Hey Siri, what would be the opposite of that game where people are asked to choose their dream celebrity dinner party guests? ...Thanks

"Keir Starmer Hot" Not three words I was expecting to see in conjunction today. I guess vulnerability is sexy.

I keep forgetting this is here

New episode out today! It's our live commemoration of the third anniversary of the death of Queen Elizabeth II. Feat: @sueharrison123.bsky.social @mikeshephard.bsky.social Sammy Dobson @atomcrowley.bsky.social @linneasage.bsky.social Mike Wozniak Thanks to @greigarjohnson.bsky.social for vids!

Matched with Jeremy Corbyn on Tinder. He asked me if I knew his favourite song. That was a Red Flag straight away.

I don't see race. Or gender. Or traffic. Should probably consider laser eye surgery, if I'm being brutally honest with myself. #philosophy #politics #wellness #selfcare #selfhelp #beyourbestself #socialjustice #goodlocalopticians

New episode out now! It's been a dark month for the beef industry, but we're here for you. We will not let Jacobinius Arse Syndrome beat us. Featuring @mikewozniak.bsky.social @mikeshephard.bsky.social @tomcrowley.bsky.social @linneasage.bsky.social maximumfun.org/episodes/bee...

Hello there. I script-edited a couple of episodes of this sketch show on Radio 4 with @mikeshephard.bsky.social. Look at that outrageously good cast, they all smashed it to bits on the night. Listen here, it would simply be rude not to imo: www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/...

After decades of the peace process, it is genuinely heartening to see the people of this once troubled land gradually moving towards a clear and unambiguous consensus 🙏 #Ireland #seeninbelfast #Belfast #reconciliation #76percent #silentmajority #atleasttheyagreeonsomething #jokes #humour #pepsimax

Finally found the wall where Christopher Nolan collects his female characters #London #Clapham #movies #film #filmmaking #bitoffun

Americans tend to exaggerate the significance of their sporting events. I call this Superbole #US #UK #culturaldifferences #joke #sport #hyperbole

Do it once = You're being cheap. Do it every year = It's our romantic tradition. #valentines #costoflivingcrisis #costofliving #lifehacks #love #romance #modernromance #marriage #marriagetips #marriageadvice #greatusesforpostitnotes

Can't believe there's a Disney Princess range of make-up, and they didn't think to call it Mulan Rouge #puns #Disney #edgyhumour #alrightprincess #moulinrouge #makeup

Got to say, the @allontheboard #thoughtfortheday wasn't as inspiring as usual this morning. But at least it's a poem you can remember. #london #londonlife #poetry #poetryonthetube #allontheboard #inspirational #uplifting

Good of Melania Trump to highlight the incoming administration's commitment to both technology and law and order by dressing as Inspector Gadget #Trump #trumpinauguration #usa #Gadget #inspectorgadget #greatestandmostconsequential

The inauguration is a big day for Donald Trump. It will only be the second time that he's held a Bible in his hand without a judge asking him to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. #Trump #Trump2024 #inauguration #bible #endtimes

Spaceship enthusiast and failing car salesman Elon Musk is currently considered the world's most eligible bachelor, charming women with his dashing good looks and unrelenting political insights #wealth #money #moneytalks #unfortunately #moneywontSTFU #latestagecapitalism #fartoolatestagecapitalism

Damn you, #CryptoBros! I invested heavily in ChocCoin before Christmas, and the price remained stable and high. Why did no one foresee this spectacular crash? #crypto #chocolate #investment #finance #Christmas #grind #bros

Sound of Music Themed Dinner Main Course: Venison en croute: Ingredients: 1) Dough 2) A deer

A profound day for all of us who follow politics. Truly makes you realise that no matter what the context or tone of voice, the phrase "peanut farmer" always sounds like a cockney insult #youpeanut #peanutfarmer #RIPJimmyCarter #Respect

A very happy and holy Oak Furnitureland sale to all those who celebrate

This advice from the RSPCA may have been intended in relation to hedgehogs, but also works if you are planning on leaving something out for Santa. Forget milk. Give the man a proper drink, and save yourself from a chimney full of humiliation. #santa2024 #Santa #fatherchristmas #safety #christmas

For a long time, I thought the phrase "giant Sports Direct mug" was just another way to describe Mike Ashley

If you've ever wanted to follow your dreams of writing comedy full-time, you will find no greater opportunity than this. It worked for me, and I am now so successful that I just bought my yacht another yacht, so its not lonely while I'm out drinking pints of caviar careers.bbc.co.uk/job-invite/1...

Just seeing what this is all about. Had to get away from the hateful toxicity of Threads