GI Joe is short for Gastrointestinal Joseph

The feeling of your lungs opening up after using your inhaler is peak, lowkey euphoric. Non-asthmatics don't know what they're missing out on. 🫁

Wish JK Rowling would fuck off and go back to talking to the mold in her walls

ah good thing I'm a fucking dumbass then 💖✌️

I just think that anesthesiologists should add the scent of fresh-baked cinnamon rolls to the gas they use when they put you under. who wouldn't want to go to sleep smelling fresh-baked cinnamon rolls?? I think this would improve patient outcomes.

peace out losers im going to Dog World

How your email finds me

I heard they even invented “going #4”

in the clurb, we all fam(ished)

Woman Reminds Self Not To Catastrophize After Spotting 4 Skeletal Horsemen On Horizon

Lifetime is literally just Dark Hallmark

ngl if I had to meet JD Vance I would probably die too

‘Show Me Where You Make Autism!’ Shouts RFK Jr., Storming Sour Patch Kids Factory theonion.com/show-me...

If you don't have a toxic family to go on vacation with does White Lotus provide one for you?

"neurodivergent? but you were such a normal child" when I was in like 8th grade I wrote a fanfic about my favorite Animorphs character getting diagnosed with lupus

(listening to the filthiest smuttiest smut that ever smutted) hehe he said "nipples"

WE'RE WE 👏 HERE FUCK 👏 WE'RE SHIT 👏 QUEER UP 👏

beanut putter

(credit: @kymberlyday on insta)

the real villian is late stage capitalism

the episode of Spongebob where he gets so overwhelmed by new work tasks that he forgets his own name and has a complete meltdown is the most relatable thing I've ever seen

@amerrill2.bsky.social Hey Andy when I was in middle school I made a stop motion short where a weasel cat toy gets eaten by a sock and then the weasel escapes and they fight, to the Brak "Don't Touch Me" song. I got an A. I wish I still had the file. Anyway thanks for the cool jams.

who the heck is Marty Graw

I honestly think it would be hilarious if there was one family on White Lotus that was having just the best time, like we get two miserable storylines and then occasionally cut to this family going “We saw three dolphins!”

The amount of fruit I can afford in 2025

I don't mean to brag or anything but I'm pretty good at 🪨📃✂️

shut the hell your mouth

I think the most realistic thing about Monopoly is that you can go to jail like 12 times and it won't have any effect on your life as long as you're super rich

Republicans: noooo we can't give special treatment and handouts to minorities it's not fair 😢 Also Republicans: here's another kajillion-dollar tax cut for the wealthiest .01% Daddy loves u 💖😘

democracy? manifested

Amended New Years resolution: get in shape ̶t̶o̶ ̶g̶e̶t̶ ̶a̶ ̶h̶o̶t̶ ̶s̶u̶m̶m̶e̶r̶ ̶b̶o̶d̶ TO CHASE FUCKING NAZIS 🦵🦵

Does anyone know if NASA is taking applications to yeet people into the sun, asking for a f̶r̶i̶e̶n̶d̶ me 🚀🌞

they got him we can finally be at peace now 🙏

no one: cats at 3 AM:

Crypto is just Mary Kay for boys