Me: I just want to relax a bit, maybe watch something stupid on TV. Daughter: Like the news? Me:

I said "Happy Thanksgiving" to the cashiers at the local grocery store like we won't see each other 17 more times in the next day and a half.

I'm here 15 minutes before the local pie place opens and the line is at least 30 people deep...

www.reddit.com/r/Albany/s/K... 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Busy day at work! Going to relax by watching a documentary about violent stalkers.

Scene: Vermont winter. Dusting of snow on the ground. Plans to go ice-skating as vacation camp field trip. Son: Mom, do I *have* to wear pants today instead of shorts?!?

My kids were so inspired by the Wicked movie yesterday that they were singing insults to each other this morning instead of yelling them. I'll take it, sibling squabbles with a creative twist 🤷‍♀️

Watched the second part of Wicked with the kids this afternoon. Son was not impressed, daughter and I *loved* it. Although I missed a chunk because I kept running to grab snacks, drinks, supporting bathroom runs etc. 🤷‍♀️ Still good, though.

If I am sitting on the toilet facing the tank, would that be equivalent to reverse cowgirl or do I have that backwards? Is the tank a torso, so sitting forward is reverse cowgirl, or is sitting forward 'standard' so the opposite is reverse cowgirl?

Adulthood is weird -- I'm proud of myself for fixing the toilet by myself, so I decided to 'splurge' on a new toilet seat as a reward.

Praying to the porcelain god, except that it's me crawling under my toilet trying to figure out how to loosen the thingamajig so I can replace the doohickey.

The best way to avoid unnecessary arguments with your spouse is by not having one in the first place. Tune in tomorrow for another secret the Illuminati don’t want you to know.

My road-grading/plowing guy finally showed up today after MONTHS of him avoiding me and making excuses. He's trying to grade a road that is 75% frozen. I would be 0% shocked if he is drunk as a skunk.

This cold has dragged on for a week and I'm still miserable. My Friday night? Tossing and turning while coughing nonstop and having night sweats 🫤

Hey. I know we don't talk much, but you are kinda cute. I hope you are having a great start to the holiday season, whether you are hiding from family and living your best life (fair); Or doing all the family things. And everything in between. Holidays can be rough, find people who aren't.

I asked the google about how to replace toilet innards. The google told me to buy a kit with a 2" flapper, because while they do make 3" flappers, like literally nobody has used those for ages. Welp, guess what, buttercup I'll exchange tomorrow but this was not on the list of my preferred plans

The twins are testing my patience this year. I keep trying to plan their birthday, but they want completely different things. BUT they also don't want to miss out on their siblings' party *and* want to invite their own friends, too. That's not how separate parties work, friend-doodles...

OK, kind of rude that none of my former lovers are trying to break into my double-wide right now...

For parents struggling, these donations are more than toys, they bring normalcy and relief. Help make it happen via Venmo (venmo.com/u/Dale-Grant-3) or our Amazon wishlist (www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/...) and share to spread the word.

Good morning, my mountain friend

If sexuality was a choice, then explain heterosexual women

Why do people keep liking my posts. I'm here for the 12 people who knew me from my original Twitter days. I don't know what to do with *gestures at everything* all of this.

I'll bam your boozle

She's pretty in pink 💗

Can't talk. Making chili so spicy it will burn this cold out of my head.

Good news: I slept well last night! This cold has been dragging on but this is the first good night's sleep I've had in a while. Bad news: I slept through my alarm and I'm late bringing the kids to school...

It's so weird being divorced. I actually really cared for many of my former in-laws. My ex's grandmother is likely to pass away soon, and I'm pretty sad about it. She is a tough broad with big opinions and a thick New England accent. She terrified me but I adored her.

Monday nights. Pick up kids at school A. Drive 20 minutes to school B for son's basketball practice. After half an hour, drive daughter to school A for her practice. Drop her off, then drive back to school B to pick up son. Then drive back to school A to pick up daughter. Then drive home 😵‍💫

I went outside and there's at least 8 inches of snow on the ground. 8 imperial inches, not 8 male "inches"

The school district either calls a snow day when there's just a dusting of snow on the ground, or doesn't even call a delay when there's 6+ inches on the ground and it's still snowing. I need someone to explain their logic to me with crayons.

I've been snotty and coughing all weekend. I'm feeling cranky about it.

I'm heading to the grocery store to check the weather. If the old-school Vermonters are out stocking up on groceries, then I know this storm will be a doozy.

For someone with garbage facial recognition I identified Claire Danes in a Netflix series *The beast in me* I'm really proud of myself.

I had a dream last night that Twitter finally added a feature to edit tweets and I got so excited I thought about starting an account there again. In unrelated news maybe I should spend less time on my phone...

Between my rough, dry skin and the fact that I haven't shaved in ages, sex with me would be a full-body exfoliating experience right now. - me, flirting

It's trans awareness week so as always

*external screaming*

I was raised as a Quaker so I'm obnoxiously oblivious to correct platitudes. To my Veteran friends, thank you for your service. Or, happy Veteran's day. You are appreciated and respected even if (I know I did) fuck up my platitudes. Again. Thank you for your patience because I'm a knucklehead.

I'm watching a movie from 1998. I have moderate facial blindness. I keep yelling at the TV, 'I know you from something but I don't know what.'

More snacks, less people.

Rt. 15 was a black-ice parking lot tonight. Be safe out there, friend-doodles.

Snow 💙

I keep looking at the news and every time I get more furious. I don't like any of our politicians. And I'm so disappointed in the democrats.

You're at Icona. I need you at Pop.

There has been a mouse living in my wall for a couple of weeks now. The problem is that I can't, for the life of me, figure out how it's getting in and out! I know it can't survive without getting out for food and water. I'm not a fan of the little bugger.

I have today off, so please explain to me why I'm wide awake at 5am?

Stupid question: We are in a housing crisis right now. But also our reproductive rates are tanking, which, fair. As much as we need housing right now how will we adapt less folks existing?!?

I laugh, not because I'm happy. I laugh because I've lost my goddamned mind.

3-5" of snow tonight! I'm psyched, stick season happened too early this year.