Transitioning from listening to Car Talk while I made breakfast to watching Love Island while I eat. Because I am a vibrant woman who contains multitudes.

I really enjoy divining how games are going based on the skeets

I crave using this sentence in a real life conversation

the entire point of life is to be kind and weird btw

I am aware of how privileged I am to have Dad-provided IT Support

What I think we’ve all learned is that we’re going to need a lot of sage after it happens

Enjoying an evening bowl of cereal makes me feel like a child, except it’s Raisin Nut Bran, so I’m back to feeling old

I could really use a Midsommar-style group screaming session

Go into a local bookstore for a souvenir book while on a trip, leave with three new books you “needed.” Thanks @katefolk.bsky.social, @hildur.bsky.social, Brittany Newell, and @greedyreads.bsky.social for adding to my TBR list.

GREG DAVIES: seems like a kind of a shit task. Everyone just seems like they're going home normally. ALEX HORNE: well before you say that let's have a look at how Odysseus did. cut to panel of AJAX, MENELAUS, AGAMEMNON, and DIOMEDES who are all staring at ODYSSEUS with his head in his hands

PSA: Please don’t apply/reapply your perfume while you’re still sitting on the plane

“Who is that girl I see, staring straight back me? When will my reflection show who I am inside?”

Bonus episodes for Maintenance Phase and IBCK dropping a few days before a flight? I have been blessed.

Tag yourself, I’m DIE

It’s funny when an airline is like, “Hey, just wondering, no reason: do you want to switch up your upcoming flights? If you do, we’ll totally waive the difference in fares and any fees, because we’re so chill and always thinking of you.” That’s because it’s a favor you’re asking me to do for you.

A conflict-averse person who enjoys Bravo. An anxiety-ridden person who enjoys horror. I contain multitudes.

I guess I don’t see how this is a (much less the) problem with Bluesky. If this is the vibe he feels that most users are deliberately cultivating, then presumably it’s working for them. There’s a difference between a problem and a thing that makes something just not for you.

GIVEAWAY! Dead Weight is coming out next week and to celebrate I'm giving away two copies that have been personally bitten by Uggi and will be personally signed by me and shipped to the winners wherever they live! To enter just like and share this post and I'll select the winners on May 26th!

I will never apologize for loving Liz Phair’s self-titled album

If I was curious as to why there were cops running around my backyard at four in the morning, where would I look for that info?

I really think The Mist might have gone differently if they were in an H‑E‑B

I am on a record streak of TWO bags of fresh spinach that I have consumed before they go bad. Proud of myself.

What would The Strangers have done if someone named Tamra was home?

Just got an email from a social media marketing tool with the subject line: Follow along as we build the headless future of social Umm, what? Are we marketing or are we storming the Bastille?

I like how, when changing my sheets, a required step of remaking the bed is to put the 3-year-old plastic bag with two cat nip toys on top back in its usual spot. Pillows for me, plastic bag for Moonpie.

This is your reminder that nothing human-made is inevitable and you hereby have all the permission you need to reject bad/harmful social, technological, and political paradigms and to work toward something better.

AI commercial: “Built for anyone with a dream and the drive to make it a reality.” But not, like, a lot of drive. Just enough for a few prompts. Built for those people.

If the people in my life think I’m annoying now with how much I complain about AI, just wait til my hold on Empire of AI by @karenhao.bsky.social comes through on @libbyapp.com

sometimes Oxford is normal and sometimes members of @orieloxford.bsky.social chapel gather to serenade a new beehive on college grounds with a 17th century madrigal

I saw a post in the H‑E‑B subreddit titled “Something going on with the rotisserie chickens?” and my first thought was some kind of weird horror lit concept. What are they plotting, as they glisten in the warmer?

His watch has ended

My strategy this weekend is to sit around and then as soon as my cat jumps into my lap I’ll tell myself that I had every intention of getting up and being productive but, oh darn, now I have to stay because it’s illegal to move a cat

“Because cheese is not a sin” -what I just said in my kitchen, and also a kick-ass book/essay title option

Truly the only thing keeping me from developing an obsessive interest in birding in this stage of my life is my lack of executive function

When I open up my artisanal ice cream shop of weird flavors called “Scoop of Ideas,” just know that this is where it began

When radioactivity was discovered, there was a rush to market for all sorts of radioactive consumer goods. There were water jugs made out of uranium glass, for example. I think about that a lot these days whenever I see AI products being marketed to consumers.

This is why Suchet on a broad bean my be the Taskmaster prize I most covet

I very much enjoy feeling like Juliet tragically taking the poison as I tip back my tiny little travel-sized bottle of mouthwash

Someone left their copy of “The Ethical Slut” on top of a stack of those touristy city shirts they sell at the airport with overpriced bags of Skittles. Hello, Austin.

Irony is your flight to New York leaving from a gate right next to an Einstein Bros Bagels. Not gonna happen, guys.

The survival of Athena’s second owlet is a load-bearing piece of good news today

This Is Just To Say I have turned off the AI features that were in the update and which you were probably hoping to monetize Fuck you they were stupid so unnecessary and so annoying

Fighting with HEB is like fighting with the Pope, except HEB might have more moral authority in Texas.

Every time I open a can of beans, I like to imagine that someone from BeanTok is happy somewhere. I like to imagine this because standing next to me is a decidedly unhappy Moonpie who is disappointed that it wasn’t a can of tuna.

If any more awful men wish to file their resignation from Congress, for heaven’s sake, send them in. I’m quite at my leisure.

Today marks eight years with Moonpie. By coincidence, I took today off of work, but it does seem only right that it be celebrated as a holiday.

Look, Oz is great, but the most impactful musician Seth Green has ever portrayed is clearly Travis of Du Jour

What if before every AI prompt users had to sit through those “piracy is not a victimless crime” messages that they put on legally-purchased DVDs?