This is my lawyer. His name is Jenk Vanderlenk

What am I 13??

cracking an egg into a mug and putting it in the microwave for 45 minutes

Might go to the met tomorrow to say hi to my homie (this ram head)

when i was young so many things happened to me

Its harder to come up with stuff to say on here.....

First date idea: the contraption

cowritten with @hesse.lol

TW: Squilliam . . . oh you know I'm posting the first Squilliam to blusky

I was in charge of making sure the met gala outfits kind of suck this year. How did I do

McDonalds Sprite low key hits different!

Water from the sink hits different at night!

It begins

[trying to fit in with the tech bros] next year the met gala will be entirely ai generated probably

Just found out Dorsia isn't a real restaurant. Don't text

Hey man sorry I missed your text I was reading a 623 page book

Feel like this has reaction image potential

sorry Mr Dorsey but I cant be on here if they're gonna be called skeets you gotta change it man

my network has been infiltrated

(after seeing a babe on here so hot she makes me forget my cave gnome bit) this site bout to make me post a thirst trap fr 😈🫦 (suddenly remember im supposed to be a harmless little gnome) i mean the pit trap that guards my cave from adventurers

I found Drake's secret account but I'm not gonna tell anyone what it is

Hiiiiiii