Samantha White
@fadestowhite.bsky.social
📤 794
📥 595
📝 1132
Got some opinions that need venting…
reposted by
Samantha White
The Onion
about 6 hours ago
FBI Agents Watch In Silence As Kash Patel Gets Ass Kicked By UFC Fighter
https://theonion.com/fbi-agents-watch-in-silence-as-kash-patel-gets-ass-kicked-by-ufc-fighter/
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reposted by
Samantha White
The Onion
about 5 hours ago
Southwest Airlines Begins Assigning Chores
https://theonion.com/southwest-airlines-begins-assigning-chores/
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reposted by
Samantha White
Unsourced News
about 3 hours ago
Trump Claims Iran Was Just Two Epstein Leaks Away from a Nuclear Weapon
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Trump Claims Iran Was Just Two Epstein Leaks Away from a Nuclear Weapon - Unsourced News
President Trump announced that Iran’s nuclear program was “literally two unredacted Epstein leaks away” from full operational capability.
https://unsourcednews.com/trump-claims-iran-was-just-two-epstein-leaks-away-from-a-nuclear-weapon/
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reposted by
Samantha White
The Daily Show
about 9 hours ago
Jon Iran-splains the ramifications of losing the Strait of Hormuz in a way even Trump can understand
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reposted by
Samantha White
Unsourced News
about 9 hours ago
Banksy Revealed as Decades-Long Exclusive Brand Partnership with Walmart Home Décor Line
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Banksy Revealed as Decades-Long Exclusive Brand Partnership with Walmart Home Décor Line - Unsourced News
Banksy has finally revealed the true nature of his work: a limited-time collaboration with Walmart’s “Rebel Chic™” home décor collection.
https://unsourcednews.com/banksy-revealed-as-decades-long-exclusive-brand-partnership-with-walmart-home-decor-line/
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reposted by
Samantha White
Unsourced News
1 day ago
Joe Rogan Reportedly Just One Elk Meat Protein Shake Away from Fully Formed Thought
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Joe Rogan Reportedly Just One Elk Meat Protein Shake Away from Fully Formed Thought - Unsourced News
Joe Rogan is reportedly on the verge of experiencing his first fully formed political realization after nine years of podcasting.
https://unsourcednews.com/joe-rogan-reportedly-just-one-elk-meat-protein-shake-away-from-fully-formed-thought/
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reposted by
Samantha White
Governor Newsom Press Office
3 days ago
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reposted by
Samantha White
Unsourced News
4 days ago
Netanyahu and Putin Spend Pleasant Afternoon Moving U.S. Carrier Groups Around Map Like Risk Pieces
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Netanyahu and Putin Spend Pleasant Afternoon Moving U.S. Carrier Groups Around Map Like Risk Pieces - Unsourced News
MOSCOW — Netanyahu and Putin spent much of the afternoon deciding what the United States should do next in Iran.
https://unsourcednews.com/netanyahu-and-putin-spend-pleasant-afternoon-moving-u-s-carrier-groups-around-map-like-risk-pieces/
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reposted by
Samantha White
Unsourced News
5 days ago
Lindsey Graham Advocates for Total Destruction of Iran Along With Any Gay Sex Videos Israel Might Have of Him
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Lindsey Graham Advocates for Total Destruction of Iran Along With Any Gay Sex Videos Israel Might Have of Him - Unsourced News
WASHINGTON, DC — In a fiery appearance on Thursday morning political shows, Lindsey Graham called for the “total and complete destruction of Iran’s military capabilities,” before quickly adding that t...
https://unsourcednews.com/lindsey-graham-advocates-for-total-destruction-of-iran-along-with-any-gay-sex-videos-israel-might-have-of-him/
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reposted by
Samantha White
WWN
5 days ago
Quote of the day
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reposted by
Samantha White
Unsourced News
5 days ago
Defense Department Says Strait of Hormuz Mines Are Clearly Marked by Floating Debris and Fire
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Defense Department Says Strait of Hormuz Mines Are Clearly Marked by Floating Debris and Fire - Unsourced News
The DoD announced that Iranian mines scattered throughout the Strait of Hormuz are “clearly marked” by floating debris and columns of fire.
https://unsourcednews.com/defense-department-says-strait-of-hormuz-mines-are-clearly-marked-by-floating-debris-and-fire/
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reposted by
Samantha White
The Onion
6 days ago
“Which way is Iran?” “Woman! Tell me if Iran is to the left of here or if it’s south!” the commander-in-chief yelled at a morning commuter
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‘Which Way Is Iran?’ Asks Pantsless, Sword-Wielding Trump Wandering On Side Of Freeway
WASHINGTON—In a chaotic scene that left motorists confused and alarmed, witnesses along Interstate 495 reported Tuesday that President Donald Trump was seen wandering pantsless on the shoulder of the ...
https://theonion.com/which-way-is-iran-asks-pantsless-sword-wielding-trump-wandering-on-side-of-freeway/
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reposted by
Samantha White
Unsourced News
6 days ago
Hegseth Bans Photographers from Pentagon After They Published Unflattering Pictures of His Vagina
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Hegseth Bans Photographers from Pentagon After They Published Unflattering Pictures of His Vagina - Unsourced News
Defense Secretary Hegseth announced new restrictions on photographers after the publication of “unflattering upskirt images” of his vagina.
https://unsourcednews.com/hegseth-bans-photographers-from-pentagon-after-they-published-unflattering-pictures-of-his-vagina/
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reposted by
Samantha White
The Onion
6 days ago
JD Vance Struggling To Articulate What It Is He Doesn’t Love About Baby Name ‘Rohit’
https://theonion.com/jd-vance-struggling-to-articulate-what-it-is-he-doesnt-love-about-baby-name-rohit/
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reposted by
Samantha White
Unsourced News
7 days ago
Chugging Energy Drinks, Hegseth Warns Iran It’s About to Learn Why America Doesn’t Skip Leg Day
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Chugging Energy Drinks, Hegseth Warns Iran It's About to Learn Why America Doesn’t Skip Leg Day - Unsourced News
Cracking his eighth energy drink of the morning, Pete Hegseth assured that Iran was about to learn “ why America doesn’t skip leg day.”
https://unsourcednews.com/chugging-energy-drinks-hegseth-warns-iran-its-about-to-learn-why-america-doesnt-skip-leg-day/
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reposted by
Samantha White
The Onion
8 days ago
Markets In Turmoil As Price Of Money Skyrockets To $90 A Dollar
http://theonion.com/markets-in-turmoil-as-price-of-money-skyrockets-to-90-1819575197/
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reposted by
Samantha White
The Daily Show
8 days ago
Sure, Trump wore a campaign hat to a dignified transfer, but remember when President Obama saluted while holding a latte?
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reposted by
Samantha White
Unsourced News
8 days ago
As Gas Prices Surge, Trump Says Americans Should Look Into Electric Golf Carts Like the One He’s Driving
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As Gas Prices Surge, Trump Says Americans Should Look Into Electric Golf Carts Like the One He’s Driving - Unsourced News
With gasoline prices climbing, President Trump urged Americans struggling at the pump to consider a simple alternative: electric golf carts.
https://unsourcednews.com/as-gas-prices-surge-trump-says-americans-should-look-into-electric-golf-carts-like-the-one-hes-driving/
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reposted by
Samantha White
Unsourced News
11 days ago
Administration Confident Plan to Install Trump as Iran’s President Will Collapse Nation Within Months
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Administration Confident Plan to Install Trump as Iran’s President Will Collapse Nation Within Months - Unsourced News
The White House unveiled a “regime-change alternative”: simply installing Trump as Iran’s president and allowing events to unfold naturally
https://unsourcednews.com/administration-confident-plan-to-install-trump-as-irans-president-will-collapse-nation-within-months/
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reposted by
Samantha White
The Onion
10 days ago
Kristi Noem Fired As DHS Secretary
https://theonion.com/kristi-noem-fired-as-dhs-secretary/
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reposted by
Samantha White
The Onion
10 days ago
Trump On Fence About Attending Ayatollah’s Funeral
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Trump On Fence About Attending Ayatollah’s Funeral
WASHINGTON—Carefully weighing the implications of his presence at a particularly tense moment in relations between Iran and the United States, President Trump told reporters Monday that he remained on...
https://theonion.com/trump-on-fence-about-attending-ayatollahs-funeral/
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reposted by
Samantha White
Unsourced News
12 days ago
Sources Say Lewandowski Already Setting His Sights on Markwayne Mullin
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Sources Say Lewandowski Already Setting His Sights on Markwayne Mullin - Unsourced News
Barely hours after the firing of Noem, sources say Lewandowski has already set his sights on replacement DHS Secretary Markwayne Mullin.
https://unsourcednews.com/sources-say-lewandowski-already-setting-his-sights-on-markwayne-mullin/
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reposted by
Samantha White
Adam Parkhomenko
12 days ago
That’s what I’m talking about
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reposted by
Samantha White
Unsourced News
12 days ago
Administration Debuts Spinning Wheel to Explain Why U.S. Is Bombing Iran Today
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Administration Debuts Spinning Wheel to Explain Why U.S. Is Bombing Iran Today - Unsourced News
The White House unveiled a large, brightly colored wheel to answer questions Americans might have about bombing Iran.
https://unsourcednews.com/administration-debuts-spinning-wheel-to-explain-why-u-s-is-bombing-iran-today/
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reposted by
Samantha White
The Daily Show
13 days ago
Trump Stumped by Worst-Case Iran Scenario & Hegseth Gives Bullying Pep Talk
youtu.be/UVwqIxEg9So
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Trump Stumped by Worst-Case Iran Scenario & Hegseth Gives Bullying Pep Talk | The Daily Show
YouTube video by The Daily Show
https://youtu.be/UVwqIxEg9So
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reposted by
Samantha White
The Daily Mash
13 days ago
How I intend to out-macho every army in the entire world, by Pete Hegseth
buff.ly/vvYbJan
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reposted by
Samantha White
Unsourced News
13 days ago
Officials Say Barron Trump Must Remain Stateside to Retrieve the Folder Labeled “Other People’s Kids”
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Officials Say Barron Trump Must Remain Stateside to Retrieve the Folder Labeled “Other People’s Kids” - Unsourced News
Administration officials confirmed that Barron Trump will be unable to serve due to his easy access to a folder labeled “Other People’s Kids.”
https://unsourcednews.com/officials-say-barron-trump-must-remain-stateside-to-retrieve-the-folder-labeled-other-peoples-kids/
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reposted by
Samantha White
Unsourced News
15 days ago
Administration Says War in Iran Could End Quickly or Escalate Into Biden’s Fault
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Administration Says War in Iran Could End Quickly or Escalate Into Biden’s Fault - Unsourced News
The Trump administration confirmed Monday that the war in Iran retains the flexibility to develop into Biden’s fault if necessary.
https://unsourcednews.com/administration-says-war-in-iran-could-end-quickly-or-escalate-into-bidens-fault/
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reposted by
Samantha White
McSweeney's
15 days ago
"My fellow Americans, despite what everyone else says, we are living in the golden age of America. Not your golden age, though. My golden age. As in: I am very old, and everything I own is either solid gold or gold-plated or painted in gold to make it seem like it’s real gold."
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My Fellow Americans, We Are Richer Than Ever Before. Well, You Aren’t, but We Are
“My fellow Americans, our nation is back—bigger, better, richer and stronger than ever before.” — Donald Trump during his State of the Union - - -M...
https://buff.ly/kxJdi7M
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reposted by
Samantha White
The Onion
15 days ago
Experts Point To Long, Glorious History Of Successful U.S. Bombing Campaigns
https://theonion.com/experts-point-to-long-glorious-history-of-successful-u-1819575498/
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reposted by
Samantha White
Unsourced News
18 days ago
CNN Rebrands as “Conservative News Network,” Insists It’s Totally Unrelated to Right Wing Billionaire Takeover
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CNN Rebrands as “Conservative News Network,” Insists It's Totally Unrelated to Right Wing Billionaire Takeover - Unsourced News
CNN announced an official rebrand to “Conservative News Network,” stressing it has “nothing to do with the Trump-aligned Paramount takeover.”
https://unsourcednews.com/cnn-rebrands-as-conservative-news-network-insists-its-totally-unrelated-to-right-wing-billionaire-takeover/
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reposted by
Samantha White
Unsourced News
21 days ago
Trump Vows to Ramble Incoherently On All Topics Unrelated to the State or the Union in Historic State of the Union Address
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Trump Vows to Ramble Incoherently On All Topics Unrelated to the State or the Union in Historic State of the Union Address - Unsourced News
President Trump announced today that this year’s State of the Union will feature no mention of the state, the union, or any policy matter.
https://unsourcednews.com/trump-vows-to-ramble-incoherently-on-all-topics-unrelated-to-the-state-or-the-union-in-historic-state-of-the-union-address/
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reposted by
Samantha White
The Beaverton
22 days ago
God-fearing conservative open to fearing everything else as well
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God-fearing conservative open to fearing everything else as well
LONDON, ON - Self-professed "god-fearing Christian" and registered Conservative voter Graham Cortland has recently expressed an openness to being afraid of numerous other aspects of everyday life.
https://www.thebeaverton.com/2025/10/god-fearing-conservative-open-to-fearing-everything-else-as-well/
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reposted by
Samantha White
The Daily Show
22 days ago
SCOTUS Torches Trump's Tariffs, Iran War Looms & MAGA Co-opts Team USA Hockey Win
youtu.be/fOdTHhQ1xY0
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SCOTUS Torches Trump's Tariffs, Iran War Looms & MAGA Co-opts Team USA Hockey Win | The Daily Show
YouTube video by The Daily Show
https://youtu.be/fOdTHhQ1xY0
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reposted by
Samantha White
Unsourced News
22 days ago
USA Hockey Players Report Gold Medal Slightly Heavier Due to the Kash Patel Dangling From It
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USA Hockey Players Report Gold Medal Slightly Heavier Due to the Kash Patel Dangling From It - Unsourced News
Celebrations reportedly took a turn when FBI Director Kash Patel entered the locker room and attempted to attach himself the gold medal
https://unsourcednews.com/usa-hockey-players-report-gold-medal-slightly-heavier-due-to-the-kash-patel-dangling-from-it/
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reposted by
Samantha White
The Onion
23 days ago
Aide Wearily Begins 5th Explanation Of Why Trump Can’t Pardon Prince Andrew
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Aide Wearily Begins 5th Explanation Of Why Trump Can’t Pardon Prince Andrew
WASHINGTON—Exhausted from repeated efforts to explain the most basic aspect of political power, an aide to President Trump nevertheless began wearily explaining for the fifth time Friday why he couldn...
https://theonion.com/aide-wearily-begins-5th-explanation-of-why-trump-cant-pardon-prince-andrew/
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Samantha White
Unsourced News
23 days ago
Trump Dispatches Military Hospital Ship to Cure Greenland of Democracy
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Trump Dispatches Military Hospital Ship to Cure Greenland of Democracy - Unsourced News
President Trump announced Sunday that he has dispatched a hospital ship to “treat and reverse the symptoms of democracy before it spreads.”
https://unsourcednews.com/trump-dispatches-military-hospital-ship-to-cure-greenland-of-democracy/
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reposted by
Samantha White
The Onion
24 days ago
Tips For Observing Lent
https://theonion.com/tips-for-observing-lent/
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Couldn’t be more different
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24 days ago
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reposted by
Samantha White
The Onion
24 days ago
Trump Asks When He Gets To Kill Olympians Who Lost
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Trump Asks When He Gets To Kill Olympians Who Lost
WASHINGTON—Declaring that athletes who had disgraced their country with a poor performance needed to be dealt with in the harshest manner possible, President Donald Trump asked advisors Tuesday when h...
https://theonion.com/trump-asks-when-he-gets-to-kill-olympians-who-lost/
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Samantha White
Unsourced News
24 days ago
Noem Orders $70 Million Luxury Jet for “Ummm… Deportations”
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Noem Orders $70 Million Luxury Jet for "Ummm... Deportations" - Unsourced News
DHS Secretary Kristi Noem has reportedly approved the purchase of another $70 million luxury private jet to assist with “Ummm… deportations.”
https://unsourcednews.com/noem-orders-70-million-luxury-jet-for-ummm-deportations/
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reposted by
Samantha White
MeidasTouch
25 days ago
He's not taking it well you guys
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Samantha White
Unsourced News
25 days ago
Administration Desperately Seeking New Ways to Cripple U.S. Economy After SCOTUS Rules Against Tariffs
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Administration Desperately Seeking New Ways to Cripple U.S. Economy After SCOTUS Rules Against Tariffs - Unsourced News
Moments after the ruling, senior officials convened to identify bold alternatives for crippling the economy without relying on imported good
https://unsourcednews.com/administration-desperately-seeking-new-ways-to-cripple-u-s-economy-after-scotus-rules-against-tariffs/
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reposted by
Samantha White
FactPost
25 days ago
Trump: I can do anything I want to do to them, but I can't charge any money. So I'm allowed to destroy the country, but I can't charge them a little fee.
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reposted by
Samantha White
Unsourced News
4 months ago
White House Unveils New Economic Plan: Read All Charts Upside Down
#satire
#humor
#economy
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White House Unveils New Economic Plan: Read All Charts Upside Down - Unsourced News
The White House today announced its groundbreaking new economic plan to read all data charts will be read upside down.
https://unsourcednews.com/white-house-unveils-new-economic-plan-read-all-charts-upside-down/
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reposted by
Samantha White
Unsourced News
25 days ago
Latest White House Distraction Backfires When Declassified Alien Visitors Start Asking About Epstein Files
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Latest White House Distraction Backfires When Declassified Alien Visitors Start Asking About Epstein Files - Unsourced News
The declassification of extraterrestrials took an unexpected turn when the aliens immediately began asking questions about the Epstein files.
https://unsourcednews.com/latest-white-house-distraction-backfires-when-declassified-alien-visitors-start-asking-about-epstein-files/
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reposted by
Samantha White
Governor Newsom Press Office
26 days ago
In honor of America’s 250th birthday, Trump is celebrating by taxing every family $1,776. King George would be proud!
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reposted by
Samantha White
Unsourced News
26 days ago
Users Report Grok Keeps Steering Conversations Toward “Maturity” and “Old Souls” and Asking if Parents Are ‘Home Right Now’
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Users Report Grok Keeps Steering Conversations Toward “Maturity” and “Old Souls” and Asking if Parents Are ‘Home Right Now’ - Unsourced News
Users across the X are claiming Grok is guiding normal conversations into territory best described as HR meeting with a lawyer present.
https://unsourcednews.com/users-report-grok-keeps-steering-conversations-toward-maturity-and-old-souls-and-asking-if-parents-are-home-right-now/
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reposted by
Samantha White
The Onion
26 days ago
Grieving Prince Andrew Asks For 12-Year-Old During This Difficult Time
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