I was talking to my grandmother yesterday and she was telling me about how when kids in her class turned 16 they started driving the school bus and bringing everyone else. It’s a miracle my family line survives

"This sowing of mistrust in our relationship with media is... a huge effect of this synthetic media moment we’re in..." “I’ve been thinking about ways to refuse it, and the simplest, dumbest way to do that is to only search before 2022.” Something to try out and be thankful for this year! #Pinks

🚨 BREAKING: Zohran Mamdani to require all NYC students to carry a 3DS.

hearing Osgood Perkins tell Brett Goldstein that Johnny Knoxville is the greatest American entertainer was a gift to me personally

I try not to engage with rage bait but honestly it’s nice to have everyone mad at a list of comedy movies instead of at the imminent collapse of society

Tag yourself I’m “Chekhov’s giant hole”

No matter what choices you make, whatever details you alter, we will always end up here.

Hello this is Cake, Popcorn, Chips and Pie

The Warrens were likely awful people and the Conjuring franchise lost its spark several installments ago but Vera Farmiga and Patrick Wilson are so charming it’s still easy to watch them even when they’re not given much to work with

Incorporating “y’allidarity” into my vocabulary this instant

I’ve said this before but film distributors that leave long gaps between releasing in different countries are murdering their box office draw. I love to support cinema but the average person isn’t going to spend $25 to see something they could have watched online three months ago.

Mamdani is charming and everything but the only thing I can grasp at to explain that meeting is that no one has ever acted like a normal person around Trump so he found that in itself so novel and incredible he got heart-eyes

There is nothing my cat loves more than staring into the dark abyss behind the washing machine.

Tempted to bump this book a star rating for how flat it lays without effort

A man here was arrested today for stealing a forklift which he then used to steal an ATM.

Just watched KPop Demon Hunters and why did no one tell me— oh you did try actually my bad

What’s your lowest stakes pet peeve, mine is people who claim they got a dramatically shorter haircut but you can’t tell a difference

Johnny Knoxville getting married by John Waters, peace is restored to the universe

Hello this is Mango

Does anyone know how long @thegooddotstore.bsky.social has carried Blooming Wild Black? I got a sample pack right when they started making tea but just got another and don’t remember this one 😍

Started playing Animal Crossing for the first time in years and spent weeks straight on trying to get the materials to make a golden head

Overnight my cat managed to knock down and unplug the camera we use to watch her when we’re not home, which does make you wonder what she’s planning

Have any of you tried those lamps that are supposed to help with seasonal depression

General reminder you absolutely do not have to hand Marjorie Taylor “Jewish Space Lasers” Greene a goddamn thing

I have two birthday events and a haircut today so my social battery will be tapped out until Christmas

I hate that AI has made me approach cute animal videos with an air of suspicion. I resent having to harden my heart to the possibility of an unlikely friendship between a very large dog and a very small one

It’s not over but when it is I will never, ever forget the “serious people” who buckled and compromised and abetted the torture and crime and murder for a fascist lottery ticket.

I foresee this getting used as a reaction at every opportunity

The points don’t matter but it really was incredible to have no idea who would win Taskmaster until the very last moment

Nameless members of the group chat have been accused of having a Captain Hook kink

As all this disgusting Epstein shit starts surfacing more and more, I hope we don't lose sight of the fact that apparently every major media outlet knew everything and instead spent their time money and energy attacking the trans community.

Pizzagate: If you replace the word “hot dog” with “little boy” and “pizza party” with “child sex orgy,” you will see the lengths these elites go to cover up their crimes. Real elite emails: Send me nude pictures of those 8th graders we abused last weekend post-haste! I am the Ambassador to Turkey.

Who trusted me to assemble a $20000 piece of equipment with the worst instruction manual ever written

please let this be the last we hear from this overplucked pile of slugs

Everyone expected this outcome six weeks ago. But then were led to believe some had miraculously found spines. It truly is the hope that kills you

The infighting within the left makes it all the more insane people with vaguely defensible politics are still, a decade into trumpism, married to Republicans. The biggest difference of opinion in my household isn’t about policy or human rights, it’s about Nathan Fielder

Anyway it was nice to not be consumed with blinding rage at our own party for a few days wasn’t it

Whatever happens after this, y’all, we must all agree to do whatever non-felony things we can to make Schumer miserable until he resigns.

As Democrats get their votes lined up and talking points ready, it’s important to remember they’re working together to lessen the fallout from their angry base. In March (see below), Schumer voted to advance the bill but didn’t *technically* vote for final passage. It’s dishonest bullshit.

I told my Senators that the message Senate Dems are sending is that if we vote for Democrats resoundingly in an election, they’ll promptly fold. Is this what they want us to take from this?

Is the entire Taskmaster brand allergic to straightforward ticketing processes ffs

Hello these are Cookie Monster and Elmo

if you are food insecure for both the humans and pets in your household there is a tool called Pet Help Finder that can help locate pet food banks nearby and other free or reduced price assistance and supplies for pets. no one, ABSOLUTELY NO ONE, should have to give up their pet bc of this.

40 years ago we’d have congressional hearings falsely accusing metal bands of putting backwards messages in their songs that told kids to kill themselves & now we have a planet-killing chatbot that’s all like “bet you won’t commit suicide chickenshit bitch” & the government is like here’s $5 billion

Less than halfway through Frankenstein and my man GDT was like yeah Oscar Isaac the natural way to do science is in the nude

Watching Hannah Einbinder’s standup and she tells a story about being a barista and her coworker wanting to “kill the third lead on a CW show” 💀

Want to replace the fleece blanket I’ve had for like a decade that’s no longer soft. Was told about a nice brand, looked it up and it was $110 which is kinda pricy but I found a discount code. Then I found out that price is for A BABY BLANKET

Hacks is a love story, a really good one.

There’s no fixed amount of immigrant torture that will make these people say, okay that’s enough, they will always feel that the country is broken and that the most vulnerable people are to blame and they will perpetually hunt them for what essentially amounts to anxiety and boredom. There’s no end.