Bank robber describes getting caught robbing banks as "one of the most difficult moments" in his career of bank robbery.

What? Oh, you know, not much. It's fine, everything's fine.

I just think it's nice that Audie Murphy's still dating.

Tonight in sport: Stu v European football's most notoriously hard-to-find goal.

I presume there's wanton fornication in the streets of West Bridgford by now. Or, you know, more wanton than usual.

Huzzah.

I think the thing I hate most about the term "bad light" is that it's gaslighting light. The light is not bad. All light is content-neutral. Granted, "insufficient ability to deal with perfectly normal light that's less bright than it might otherwise be" isn't as pithy, but still.

Mandelson writing to Epstein that his initial legal troubles "just could not happen in Britain" has got to be this year's True, But Maybe Not In the Way You Were Thinking winner.

This feels real because an Anglophile American would be polite enough to imply there are Worcs cricketers who aren't obscure.

If you're unfamiliar with Jared Moskowitz, he's got something of the Australian slip fielder who literally never shuts up about him, and it's fantastic.

NOTTINGHAM HAS ENTERED THE GODDAMN CHAT.

Hank Johnson here, hitting Nigel with a little Your Ground's Too Big For You.

Gotta admit, Nige has a point here. If I turn up at Heathrow and start suggesting people beat up other people in toilets, I could be in for a rough ride.

Just spitballing here, but somebody should find out if this man's home country has a national broadcaster of some sort that employs somebody who could ask him questions along these lines.

It's also got a cavalcade of Republicans being as awful as you'd expect, but Democrats on the US House Judiciary Committee are turning this into The Roast of Nigel Farage, and that is glorious.

This is a good example of how rightwing patriotism works as well. "Look at this one brilliant thing we must cherish and defend!" "Look at the overall state of this degraded hellscape we live in!"

This is true: the two things I tried to keep secret when my life involved attending lots of social gatherings with middle class British people were my dislike of olives and the music of David Bowie.

The politics version of "Why does the Hundred, a competition that has received more marketing and media attention than any other domestic cricket competition in the current era, have so much more popularity?" Ed Davey is the Metro Bank One Day Cup.

The Gulf Stream makes for some weird latitudinal bedfellows.

I'm never sure what Florida is doing due south of Michigan and way west of New York.

Take: Slow TV is awful and a fairly cynical way for broadcasters to do lots of content for almost no money, but because it's largely Scandinavian we give it way too much credit for being smart and interesting.

Behold, the opening scene montage of one of the greatest horror films you have ever seen.

If we're really lucky, T20 will finally bring international cricket to the countries that invented international cricket.

Remember, one of the main tenets of being a big, tough conservative is that you need to act like a tiny little pissbaby who is scared of everything.

(Smug "checkmate, losers" voice): You say Test cricket must survive, but what if I told you me and all my friends can play Cricket 24 on our PlayStations?

@paulframe85.bsky.social Out west to check in on the fellas.

The voice making announcements on the Seattle metro system talks in the first person as if she is the train, and it always weirds me out a little. "Entering Columbia City; exit the train on *my* right." Gotcha Hal, gonna do that at a dead sprint if that's cool with you.

I love the inclusion of "American" here, like this is part of what makes America unique. Burkina Faso history? Operates in the unknowable vastness of multiverse; time isn't real and realities constantly intersect in increasingly unpredictable ways. 1431 was yesterday, and is tomorrow.

I've never had many Aussie Rules opinions, but it was only today that I learned the Sydney Swans team song is just the Notre Dame fight song with different lyrics, and now I hate them with every fiber of my being.

As someone who wants to see cricket succeed in the US, I hate all of this. But as someone who thinks cricket traditions are important, there's something reasurring about a good ol' fashioned USA cricket governing board meltdown. www.espncricinfo.com/story/icc-pr...

Darling, there's something I need to tell you. You're going to hear it anyway, and I want you to hear it from me first. (Deep breath) I'm a massive Coldplay fan.

Just imagined traveling back in time to 2006 and explaining to people how World Cup champion Italy doesn't qualify for World Cups in the calcio anymore, but Italy is in the World Cup for that newfangled form of cricket that your Telegraph-reading uncle hates so much.

Thoughts a couple days late on the MLC final? Sure. I don't love how a team that went 3-7 in the regular season made the playoffs and won it all. However, I also like that sport is done differently in different places. In North America, we have playoffs. MI New York won in the playoffs. Fair enough.

Still going to tea in this situation is just straight-up kink. It's sport BDSM. Ohhhhhhh, you want this? You want this, you dirty little freak? Well you have to wait.

Yeah why would Americans ever want to watch this, give us Gujarat Titans Cincinnati instead.

Test cricket

Ok hear me out. If this is canon, the existence of a Midsomer minor counties cricket side is also canon. Which means there could be a murder at a National Counties Showcase match.

Canadian FKW: rare. Canadian non-hockey FKW: like a baby pigeon.

The best way to get people to thank you for being a conman is to convince them they're in on the con even when they are quite patently not.

I went through a panama hat phase when I was around the age Broad is now. It's just a journey a man nearing 40 needs to go through, let's respect his lifestyle choice.

"The Classico, as they call it " - Eoin Morgan, perhaps being a bit overoptimistic about the legendary status of the Texas Super Kings/MI New York rivalry.

Bob Fosse, batting coach.

And if Italy and Jersey both win - both qualify!

Because I am remarkably petty, I want it noted in light of last night's MLC semifinal rainout in Dallas that Lauderhill took rain all last week and not a single match was canceled. It's almost as if Lauderhill is great as long as the area doesn't get the kind of rain that merits a Wikipedia page.

Needless to say, the one Florida MLC match I miss all week would be the one where a side almost chases down 245 in 19 overs.

The local paper spotted ya boy at yesterday's matches.

The security guard directly in front of me is wearing rubber gloves, which makes me wonder what kind of situations they're anticipating having to deal with here.

The IPL-owned MLC teams have their own songs; the Texas Super Kings have a country-rap affrontery that gets played 937 times a match. The Seattle Orcas, who do not have music-commissioning money, play Nirvana. (Seriously Orcas, you could at least do Posse on Broadway.)