Buddy. You’re not a prepper. Give up

Me, earlier: ...the fuck I think that was an earthquake. But I'm out in Florida. Me, two minutes ago: *Leo points at TV dot jpeg* www.wftv.com/news/local/f...

Bi folks who are in relationships with opposite sex partners are still bi thanks for coming to my TED talk.

You know who else I missed? This goober.

Home. Time to make some s’mores with the kiddo.

Christian Pulisic must just be seething having to wear pride colored numbers on his back. Good.

Somehow that goal was Cristian Roldan's fault. No it doesn't matter he's currently not on the field. It's Cristian Roldan's fault. For reasons. #USMNT

Kiddo is getting introduced to some foundational television soon.

Goodness gracious Dom Canzone that baseball had a family Even Julio was like goddaaaaaaaamn dude #Mariners

Kiddo burst into our room this morning and gave me the biggest hug and ahhh I'm so glad to be home

The Fred Rogers Production has started uploading every episode of Mister Rogers' Neighborhood for free. www.youtube.com/@misterroger...

Oh sea level I’ve missed you so much

*Slips Delta a cool $20 bill to stop selling tickets and upgrades for this flight in two hours*

I have no idea how the birthday on my ticket for my flight out was correct, but a day off on the ticket for my return flight. That was an anxiety inducing hour and a half to resolve.

I cannot wait to get home and hug my kid and kiss my wife and sleep in my own bed

Oh god no not Anthony Head

But on a serious note I -really- needed this recharge time before flying home. My anxiety meter has been in the red all week.

I should to some sightseeing or something before my 5PM flight home, but my social batteries are running on fumes so watching Critical Role in a dark hotel room until checkout it is.

2-Row Brewery in SLC: come here if you want a great brewery that loves the LGBTQ+ community

Can RFK Jr make himself useful and eat all the screw worms

Officially done with the work conference

Who could have guessed a candidate with a bunch of red flags had more red flags to uncover.

Four bottles of Gatorade, two Liquid IVs, countless water bottles, and a sleeping pill so I could actually rest and get I feel mostly human again

you cant cut corners on ideas! the iteration is the point!

Migraine! At the work conference

Discovering this week that spending extended time at 4200 feet after living your entire life at sea level can be kinda uncomfortable!

Got back to the hotel just in time to see Julio go yard. Neat.

*enters hotel room* *immediately turns AC down as far as it will go*

Welp. I’m in Utah after a 7AM flight from Orlando for work. And I have a massive headache.

God I hate flying

I dunno why, maybe it's just the lefty loopy swing inherent in LHBs, but Colt Emerson's swing/approach reminds me a bit of John Olerud's effortless swing and if that's the kind of career trajectory a whole bunch of Mariners fans are gonna be happy. Olerud but a shortstop? Yes please.

It's an absolute crime that cast hasn't been brought back to play different characters in different 'campaigns'

Stuck going on a work onsite tomorrow, don't get home until Saturday. Just realized this is going to be the longest I've been away from my kid and that's not a great feeling!

If you missed it earlier this week…things are looking dire for this one. I had to do $500 out of my pocket to make sure Mando & Grogu happened last weekend and if I don’t secure a theater within the next week it’s not gonna happen. Help me spread the word. A little boost @jamesgunn.bsky.social?

Just do the proper Brad Evans PK: fucking just run up clean and take the damn shot.

saw a truck for a company called Absolute Chimneys and I can’t stop saying that to myself as if I’m an English soccer announcer calling a free kick that sailed over the crossbar

No context thing I said at work today: "I'm gonna out myself as an IT Nepo Baby, because I literally got on a call with my dad who is the IT director for a large company in the PacNW..."

I dunno but these two chucklefucks shouldn't be in charge of it.

Is there a German word for "I spent three years warning that this was going to be a huge, gigantic problem and it has become a huge, gigantic problem but you're going to make me carry the bag for it because I'm the only one that identified it as a huge, gigantic problem"

I have to fly into SLC for almost a week for work and I cannot properly express how much I detest flying, detest traveling solo, and how all of this has turned the anxiety dial up to 11.

BREAKING: Janice, last surviving member of rock group Dr. Teeth & the Electric Mayhem, disavows any connections to 250th anniversary concert promoted by WH 👇

Paramount+ wanted to use the image on the left as a poster for the wrath of Khan, so they used everyone's least favorite technology to generate the rest of the image.

Here's the serious bit for anyone who'd rather skip the 4000 words of jokes

I'm getting an insane amount of pressure to use AI in my workflow despite it makes ZERO sense to use AI anywhere in my workflow. The customers I work with would fly out and personally strangle me to death if I sent AI responses to troubleshooting shit particular to them.

I will win this contest against any Republican based entirely off the castoff wide receivers Tim Ruskell made Matt Hasselbeck throw to.

My one takeaway from The Mandalorian and Grogu is that Star Wars needs way more synthwave in its scores.

The Mouse read the red ink on Target's reports and said "This can't be my future"

I am but a simple person and sometimes a McDonald’s double cheeseburger is the comfort pick Now the best? A Dick’s Deluxe from Seattle’s Dick’s Drive In. The perfect fast food burger.

lmao