that most people just want to feel like they’re being obeyed they rarely follow up on whether you actually obey them

Mission accomplished

if boygenius is so smart, why did they break up

Facebook has brought many horrible things into the world, but has also given me this beauty

get in the robot

Me: one pleaseburger cheese :) The Kiosk: Your kind hates you because you are a reflection of everything they recognize is wrong. The rest rue your existence as a product of weaponized empathy. You are an affront to God and any individual with a mocrum of awareness. Me: can I get a coke with that

I watched it on a flight and it took me the entire flight because I found raw dogging it to be more entertaining

nyc phrases from someone who went to nyc for one day back in December: we whalkin’ here gonna get a noice slice luv da knix behbee

I haven’t had a non-work conversation with anyone in months and at this point, I have no idea what a normal conversation sounds like

hey man we used AI in the production process of this game but don't worry none of it made it in the game, it was a huge waste of time and money, and we could've just looked at stock photos at the end of the day. You have to accept the future.

bluesky? more like i'm feeling blue because i read your posts

didn't really need geoff to act out the entirety of the amazing digital circus finale with puppets during sgf

An Evangelion crossover in Sonic? We like a little bit of trauma in our meme kart racer

I downloaded Facebook to sell some things on marketplace and I’m already knee deep in three conspiracies

The people cry out for Jarnathan

boring hunger games: the winner gets entered into an exclusive lottery for a chance at a reserved slot to buy exclusive hunger games limited edition pins and other assorted merch

Sony execs showing off the new God of War

Throwback to when a TV station in Iceland accidentally aired an episode of Teletubbies with subtitles from the Sopranos 👌🏼

“Today we’re here at my divorce attorney’s office! Some new divorce paperwork from my ex-wife's lawyer just dropped. Come with me as we ride the elevators, pick up some coffee in the lobby cafe. Maybe we’ll find some hidden Mickey’s my lawyer's office!"

yo waddup my name is harrison and my anxiety right now feels like a never ending heart attack. i’m here to party, cry, and convince myself that everyone hates me.

types of mutual on social media: * your buddy you riff with all the time * someone you used to riff with but are pretty sure has you muted at this point * person you admire who followed you back somehow and gives you a jumpscare every time they like a post * we interacted one time years ago

The new Celebration City episode of @defunctland.bsky.social spoilers without context

can we get some solo friendslop up in here for the insufferable girliepops

A former colleague getting a better job drastically changed my life trajectory in ways I still can’t comprehend.

the show’s message: go to therapy what the internet heard: my favorite prepubescent and traumatized child soldier is the either red one or the blue one

writing my last will and testament in comic sans so everyone knew i was mentally unwell

gonna pour myself a nice glass of sparkling wine and watch flight attendant training videos

Me, singing Welcome to the Jungle, after doing a jump: shannanaananaa knees knees shannanananaaa knees knees

.

(jemaine clement voice) Shut up faux pas from the past

There is new Regular Show and it’s on YouTube for free. “Jolly Good Show,” I say as I hold back tears of joy.

They targeted ai filmmakers - the most oppressed group of artists 😭

one of these days, I’m gonna mute that amber alert when it wasn’t an amber alert to begin with

in the future, wars will not be fought for oil, but for distilled water for our CPAP machines

flight of the conchords ruined a generation of trans folks (I want to be part of a New Zealand musical duo)

my brain every time I’m about to post one of my bangers